One Night Only Review

Transcript

Pizza Hut Nostalgia Cold Open

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Bizarre. We only tonight's the night, and we only have tonight.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Bistou fish dish? It was. I I don't know what well, I don't know what the lesson is. Yeah, we'll get into it. Yeah, hey there, everybody. Welcome to High and Try Podcast. I'm your host, Ryan Barron North. With me as always, James Crosslin. We are, of course, of course, the only podcast keeping alive the fandom of Circuit City and the salad bar at Pizza Hut.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

That salad bar at Pizza Hut fucking ruled. I remember that during the 90s. Like I used to really. I used to beg to go to Pizza Hut for like their lunch buffet. Do you remember like the cinnamon pizza? Cinnamon pizza was so fucking good.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

We hadn't quite uh pulled back on that uh we were being raised by all the boomers. It was just processed. Fucking everything. Health was not a concern yet whatsoever. And yeah, the cinnamon pizza at the salad bar was uh definitely a harbinger of that.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

And then I would eat really fast, and then my mom wouldn't be done. And so I'd be like, Can I go get a temporary tattoo from the little uh you remember the machines with Crank? It's like, all right, temporary tattoo time.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

It's just a fantastic place. Yeah. It was a wild world. But anyway, so we are not actually gonna be talking about the salad barred pizza hut for the entire episode. What we are gonna be talking about uh this week is the film One Night Only, and we're gonna be doing it in our patented three-part method. First, we're going to rate it out of five stars. It is the definitive rating. You're not gonna get a better rating anywhere ever. The discussion

Format, Drinks, And Listener Shoutouts

SPEAKER_00 2:07

is over after that point. So call in now while you still have a chance. Uh then we will dive into the deeper meanings of this film or lack thereof on the golden piece.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

I think it's got a lot. You know, you say lack thereof, but I think it's got a lot of deeper that are not necessarily good.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

They just they just yeah, I don't know. But uh, and then finally, we're gonna insert ourselves drugs or alcohol into the film. And what makes it so special and fun is that we will be doing it with our minds altered. So uh James, what are you uh enjoying today?

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

I uh got something from my private booze library. No, it's just a it's a small batch four roses. 90 proof, nothing crazy. It's uh notes of rich ripe fruit, delicate baking spice, and mellow oak. It's not gonna taste like any of those things.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

It sounds really nice.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Yeah. But it will not taste like any of those things.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

It's gonna it's gonna it's gonna taste like uh someone spit in a tub of cinnamon and then mix that into some liquor.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

It's been just in a nice hot barrel.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

Yeah. So you know, I recently got some Ube liqueur that I think I'm gonna put in some coffee for our next one. That'll be fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

That'll be fun. Alright. Well, this first toast, this one's going on to our newest listeners. It was a uh it was a busy month. We have we got uh some people coming in as for this one was interesting. Hiringe of hiring. But both heroes are spelled differently. So the city is H A R R I N G A Y, and the location, I mean it's whatever it's coming out of, is H-A-R-I-N-G-E-Y. Same fucking same fucking word, different spelling. Hering, herengay. Interesting. Yes. We also have uh Grusenheim joining us again, Pune of Maharashtra. Let's see, we got uh Bradford of Bradford, Santiago of the Santiago metropolitan area, and Cheetah from the Transbica territory. Transbicaal. Transbica. They use bikes. Bikes.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

So uh Harangay and Herringay. Uh Herringay is the neighborhood, and Haringay is the borough. AY is the neighborhood, and EY is the borough. It's London, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Great, great. Okay. All right. So coming at us from London. I don't know. Maybe they're uh they got us on at the at uh Nathan's new spot just pumping out there in hering.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

So they're they play us to a stadium of football fan football fans. Football fans.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Yeah. Uh and that's why we only get one view for all of them, though, because they gather around every Monday and listen to it communally.

SPEAKER_03 5:25

It's like 5,000 people uh watching some footy and listening to the podcast. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Thanks, man. Thanks, guys. And they never comment, never never interact as fans. They just choose to appreciate it like a like a fine line. Yeah, they just let it sink and they'll talk about it. Yeah, they talk about it at home, but never in any way that gets us listens. But whatever. It's fine.

unknown 5:52

It's fine.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

So here's to them. Here's to you, Harry. Cheers. Cheers.

SPEAKER_03 5:59

That's so refreshing. Oh yeah. How's yours? Tell me, Tom, did you do you get the notes of oak? So refreshing. So refreshing.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Nothing quite parches the thirst like a swallow of bourbon. You know?

SPEAKER_03 6:16

It tastes like Santa's ball sack.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Feel ready to run, you know. Warming the channels. My body's like, really? We're doing this some more.

unknown 6:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

So one more for the team. All right. It's time for our uh our next host. This one goes out to well, I guess there was a lot going on in that film. I guess Molly Rainwald and

The Movie Premise And Quick Summary

SPEAKER_00 6:49

LeVar Burton. LeVar Burton. I could I could raise one to those two. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheers.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

And bubble wrap. Yeah, they they sure acted like bubble wrap was like a really crazy thing to happen. It's like people that's going on in this world. Way crazier fucking fetishes than that. Yeah. Just running around in a bubble wrap a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

Yeah, no, it's like, hey, just enjoy yourselves, guys. It's uh it's the night, it's our purge. Which uh also um thrilled they decided not to show what would surely be a fucking just eruption of sexual assault.

SPEAKER_03 7:39

Sure, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Oh my god. So and this last host, uh last hit, uh this one goes on to the film One Night Only.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

I guess. Cheers.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

So one night only.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Do you wanna give the summary?

SPEAKER_00 8:04

Yeah. So if you've ever seen The Purge, it's like that, but instead of all crime, it's just sex. Our heroes gets fucked to death. Get fucked to death. One night a year. There's nothing you can do about it. It's government mandated. No, so the the entire premise is that um the government decides that we could only have sex, premarital sex, one night a year. And that's just kinda groovy. You know, there's the occasional graffiti of fuck the mandate or uh whatever, but that seems to be really the only pushback that society seems to give this at all. And we encounter our two star-crossed heroes. Um of them, what the what was his name? Uh Owen. Owen. Yeah, he's alright, he has a relationship. He was getting ready for the big night. He was gonna have sex with his girlfriend and propose, and she decides that on this night she wants to sleep with someone else, and it's gonna be a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 9:10

It's Maya Hawk, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Yeah, Nathan Hawk's daughter. Yes. It it's uh, you know, the it's I did uh you know, this is uh something like I uh to bring up, I guess, in the golden path for me, just the the concept of people like they say they're doing something for us or for you, and think it's it's completely selfish. And um his uh girlfriend, uh who he wants fiance, decides that she's gonna sleep with someone in the building, so he goes out on this night to kind of get out there, and you know, he doesn't want to dwell on it, he wants to find someone. Meanwhile, our other hero, she and her friend, uh her name being Ash Ashley. Allie. Allie. Allie. Um she has a night plan with her friend, they're gonna go out, they're gonna get crunked, they're gonna have some sex and find the special one. They basically have this deal. That breaks down within the first five minutes, and Allie is sent off into her own to lament and maybe find the one. And as the night goes on, there's accidental meetings and they keep sort of orbiting each other. And and then yeah, the chaos ensues. And you know, it's a romantic comedy, you're assaulted by song after song after song.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Which is really funny because like I liked most of the songs, but it really was like they were really beating you over the head with every song.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

It was it was non-stop.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

Every time someone walks across from one side of the screen to the other, there's a song that blasts.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Yeah, and and it's you know, it's it's from that same group of that that that have been making they there's not even new songs in it. There's no new song in that whole fucking thing.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

It like Maroon 5 showed up, and you know, Making My Way Downtown was in it, and all those sorts, like it was not the new radicals though, the one night only New Radicals that you I think that's the song you were telling me about.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Yes, so that's another thing to bring up. The New Radicals, who have been gone since 1999, after telling um Manson to go fuck himself in their uh their big song, they vanish 27 years for 27 years to reappear one night only in one night only. So that was bizarre. That was bizarre. Uh well well, what did you think of this movie?

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Uh it should you want me to do the rating? Okay, okay, so so acting. Uh acting, I uh I'll give you I'll start off first and just give you a general. I thought this movie was I thought this movie

Ratings Round One: What Works

SPEAKER_03 12:00

was in enjoyable as a romantic, like a story about two people, right? But the world that they built like really took away from the the movie. Uh it sure it made me at like all the time I was asking the wrong questions, and we'll talk about that later. But uh but the movie about two people falling in love and stuff, and like this um you know, romantic comedy, you know, uh misconnections and then the universe like throwing them together and getting into wacky shenanigans, enjoyable. Yes. And so for the acting, I uh I went into this movie thinking there's no way I could like this because uh Callum Turner's face looks like he was stretched in like a medieval torture device, like the Spanish Inquisition rolled in and like grabbed his face by the right behind the ear and like yanked it. Like Odysseus's bow. Yeah, it look it was like in Beetlejuice when they do the transform scene, the trend the ghosts like transform their heads. That's what his face looks like, and it's fucking crazy. And I was like, I think there's no way I can get over that, but in the end I got over it, and uh I enjoyed uh the chemistry between Monica Barbaro and Colin Turner. I thought it was really good. I thought I thought they had excellent chemistry together. I thought it was a great meet cute. Uh I thought the acting was generally good. There were the side characters, however, I actually think Molly Ringwald and LeVar Burden did a bad job, even though even though I enjoyed it. I thought that their acting was incredibly stiff. It was.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

It was.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

Uh uh, but everyone else for the most I think I think I think Monica and Colin were great, and I think everyone else except Molly Ringwald and LeVar Burton were good. And so I'm gonna give this a uh 3.5 uh for acting. Okay. Uh yeah. I could I could see myself going up to four maybe, uh, but uh I don't know. I don't think so. Doesn't matter. Who cares? Yeah, okay. It's one night only. I actually like the line, you know, like tonight everything mat everything it matters tonight. I thought that was a good line at the beginning, you know, like uh the the the taking the time to appreciate stuff, but whatever. Next, cinematography. Uh I thought that the cinematography in this was good. I didn't think I didn't I don't remember any cinematography taking me out of the movie, which is uh surprising because like I'm a lot of movies that I watch, I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? You know, but that it had like a really good like variety of like close-ups and mid-shots and blocking and like all the sets felt real and the props. I think I think in cinematography, I think we've included this in other ones that the pro it's part of the props department, you know. The props department is part of cinematography, and so they had like the fake advertisements with in like the backgrounds and stuff. And I thought I thought the props department did an excellent job like making this world, this really weird world. Um, I thought they did a really good job. Uh and so and so for cinematography, I'm actually gonna give this a four. I you know the the cinematography kept me in the world and uh never once took me out. I don't think it was anything like um you know shockingly new, but it was like really well executed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For score, we we we alluded to this a little bit, but like the score, there's a lot of good songs in there. I like Sarah Borellis, by the way. Yeah, I really enjoy Sarah Borrellis. Nothing wrong with it. Yeah, nothing wrong with it. I listen to her songs all the time. I'm afraid, first off, like that's it's a comedy song. It's like from the show Girls Five Eva that she's in, but but it's like a it's she's that song is amazing. She's like bit she's like been up for like 48 hours and like is hallucinating and writing a song about why she's afraid, and she's got it's the imagery, and it's great. And uh yeah, great artist. But every every time, every time that a character stepped onto the street and like started to walk to a place, it was a new song just blasting in your face, and it's like it really wanted it, really, it was like so desperate to for the soundtrack to give a vibe, you know? Every time it's like the soundtrack is gonna drive the vibe. Here's the here's the song, here's the song, you know how the song when they move the song, and it's like, okay, God, calm down.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Yeah. Uh yeah, that's that's definitely how I felt about it. And it did take me out of the movie a couple times. We're just like, fuck. Just let's hang on a moment for a second without blaring. Uh, so I'm only gonna give it a 2.5. The reason it's not lower is because a lot of good songs. Yeah, a lot of good songs.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Yeah, yeah. But I did also put it in an album. I'm watching a movie.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Yeah, and actually, you know, her her like diegetic uh sound with the like with her songs in the in the movie, like her doing the advertisement songs and stuff. I thought that was a funny joke, too. You know, actually, I'm gonna give it a three because of that. I think that bumped it up just a little bit. Okay. There were positives and negatives. Normally I give it a three if I don't notice at all, uh, but but this one has positives and negatives, and so it's getting a three. Yes. Uh plot. Uh, the plot of this movie is fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:00

This was the world is so dumb. And and it and it doesn't explore any of the things that you would expect from a world where this is happening. You had already mentioned like sexual assault, but where are the orgies? Like, where are the uh, you know, someone invited him to a threesome right at the beginning. So so if that's if that can happen, there's gotta be fucking orgies going on where people are like, I gotta fuck as many people as possible and get as much, you know, I gotta get as many things in my mouth or or you know, uh inside me as possible in this short amount of time.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

Yeah, and and I think the lack of because they they were obviously it's rated R, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Because they put it's rated R, and we never saw we we do we see any tits? Maybe one pair of tits? You see? I don't remember.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

You see some side boob from Eloludin. You see some side boob, but that is it. They're like they they went with an R rating just so they could say fuck every once in a while.

SPEAKER_03 19:04

Where is my full frontal?

SPEAKER_00 19:07

There was no they didn't use it for full frontal, they didn't use it Where's man ass?

SPEAKER_03 19:12

Where's my man ass?

SPEAKER_00 19:14

They didn't use it to illustrate how like fucked up this universe would be. They just they said they strictly took an R rating just so they could say fuck if they chose to. And they didn't even do that a lot.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

It was everyone's was not horny enough for the plot that for the premise that they put out. No, it's not horny enough, and that you got some horny scenes, but it's not enough. Uh uh for that rewatch is a zero. Rewatchability is low, but uh for plot, so I the plot uh as far as as far as romantic comedies go is standard. The beats, the time, the pacing, it's really standard. And the but the world that they built is just insane, and it's just it's uh non uh what's the word I'm looking for? It's it's not it's it's illogical. It's not internally consistent. It's not internally consistent either. Yeah. And so it really it kind of drags you out of the movie. You know, every time I was getting like enjoying these characters and their interactions, like they'd try to give me a little more about the world, and it's like, well, that doesn't fucking make any sense. You know, it left me with all these questions that just what when I should be like really invested in the two of them, I'm like thinking like, what? Like, why why? No, that's not how that would work. People people would people would know by that time that you get fucking honeypot, like you don't trust some brand on a fucking app.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Like, that's that's nonsense. Both both Kelly and I were like, he's gonna get robbed. What is he doing? Yeah, immediately, yeah, dude. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Stupid and but yeah. And no, nobody bought condoms for like the 365 days before when they're super cheap, you know, when no one it's it's it's so dumb. It's so so dumb. So for that, I gotta give it a two. Uh, you know, follow the standard beats, and then the world brought it way down. I like a standard beat romantic comedy for the most part, as long as it's not like sexist or racist and shit, which they also most of them are. It's yeah, they often they often fail this random test where it's like, don't be don't try to beat up on any group during your romantic comedy. And it's like, but we have to. Yeah, no, we're going to.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Thank you.

unknown 21:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

And this movie doesn't do that. If if they'd just not built a stupid world about it, this would be a great movie. Uh but they did it, they they did a bat on that one. And the rewatchability is pretty low on this one. I'll probably watch it again because um uh because Cheryl'll probably enjoy it. Maybe I can, you know, maybe it maybe it'll get her all all fired up and uh could get some one night only out of it. You get some one night only out of it. And uh so I'll guess I'll give it a two for that reason. We'll check it out.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

She likes cerebrellas too. So hey hey spray she's been bringing couples together since the 2000s. So uh so uh for my quick calculation that is a 2.9 round up to three okay all right um for me yeah uh so acting here you know I thought everyone did a did their j except like you said uh Lavar Burton and Molly Ringwall they like because even even the side characters we were encountering were were were bringing it even even like the two door girls were yeah they were hilarious I liked them a lot yeah but like you know but like normally when you get like a little side character like that who has just a couple sentences

Ratings Round Two And Plot Red Flags

SPEAKER_00 23:11

you you could tell the the you alright just say your line but even the door producer's child yeah but the door girls no that we just got that with fucking uh Maya Hawk but the door girls even the director went up to them and like look you guys are working on one night only you're a little irritated you see a cute guy he's kind of dumb like and and you could feel like everyone except Molly Rainwald and Lamar Burton I I bet you what it was was Molly and LeVar were like no I've been at this for a long time don't fucking give me notes fuck you you're lucky I'm in this that was it was just it was just it was just for millennials and Gen X I guess more than millennials Gen X were teenagers around Molly Ringwall and Lavar Burden time but it was just what we were Gen X were Gen X were oh yeah yeah Gen X yeah that that's a Gen X thing yeah there for sure yeah Gen X uh it was it was there for them and I did see like a bunch of like you know 50 somethings in my theater but there were also a bunch of young people too um but when like Molly Ringwald and LeVar Burton came on like each time one of them came on screen yeah yeah there are a bunch of people going oh you know and it's like all right I guess cool good King Tank.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

People people let people I know that person and that's they're just excited about it and that's all that was well I mean he taught a lot of them how to read so well I think he did a bad ass he did a bad fucking job.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Yeah and meanwhile Molly taught them that it's okay to settle for fucking uh uh uh bender from what was judd uh judd nelson it's okay to settle for Judd Nelson is that the case I thought she ended up with the she ended up with the jock in in uh in sixteen candles yeah yeah she ended up with the jock guy talking about Breakfast Club oh oh wait did she end up with Judd Nelson and yeah oh oh yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah right right bender yeah yeah my bad yeah I was thinking the wrong person I was thinking of Anthony Michael Hall who was uh yeah who ended up as the mentalist or whatever I can't remember oh no dead zone he was dead zone dead zone yeah he was dead zone which was bizarre too that was very bizarre it sucks like because he he spent his whole youth as the young nerd yeah and then when he became not that like he could have done other things he got saddled with dead zone and then was never never able to escape it I like dead zone I watched I watched the shit out of that when I was a teen I mean I prefer Christopher Walken but uh haven't seen it I heard it's good though it's anyway it's long uh anyway um yeah little side a little a little side rating for you guys Dead Zone Stephen King uh 2.5 undisputable now for me here on one night only uh yeah except for those two acting very solid um I'm gonna give acting yeah no and uh shit they they even played into it even when when the our two main characters were like when uh Owen was drifting into cringey it became part of his bit and he pulled back and that was the joke he was doing it on purpose and like it saved it a few times and yeah I do think I think they're very good actors I do think that um his spatial structure doesn't support a six percent body fat he should probably let himself fill out just a little bit maybe a 10% an 11% um just to give himself a little a little filling apparently dua lipa likes him so yeah so yeah he's what do we know what the fuck yeah he did something so good for good for him good for him yeah acting uh I'm gonna fuck it I'm gonna be generous uh I'm giving it a four nice everyone here was good everyone did their thing it's not stretching it's not a 4.5 because there was nothing that was incredible like there was nothing that was just shy of missing its moment and obviously there was no reads in here that would ever come close to touching a five but right every like even her friend in the beginning was doing great and and so I think it's rare I see a movie where King Princess yes where every single person brought their game except for LeVar Burton and Molly Rainwald. So for that I give it a four uh cinematography again very yeah like you said it was it was very competent uh there were even some fun shot scenes like when she's fleeing the police uh naked and just like even that was well done they had the first person view of the cops like yeah it was good yeah that was that was with their flashlight going going across that was good that was good when um uh Allie went into like some of these dudes apartments who like you can tell that they were full of it the shots and the way that they portrayed the homes the homes were empty the like the shots were empty and so it was of again very very competent like there there were people on this set I don't maybe they didn't read the script they they thought that they were gonna shatter this where they thought something was coming from it and so they a lot of people were bringing their A games in this uh this cinematography as far as romantic comedies go especially I'm I'm gonna give it uh I'm gonna give it a four I'm gonna give it a four nice yeah it's that's high rating yeah now score they I wanna see you be rave maroon five uh the they like they they were like taking the old rom coms of the 2010s and just like on the record and putting them on for us and every 30 seconds there was a new song that just cracked you like a baseball bat to the bridge of your nose and it was too much it was too much some good jams though some good jams you know if if I wanted to put on an album we I'd be in the right place but I'm trying to watch a fucking movie here can we chill for just a minute Allie did have a theme song that I liked and I actually noticed but I think I noticed it more because it was a break from the onslaught of commercial romance music like oh thank god what was her what was her one I missed it no it's just like a it was just instrumental or yeah it was instrumental yeah oh okay yeah it was it was original just gentle keys that uh with with a synth um and when that was on I'm like oh thank god it was like coming up for air and and so yeah like we when we don't notice the soundtrack we generally give it a 2.5 when we notice it for good things it starts getting up there but when it hits us bad it it brings it down a little bit so uh good songs too much too overhanded uh salt is awesome but you don't fucking dump the mortons in so for that I give uh the score a two two yeah yeah you don't dump the morton also because Morton is twice as salty as other kosher salts always go with diamond crystal I'm telling you there's just a tip as a person who cooks with salt who does a lot of barbecue diamond crystal kosher if you're looking to salt your meat or whatever to get to to do like a a dry brine or something diamond crystal not morton's and it's also a good chance to get your iodine in so I always diamond crystal does not have iodine well you gotta take the good with the bit um I'm always worried about nuclear attacks so I'm constantly taking pills so it's yeah to salt tablet yep uh plot so yeah this plot we we had a very competent uh follow the beat like it followed the beats to it so well that when I realized that she daydreams yeah and she was having a daydream where the ending we're waiting for is happening I'm like no you're still

Golden Path: Dating Fatigue To Fascism

SPEAKER_00 32:03

missing two beats before that's allowed to happen she's daydreaming and then she's daydreaming.

SPEAKER_03 32:08

Yeah like it got me really you could literally tap your foot in time to this movie and so when that happened I'm like no you haven't hit the all is lost yet I was really hoping for I I was hoping that was real and then the end really fucking pissed me off after that. We'll get to it in Golden Path.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

No that's when I was hoping that the police would step in for some reason and we actually we'd encounter the the fucking shitty universe we're in that everyone just seems okay with yeah but yeah it was just yeah just yeah you could tap your foot to this beat and but which is fine you know you go into a romantic comedy looking for that you know you're going in there you're gonna see these two people keep like brushing each other blowing each other off uh pissing you off and you just like fuck already and then you and the person you watched it with you guys go home and fuck and that that's the point. I get it cool but then the plot was brought down by just this universe they created that and the conclusions the characters came to and then the conclusions yes and and so for that I'm actually gonna bring the plot down on this one to a 1.5 that's fair you know because I there's parts of this where I feel that the the plot is dangerous.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Yeah like dangerous especially at the state we're in right now they literally say maybe the fascists got this one right in the movie they say that line exactly and then the the the sudden flash of uh Sydney Sweeney and like that there was there there was a lot of bizarre little uh little things here where and then glenn glenn poell is is a blonde uh he's like an Aryan dream also and they flashed him on screen yeah yeah there's there's a lot of a lot of weird a lot of weird with this so plot 1.5 kept up by your uh a well done romantic writing rewatchability you know i if uh you know if the girlfriend wants to give it another watch and we're just chilling that night getting drunk or whatever yeah just skip forward to the pizza scene yeah just yeah I'll just fast forward to oh some side boob la bar yeah la barburton in uh bubble wrap I guess we did get a little bit of man ass in that scene when when the one guy was escaping yeah yeah when he jumped off yeah we got a little bit of man ass also also when Molly Ringwall and LeVar Burn come out and bubble wrap we got to see uh Colum's ass as well a little bit yes yeah a little bit a little bit um and you guys could actually listen about all of that on high and dry skins our other podcasts um it's mostly man ass where we just tell you all right at uh 2134 we got three seconds of man ass enjoy um but uh yes rewatchability I'll give it uh I'll give it a two okay all right calculating calculator not responding it's frozen you gotta kick it too many big numbers in there so it comes out to a 2.8 uh which of course we round up to three so close to rounding down real close to rounding real close saved saved by saved by a five a four instead of a three point five at one point yeah so so so one night only gets a three despite its pro fascist message yeah yeah but I mean yeah audiences aren't going to aren't going to pay attention to that mostly like that's not what audiences are there for it the problem is it's a little normalized to the point where it's like just let it be a little fascist well let's it's time it's okay to be a little fascist here and there and say that they're doing things right it's alright it's alright it's all good well it's time then to uh take our final toast look you're being too sensitive you know what's wild though is that uh jackasses today are like especially from where I'm watching these movies right now are sitting in there going this shit is so woke the animal I gotta this movie is so woke the the the crowd right now that's anti-woke is gonna see this and go like this is just so fucking woke like we saw same sex kissing we saw uh you know fuck the mandate in there all those sorts of things but then everyone goes along with the mandate we only saw two people go against the man they don't possess that one person go against the mandate they don't possess that level of critical thinking to this this is a woke film this is a woke film just by the simple fact of it being romantic comedy the only person who who went against the mandate that we saw was one old man who said that no one would ever the world ever wear fucking condom yeah yeah it's very funny well here's to that guy here's to the one rebel cheers cheers so golden path huh yeah I mean so this was this was fucking pro-fascist propaganda it was it was definitely pro-fascist propaganda that was wild so here's the thing so I can tie this directly to our current culture like I can see the I can see the path that this took not just for like people that we know are like fascists like like conservatives who like want democracy to die and like want to no no this this was designed for you to just feel okay with these changes like yeah it's a little quirky but you're gonna be fine you're gonna be fine we're gonna give you that day sure but it also resonates with people who normally wouldn't consider themselves to be authoritarian or consider themselves to be like right wing or consider themselves to you know for for a lot of these things they consider themselves to be liberal or progressive or uh you know social have social justice in mind and things. This this was still and I can see why this still resonates with them I can kind of track it through modern history. So part of this um you know part of this movie is tangled up in like dating apps. Right? Like we we saw dating apps like multiple times in this movie and uh those dating apps uh were like a streamlined version of ones we have today which is like okay it's one night let's fit let's let's figure it out and and the conversations that they have about dating in the beginning and finding like scrubs for multiple years like guys who did not please them or were weren't weren't uh weren't fulfilling connections is like is specifically mirroring like dating nowadays it's it's a it's a it's definitely a sentiment that I've heard a lot online and in person from friends is just that like dating is fucking awful nowadays and uh and nobody wants a real connection and it's all hookups and and you know I was definitely lucky to get it out of my system like 10 years ago when people when people were just like you know what how about we all hook up you know and and it was kind of like it was a pretty good time where everyone's just like yeah you know fucking hook up golden age it was it was a golden age where everyone was generally pretty happy with the situation. Nah not everyone some people were still upset but but that persisted for so long that people's people's kind of you know uh feelings about it turned to really negative and so so those people who who are feeling like this fatigue with like the uh what's the word I'm looking for the shallowness of of dating in the modern age the answer is fascism uh the the answer this movie presented was taking your time to get to know a person and like not just rushing into things and like seeing like admitting that uh you know there's a value to to like becoming close to someone before you take that step to sex instead of just having sex and then that is that is over. You know the one person says the build up is really you know you know really makes sex feel better for them more more connecting and the other person really enjoys the after the sex where they feel connected and uh and those two are those are two main characters who aren't like you know sex is so important you know and they choose to delay sex to it to fortify their connection first and and that's obviously that's something that conservatives have been saying is don't have premarital sex or whatever you know and and and and shit like that for a long time but it like really commingles with like the what you would say is like laissez faire kind of uh approach to dating nowadays which is like whatever goes you know there is the the connections are really tenuous you know and so I can see where it tracks and this is really definitely a place for fascism as a plot device to weasel into your yeah like hey you're feeling you're feeling alienated from dating life which a lot of people are and it's understandable and they're like well here's the easy answer just come on over here fascists love easy answers.

SPEAKER_00 43:12

Yes here's the easy answer we have the easy answer for you we're gonna get you biochipped and you're gonna only premarital sex once and you can tell right away like my first hint that this was just fucking fascist propaganda was on the news the uh when they're they're talking like they're kind of world building a little bit teen pregnancy was down to like zero which is bullshit is absolute bullshit because right now teen pregnancy is like at the lowest it's ever been yeah and that's driving these fascists crazy they want them pregnant yeah and like no that's not true and this is right now are lower than they've ever been yeah and and that's because of education and then that that's yeah that's because of you know we that was that's left over from the woke society air quotes that we're escaping from that was built in the nineties and two thousands And uh yeah, no, teen pregnancy would be at all-time highs. And you think you think cops would be able to respond fast enough to teens having sex? Not a chance in fucking hell.

SPEAKER_02 44:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

I yeah, I don't know if he had well. I mean, if you're listening to High and Dry, you had premarital teen sex, so you guys know what I'm talking about. Um, it lasted 10 seconds. Cops don't have that kind of response time.

SPEAKER_03 44:42

You know what's great is I and and you know, I say this anecdotally, and it's not meant to be a brag, but like the the first time I had sex, like I had I had masturbated that day. And so, and so that was my trick. I didn't know. I didn't know that I was going to have sex that night, and I had masturbated that day. And so I went for like 40 we listened to we went we listened to the white stripes, and we got through a whole disc of the don't don't move don't she she loved white stripes, and so we put on white stripes with the beat too.

SPEAKER_00 45:20

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

SPEAKER_03 45:23

I was not my choice, she really loved my stripes, but I went for like 45 minutes and it was dope. It's hard to come to Jaguite. Not for her, like I managed, I managed to on my first time give my partner an orgasm and last for a long time, and I was like, holy shit, this is awesome. I'm awesome. And if it was my first time was fucking great.

SPEAKER_00 45:43

So that was that was my that was my trick. As soon as I realized that, oh shit, I'm about to fuck, I would go use the bathroom and I would rub one out real quick. And

Teen Pregnancy Claim And Real-World Logic

SPEAKER_00 45:55

back then as a teen, you it doesn't matter. As soon as she tried to get it.

SPEAKER_03 46:00

Yeah, I'm I'm ready to go again. Um so I was bad. My trick was just to masturbate all the time. Yeah, just be ready for sex anytime.

SPEAKER_00 46:10

I I would run to the bathroom um 30 seconds before I'm about to go upstairs, take out that you know, fire off that uh the warning shot, and uh I'm good to go upstairs. So that was my that was my trick. So teens listening to High and Try Podcast. Masturbating. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, uh you know, blow out the easy one and uh yeah, work work off of your second round, and that's gonna give you that that stamina.

SPEAKER_03 46:41

We support teen teens masturbating.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

Yes. I never want to see it, I want nothing to do with it, but if you as a teen are gonna go have sex, fire off the easy load, and uh you'll you'll have a lot of success with that. So there you go. I feel like a father to our listeners now. So uh, but uh yeah, as soon as they said teen pregnancy is down to zero, I'm like, bullshit, no, it's not. Every time your guys' policies take over, teen pregnancy goes through the roof. Back alley abortions go through the roof. This place would be a hellhole. And but but they because if they got us all to insert fucking chips into our wrists to watch us have sex, they've abortions gone. That's not a thing anymore. All these things are gone. Right. They won. That's like the end game. Um, so this place is a nightmare. This place is a fucking hellhole.

SPEAKER_03 47:45

You know what would happen is divorce rates would skyrocket as people just got married just so they could have sex. And like literally, literally, did that with the oh well, yeah. I'm sure it would be. I didn't know if they said that in the movie. But it would be, it would be totally. Um, but no, there's no way. There's no way this could be enforceable. They would be putting half the country in prison, which fascists want to do. They totally want to do that.

SPEAKER_00 48:14

Prison is a moneymaker, so they would just be making money off of the prisons.

SPEAKER_03 48:19

There's not enough, there's not enough of that in this movie for this crazy awful world they built.

SPEAKER_00 48:25

No, and then they sort of just um they they try and humanize it even further. The the back and forth with the police didn't serve to poke holes into the world, it just served to say, like, hey, we're all in it for a pension. We're powerless when the government decides to do something like this.

SPEAKER_03 48:45

I'm just following orders, and you're and the audience is supposed to go, okay.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

You're just following orders. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:53

I remember how historically that argument is valid.

SPEAKER_00 48:58

Yeah. No, we we just we tend to forget everything we learned over the past 50 years. Yeah. Um, and we have to relearn it all over again.

SPEAKER_03 49:07

I wonder if this is all like all of this is a critique and it's actually like point poking fun at the eye. Did Paul Verhoven direct this? Hold on a second. Will Gluck.

SPEAKER_00 49:21

This is part of the uh this is actually uh a prequel to Starship Troopers.

SPEAKER_03 49:26

I wouldn't be surprised. Uh like because it's like so oh no. He actually wrote a bunch of other like really problematic ones. Easy A. Oh he directed, he directed Easy A, Friends with Benefit. That one's bad, that one's not good. Yeah. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:48

So he's just that guy.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

Yeah, he just has probably super problematic. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

They I mean, they just they were looking for they didn't want to go one step further and uh fucking hire uh what's his name, Bret Ratner.

SPEAKER_03 50:06

Yeah. Yeah, it was someone who openly sexual assault sexually assaults people. I'm reading here that uh that fucking Will Gluck removed the nudity from this movie, quote, because people dislike sex on screen. Fuck you, Wil Gluck, you dork.

SPEAKER_00 50:27

I'd like to change my rating. Uh cinematography is gonna go down to a two for me.

SPEAKER_03 50:32

All right, yeah. Cinematography's going down to uh to a three for me, two for you. Hold on a second. Let's go ahead. Let's go ahead and roll that back. Roll that back. All right, it's a 2.5 now.

SPEAKER_00 50:46

There we go. There we go. That makes sense. We had you there for a minute, um, didn't we, audience? You're like, wait, what? When did Hyde and Dry become so easy on people? We were just fucking with you. We're going with those romantic comedy beats. The all is lost moment hadn't happened yet. Right. We we had to bring you up to Mount Doom and then bring you back into the Shire.

SPEAKER_03 51:07

So classic romantic comedy between Frodo and Sam.

SPEAKER_00 51:12

Yep.

Nudity Debate And The Rating Fakeout

SPEAKER_00 51:13

Yep. Just uh just a richer privileged guy in his gardener on a road trip. Nothing but dudes. It's uh it's a sexy film. It's a sexy film.

SPEAKER_03 51:26

As Frodo gets more feeble, Sam carries him around. Yeah, just because he loves them just so damn much.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

Just with all the bare feet everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 51:36

Oh Quinn Tarantino loves a sexy film.

SPEAKER_00 51:44

Sexy film. All right, so it's time for the third part of this fucking thing. It's time to insert ourselves into one night only. How does one night only change when you insert yourself?

SPEAKER_03 52:02

So, you know, I think it's when if I was to insert myself in this movie, it'd become a fundamentally different movie because I don't, you know, I'm not fatigued by dating or whatever. You know, I have a long-term partner, you know, before that, before, you know, for a period when I was with my long-term partner, we were having casual sex with other people and you know, joining each other in you know, group sex, and it was it was an enjoyable time. And so for me, I don't have this fatigue. I I don't the the message of my story isn't we need more connection, like connection's impossible. I met my wife on a hookup app when we went to we went and slept together and then fell in love. You know, we had no intention of doing so. Yeah, so for me, like this movie would not have the same ending, it would be like you'd hook up, fall in love, and yeah, you would be the two, you would be her friends. Yeah, it it would we we would we yeah, I I would have it when the if I was if I was the main guy, if I was Owen, I would have been in that threesome. I would have, I would have that I would have been like, let me get your number, you know, like where the shit like everything's important tonight, I make that pizza fresh. You want to join us? I'll be like, give me your number, and you know, we'll we'll see, we'll figure it out. I'll talk to I'll talk to my girlfriend, we'll figure it out. And uh keep it in your back pocket, you know, because uh because maybe your maybe your girlfriend breaks up with you because she wants to bang her cousin or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 53:40

Which seems to be happening a lot in this universe, so yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:44

Which is which is wild. It destroys relationships more. Like it's really obvious that this kind this thing destroys relationships more. So my movie would show a show those relationships of those people in this world being absolutely destroyed, and people who were following their own natural connections, however they choose to connect, would be succeeding, you know, and and that's not how that's not what this movie said. This movie

Self-Insertion Cut Turns Into Revolution

SPEAKER_03 54:11

was like you can't control yourself, and so you need the the government to put separate.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

The government to tell you how it works, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:19

Yeah, and no, in my version, you know, people would be openly defying this all the time because they can't all get arrested, you know, and uh there would certainly be people who are pent up from not having sex for a year being violent and shit. Uh absolutely. And uh uh I would get in um I would I would I would fuck my mom Molly Ringwald.

SPEAKER_00 54:45

And LeVar Burton would be there, obviously. Just popping bubble rabbit.

SPEAKER_03 54:50

I'd fuck LeBar LeBar Burton too if he wanted to. I don't know. I'm not gonna make him force him to it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it's on the table. It's on a table. Fuck King Princess also shot. I'd try to get all over everything, and I'd be like, you know what? Tomorrow we're gonna fuck too. I don't give a shit. Post post put up posters all around, fuck fest. 701, 701 a.m.

SPEAKER_00 55:18

The 701 a.m. fuckfest. Hell yeah. And well, so that so the 701 a.m. fuckfest is where our worlds would converge. Yeah, yeah. Because I I would just insert myself as the main guy here. It'd be quirky, it'd be fun, we keep running into each other, you know. The story would be exactly the same.

SPEAKER_03 55:45

Yeah. Until I'm the woman I'm I'm her, I'm Allie in this one. Until 701.

SPEAKER_00 55:53

When instead of dancing to a Cialis commercial, we're going to that fuck fest.

unknown 55:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:59

And you start banging on top. We s we bang on top of the lighthouse.

SPEAKER_00 56:03

Well, the cops show up. The cops show up and it turns into a standoff. They shoot you, right? Um, and this obviously this propels me now into this anti-fascist movement. I'm gonna grow a beard, start wearing a beret. Good. And it's gonna turn into this this massive like manhunt um of me, you know, just with my grill warfare against the United States government fucking along the way. Every time I'm gonna lure police into a trap, I'll I'll get my my levels up, I'll do some fucking the police are there, my guerillas, we just murder police, and it just turns into the revolution until finally the CIA captures me. They decide that I'm too dangerous to be left alive. I am on my knees, they have a gun on my forehead, and the cop who's about the CIA agent who's about to kill me, he's you know, him and I have fucked. And yeah, of course, he's got tears down his eyes, and I'm like, shoot me, you coward. You're only killing a man. And he blows my brains out, and my idea lives on.

SPEAKER_03 57:13

Well, he he thinks he blows your brains out. It's it's just ghost species. It goes through your left eye, and instead you end up you you end up with an eye patch. Oh, and the government, the government, you know, keeps it. It's like, okay, we can we can't like we tried to kill him and we can't kill him. We gotta pull him in to save the president. The president's playing crash on Manhattan, which because of the sex revolution is now a prison, and you become snake plus. It's all it's all just a lead up to escape from New York.

SPEAKER_00 57:43

It's just it's just an escape to New York prequel. Where uh me and the Duke of New York, a number one, eventually fight. It's wild. I've been Kurt Russell the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 58:00

That'd be a really funny backstory. That's why it's a prison island, is because everyone on Manhattan refused to not do the fun, like the one idol. They're fucking too much.

SPEAKER_00 58:11

It's like just wall it off because of my revolution. They just walled off New York. We have we have we got great pizza, good fucking. I'm Kurt Russell, by the way. It's it's awesome. It's awesome. The the whole I feel like the whole saving the president genre has really taken a hit in the past couple years. Because of because of the nature of presidents.

SPEAKER_03 58:39

I don't know if a lot of us want to save the president anymore. I think it's the internet because we all were able to like google like what did pres what do presidents do? Yeah, what do presidents actually do? And turns out turns out most of it is sign off on killing innocent people. It's like, well, fuck. Yeah, like what the hell?

SPEAKER_00 59:00

Do we need to save that guy? Nah. Nah. So um, yeah, so that's what I'd be. I would be that would be the uh uh the prequel to Escape from New York. And yeah, I would war against and yeah, it would be great. It'd be great, honestly. I I'd watch that that series of movies. So yeah, this is the New York game number one. Yeah, it's a fantastic film, fantastic film. So yeah, we're uh we're high and dry podcasts. Next time you're looking to watch one night only, just watch Escape from New York and uh you'll get the idea. You'll get the idea.

SPEAKER_03 59:38

Imagine just imagine that that's give it a back, give it your own backstory.

SPEAKER_00 59:42

Yeah, imagine it's a romantic comedy, and uh you'll be good to go. I'm I I'm your host, Ryan Baron North with me as always, James Croslin. Um, yeah, what was this? Uh one night only, 2.5. And it's more than you deserve. Bye. Bye.