High n' Dry Podcast

"Spiderman: Brand New Day" Verdict

Ryan Baron North, James Crosslin, and Luke Episode 123

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0:00 | 1:02:08

What Movie Should We Do Next?

Luke returns! We come in hot on Spider-Man: Brand New Day, from dumb jokes and drinks to a real argument about whether this is the best Tom Holland Spider-Man or a messy Disney machine. We land on a 3.5 and then dig into the deeper themes of isolation, self-acceptance, surveillance, and what it means to mourn people who are still alive. 
• our three-part review method and what we’re “bringing to the table” 
• quick plot rundown: forgotten Peter Parker, Gene Gray, organic webs, and too many converging storylines 
• ratings for acting, cinematography, score, plot, and rewatchability plus why our scores split hard 
• the Punisher and Hulk cameos, what they add, and what they dilute 
• “flock camera Spider-Man” and the ethics of mass surveillance by a masked hero 
• the Golden Path read: trauma, regret, growth, and radical empathy 
• mourning friends who keep living without you and why that hurts more than death sometimes 
• inserting ourselves into the film and how our rewrites change everything 



Support the show

Cold Open And Reboot Nostalgia

SPEAKER_07

Are you gonna be a little rusty, Luke?

SPEAKER_03

You know, it's like riding a bike, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01

You never really forget how.

SPEAKER_07

Mm-hmm. Yeah, once you've been a jackass on a podcast, it just comes naturally.

SPEAKER_01

Being a jackass in general comes naturally.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, yeah. So this is just giving it to the people.

SPEAKER_01

Diamond in the rough. You gotta hone it. You gotta shape it.

SPEAKER_07

Well, hey, everybody. Welcome to High and Jai Podcast. I'm your host, Ryan Barron North. With me as always, James Crosslin, and joining us after his uh trip, uh, he was on an Arctic research vessel. Luke rejoining us. And uh well, we of course are the only podcast keeping alive the fandom of the old show Reboot. Reboot. Reboot, reboot.

SPEAKER_04

I'm trying to remember what that one was.

SPEAKER_07

They were uh they were little computer programs whose job was to be the NPCs every time the owner of the computer turned on a video game. And if they ever lost the video game, they would all die, I think. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_03

I see that it's got it's on Tubi, and I have full control of the TVs at work, so that will be being played tomorrow. All four seasons.

SPEAKER_07

Like it's wild. The uh like the per whoever owned this computer never won a video game ever until the end when they finally won one, and like then it turned into this weird apocalyptic future. Like where the company inside this dusty fucking dell.

SPEAKER_02

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_07

Nice. It was bizarre. It was bizarre. It was on it was on the like the whole uh Toonami. They had some of that.

SPEAKER_03

What would you give about a five?

SPEAKER_07

I couldn't tell you. I get like weird fever dreams of it. That's uh that's a 2.2 for me. Well, but we are not actually gonna be talking about reboot all day. We're actually gonna be discussing a new film came out last week, uh, Spider-Man Brave New World Day, brand new day. Brand new day. Brand new day. That's it. Um,

Why Brand New Day Matters

SPEAKER_07

we're gonna be discussing that. We're gonna be doing it in a patented three-part method guaranteed to get you the best results for your podcasting book. First, we're gonna rate it out of five stars, get you the definitive score. It's inarguable after that point. Then we'll dive onto the golden path, and then finally, we will insert ourselves drugs and alcohol into the film. But what makes it so important and so, you know, just just necessary to media is that we're gonna be doing it drunk and or high or under various influences. So uh oh, Luke, welcome back. Uh, what are you bringing to the table?

SPEAKER_03

Um I can't remember what it is. Let's call it blueberry cush. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

That's mine for it. All right, that's what's up. But it's a strain, I it's this train from Colorado. I can't remember um which one it was, though. At all. Not even that clue.

SPEAKER_01

All right, James, what about you? Mine is a double brewed Kirkland brand French roast.

SPEAKER_02

Woo! I like that.

SPEAKER_01

Double shot in there.

SPEAKER_07

Bread dusting off the old uh tried and true wild turkey 101. 22 bucks. Three tails for about it. Oh, yeah, just freshly squeezed turkey. And I will be uh chasing that with more 101 and a little bit of Diet Coke, caffeine free. Because I care about my health, obviously. So, well, fellas, let's line them up. It's first toast, first shot, first hit. This one goes out to our newest listeners coming to us. We had a healthy month here, but we're looking at uh Killeen, Texas, Grusenheim Hoffrin,

Toasts, Strains, And Listener Shoutouts

SPEAKER_07

Camden back at us, Cheetah of the Transbical Territory, the Brazilia Federation, Transbikal. I figured it's like a biking community that moves through different municipalities. Magerfeld of Mid Ulster and Bradford of Bradford. So some very wonderful Bradford of Bradford. Bradford of Bradford. Um, some really nice VPNs you guys got this week. Thank you for tuning in. Very solid VPNs. So cheers to them. Cheers.

SPEAKER_02

Cheers.

SPEAKER_07

So last night I actually uh I was trying to do some drinking, and I opened this bottle I got from Walmart, and it was just uh I don't know, it was Knob Creek or something like that. And I open it up, and it's the first time I've ever opened booze, and it just smells wrong. Like it just smells like rubbing alcohol, like something is wrong with this. I still pour a glass, but eventually I had to dump it down the drain and uh rush order more booze from Walmart. Um but uh yeah, I and what was the official arrival time of the new booze? Uh 25 minutes. Wow. So yeah, not quick enough for me. No, no, I it was it was hard. It was hard. I was sober there for for about 20 of those minutes, and uh I didn't appreciate it. I didn't appreciate it at all. So second round. This one going out to Luke rejoining the show for us here today.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, cheers. I appreciate it. Cheers to me to Luke.

SPEAKER_01

Cheers.

SPEAKER_07

Have missed the hell out of ya.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we should go to his bodies.

SPEAKER_07

Well, you can always catch that on TikTok. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_04

Sorry, that one got me a little bit as it should, as it should.

SPEAKER_07

And finally, our final toast, final hit. This one goes out to our film this week. Uh Spider-Man, brand new day.

SPEAKER_00

Cheers.

SPEAKER_01

Finally, we got the trifecta again, so it's not just you know, Ryan and I agreeing or disagreeing.

SPEAKER_07

No, it'll be a well-rounded, which I think is appropriate. There's a lot of a lot of attention on this one, obviously. You know, um Zendaya just frowning in a new film, and we gotta talk about it. So who would like to kick this one off?

SPEAKER_01

She frowned a little bit, sure. Okay, she sure she frowned a lot. She'd be frowning.

SPEAKER_07

The woman smiles upside down.

SPEAKER_01

Uh I could go first, I don't mind. Yeah, please, please. Okay, so do you want me to uh you want me to do the summary? Yes, yes. Okay. So uh Spider-Man brand new day is the fourth installment in the Tom Holland Spider-Man MCU franchise. Um uh

Plot Summary And Wild New Powers

SPEAKER_01

this is following up on uh uh No Way Home, where he where everyone forgot who Spider-Man was. Um and so now he's living his life uh uh without anyone, everyone forgot who Peter Parker was. So he's living his life without anybody knowing him. He has no connections to the world, he's isolated, um, he's he's only being Spider-Man in a like asbestos-filled attic somewhere. Uh and he um and he's struggling with that as a new cr a new type of criminal is running super criminals running wild who can who can take control of people's minds. Uh and throughout that he's uh he starts to uh have headaches and have these like uh uh pains in his body that he doesn't understand. Um and uh you find out he finds out that he his arachnid hormones are are freaking out, and he's starting to become more arachnid-like uh biologically. Uh, and so he has to cope with the these changes to his body that are interfering with how he uses his technology suit because he's he's a technology Spider-Man, unlike Toby Maguire's Spider-Man, who was an organic Spider-Man uh who shot webs out of his uh actual body. Uh, you know, uh Tom Holland only uses the web capsules in other films. Uh but he starts to gain organic web shooters and his body, he starts he starts to get stronger and stuff, and and his spidey sense increases. Um but he tries to resist that and consults with uh the Hulk Bruce Banner to like develop an inhibitor, and so he uh and so he's like forcing this part of himself down. Uh we learn through all these travels and him running into his old friends who don't remember him that the enemy he's facing is actually Gene Gray from the X-Men, who is a supermutant with telekinetic powers or telepathic powers mostly. She gains telekinesis later. Uh, but in this one she's telepathic. And uh and that her sister, you know, we we think uh we think she's like this crazy villain at first, but then we learn her sister was kidnapped and tortured, and then she goes bananas and her powers are amplified just at the same time that Peter's like, maybe I gotta embrace my powers, and then he does, and it's really cathartic.

SPEAKER_07

There were 20 converging storylines. There were a lot of converging storylines, it's true. And we forgot half of them, and like yes.

SPEAKER_01

It looped back, it looped back around. We got there. Also, the Punisher's there, and it's played by uh played by what's his name? I forget his name. John Bernthal.

SPEAKER_07

They yeah, John Bernthal, right. I feel they they fucked Punisher so like he was a scene stealer, he was fun, he was enjoyable, he was a great actor, but all he served to do was display the absolute ineptness of the Punisher.

SPEAKER_01

He failed everyone's kind of like that.

SPEAKER_07

Like if you're not sure.

SPEAKER_01

The Punisher is a great failure, he was like put in place to like be the person you don't want to be.

SPEAKER_07

Like if they were trying to make him like stand out in any sort of way, like he was a hindrance to every situation.

SPEAKER_01

Um I think that's what the Punisher is. Like the Punisher is not like a person to be like uh he always goes, but I also think he goes into situations that he's not like these are super gross, like these are they have like superpowers, like you just you can't like he's just shooting at the Hulk, like it's gonna do like bravely. I think he's just like kind of just ignorantly brave. The whole point is to confront his limitations.

SPEAKER_07

That's like but historically, though, he's still very competent. Um, and I like I agree. Well in Punisher stories.

SPEAKER_01

Well, let's talk about some ratings. What do you think here? Okay, so in this one, so you know, I was interested after we saw the movie because uh I walked out of there. I liked this movie. I I really liked this movie. Uh I thought the acting was

Ryan’s Ratings And What Worked

SPEAKER_01

uh better than the other uh Tom Holland Spider-Mans. I think that this was probably the best acting of the Tom Holland Spider-Man. I think that uh I think that Tom Holland specifically did a really good job. I think uh I don't know if anyone else knew this, but Naomi Watts was the voice of his computer, and I thought she did a really good job. Uh uh, I thought that uh I did think that Jacob Battle. Oh, wait, no, uh, what's his name? John Bernthal did a good uh Punisher. Yeah, and also Keith David was the spider narrator, and I immediately was like, when you when you were when he was watching that uh in the background, there was that spider documentary going on. I was like, is that fucking Keith David? And then I looked at and then I looked it up and it is him. I see him on the cast list. I noted it immediately. Uh it was when the tarantula was like molting, uh, which also, by the way, I wish there was a molting scene in this.

SPEAKER_07

Like it would have been it would have been great to have a scene where he fucking shed his flesh or or there was literally a uh 90s Spider-Man arc where he turned into that fucking four-armed spider creature, and that's like what they were stealing from, obviously. But then they just sort of forgot about it, and then he like, no, I have accepted I am both when he's fighting mystical Asians, and even then, I wish there was a molt, even if they didn't go for spider person. If we're gonna do this, let's do it. Like, come on now. But he's just his eyes went black because I don't know, spider. And we also learned that he has uh feelers in his butt because he could stick to things via butt. That's true.

SPEAKER_01

How does he have spider? He's got those hairs all over him. Uh he just roll, you'd roll up a wall. But I uh yeah, I liked it. I'm gonna give this a four. Let me see. Note that down. Yeah, I thought it was really good. I was engaged the whole time. I never was like, this is stupid or boring acting. Uh cinematography. Uh I thought the cinematography on this was also better than the other ones. I felt like there was less clipping in the action scenes. I felt like the action scenes were less jumpy than they were in some of the other Spider-Mans, but not perfect. There was definitely so there was definitely still some really quick cuts and stuff. Uh but I also didn't think it was anything particularly special. It's the Marvel style of cinematography. Um, just just it's it continues to be iterated upon and gets better. Uh so I'm also going to give it a four. For the score, uh, I don't remember the score. So I'm gonna give it a three. Uh for the plot, so this is this one. I think I think this is where it really resonated with me, where I I think when a plot of a movie is good, it brings everything else up for me. I think that I think it really helps because I thought the plot on this was really good. Um, I thought the plot on this was a you know uh an enemy that Spider-Man had difficulty dealing with, first off. You know, it's it's Spider-Man, you know, likes to just face things head on a lot, where he runs and he's like, hey, I'm Spider-Man, fuck you! And then they have and then they have a web fight, and he uh he had quite a bit of difficulty uh with Gene Gray. Uh also I I just I really liked that this was a story, uh, and we'll get to this, uh, you know, we'll talk more about this in The Golden Path, but I really like that this was a story about uh trauma, isolation, uh isolation out of fear, uh regret, respecting and acknowledging all parts of yourself, growth, and radical empathy in the end. Like it was uh it was like all these things that it was it was a it took it was a lot of converging storylines, but they really brought them together with like this journey of psychological healing that is that I definitely uh it resonates with me. Um and so uh I I felt like they actually did a really good job hitting each of those steps. And when I left the theater, I was like, I was able to track each step, and I was like, okay, that was good, you know. So I'm gonna give the plot on this one also a uh four. And then rewatchability, I'll definitely rewatch this movie. Uh and I wonder how how good it will be on a rewatch, because uh, you know, no way home, like that one was a really highly rated movie. Uh because you know, with the first time you see it, you get all the Spider-Man come in and all the villas go. It's like, oh yeah, we get to see everyone again and all that. It's like, oh, big surprises. But when you but after the after that like surprise is gone, like the first half of like when when all that shit happens, it's like, oh my god. It nostalgia baits you quite a bit. That's what it does. Yeah, yeah, it nostalgia bases you and you're like, what the like this is so fucky then nothing's happening, it's just a bunch of people showing up, nothing's happening. And Willem Defoe acts well, but yeah, it's not, it's yeah, I agree that it's not as uh it doesn't stand up as well on the second watch. Yeah, not rewatchable. So uh so I'm gonna go ahead and say uh you know, I'm still interested in re-watching this though a lot. I'm still really interested in re-watching this to kind of track that that personal journey again. I definitely cried at one part too. So I'm gonna go ahead and give this a four. Okay. Good ratings from me.

SPEAKER_07

Solid ratings, solid ratings. Um, well, Luke, I'm about to rip this fucking thing up. But would you like to start or should we save the best for last? How do you want to do this?

SPEAKER_03

I can I can go because it'll be interesting, because I kind of have similar opinions to James.

SPEAKER_07

Well, then should we should we sandwich then? Because mine's gonna be vastly different.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, let's let's finish on a good

James’ Critique Surveillance And Disney Formula

SPEAKER_01

name, on a high note.

SPEAKER_07

All right, sounds good. Okay. Yeah, so for me, um, I hated flock camera Spider-Man. Uh-huh. I they they just fucking glossed over the fact that this dude existing in a universe of uh the Mutant Registration Act, the Hero Registration Act, all those sorts of things, just has a mass surveillance program across New York City.

SPEAKER_01

Well, he's not the cops, and he's outside the law. Yeah, and then the cops identity.

SPEAKER_07

And the cops are like, uh, don't don't don't tell me about that. And uh like, wow, holy shit, the police have more integrity than Spider-Man. That's fucked. And so I I was pissed off from the jump. Um, I was so pissed. And and I I I've already been interacting with you know the world about that. I'm like, I'm just calling him flot camera Spider-Man. And the Manosphere has come at me already, like it's just a movie. Stop taking it so seriously, it's not political. It's a superhero, it's fucking political. All right. The the in the comic book industry is based on politics. The X-Men are literally the civil rights movement. Spider-Man is adjacent, like, shut the fuck up. But for me, so walk in into the so I was already pissed. Um, and I there is multiple times in this movie where I'm like, how long is this fucking movie? It felt like the Titanic to me, except there wasn't a coherent plot. So uh for me, acting the for me, the the good acting came from Sadie Sink. I thought that she was fantastic. She was great. Um Tom Holland, you know, boring as wallpaper, and Zinde, all she does is frown. Um John Bernthal, I thought he was fun. Uh he served his Disney purpose, and his character was sacrificed on the altar of Disney to make this a fun, approachable project. I mean, but he did it a good he did it well. He did it well. He earned his paycheck, that was apparently much less than Zendaya, and I feel there's a huge injustice in that. But what are you gonna do? And so for that acting, uh Sadie pulls it up, uh, but acting, I give it a 2.5. Cinematography. In the beginning, when I kept seeing Spider-Man, he looked terrible. When when they kept showing him, when in moments where he was just sort of leaning on a structure in that Spider-Man way, and they were clearly using CGI. It reminded me of the Matrix 2. And it just felt so out of place.

SPEAKER_01

Um what what what format did you see it in? Did you see it in a regular format? Just laser. No, it 21 Plus. I I go through the bar. No, no, I'm just did you just did you just see it in a regular theater format, like laser laser at your I think it's Dolby. I'm pretty sure it's Dolby. Dolby would have reclining chairs and it's a reclining chair, and I get a drink. Interesting, because that wasn't the it's that wasn't how I had. That wasn't my experience.

SPEAKER_07

I I thought I thought multiple points. Like he just looked terrible in that first hour. I will say that maybe my my eyes readjusted the PlayStation 2. And because after an hour I didn't see it as much. I did feel that Tom Holland's gotten too bulky for Spider-Man. Spider-Man is live. He's a little dude. Um, he can't make these movements. Um but Tom Holland's gotten a little too big. He's still short though, which is weird. He's very bold. He should be Wolverine. But no, he shouldn't, because he can't act. So anyway, cinematography. That's true. Um I started watching MX-Men 97 when I got out of that theater because I was just dying for something from Marvel that I enjoy. And Wolverine sucks in that too. But anyway. Cinematography, there were some fun POVs of Spider-Man swinging through the city, which I really enjoyed. And there was a good back and forth that served well, like when he was adjusting to using his organic webs. So it that worked pretty well. But then other than that, it's your basic z Disney formula. So I'm gonna ding it for Matrix 2 graphics. I'm gonna put that at 2.5. Uh score, um, yeah, the score was completely unmemorable. And then the music that they did insert, some producer's kid made, and it fucking sucked. So for that, I will also give it a 2.5. Uh the plot, completely incoherent. Um, so many stories, like at once, and they Marvel refuses to just accept that Spider-Man is capable of existing on his own. He did not need the Hulk to show up. Uh, the Daredevil would have been more appropriate versus the Punisher because trying to balance Spider-Man and Daredevil, sorry, Spider-Man and Punisher made made Punisher unable to be who he is. Daredevil and Punisher work because they have actual theological conversation about the way the two of them approach things. And this movie was just too elementary for that to be introduced in a Punisher versus Spider-Man sort of thing. And so it would have been much more appropriate to have Daredevil because Daredevil and Spider-Man are a little more similar ideologically. Um, and then they introduce a plot of Spider-Man becoming the Spider, and then it's just wrapped up haphazardly when he's like, I am both Spider-Man and Peter Parker. And it was just totally unearned. Um, and there was just the whole movie to me felt like a commercial for the next movie, which I feel that Marvel just does all the fucking time. And then just and it just, you know, like a disclaimer, I am uh a more DC standing guy. I feel like Marvel is like, let's forgive the president, he's still our president. Whereas DC is like, let's throw Netanyahu out of the fucking sky. And so that just talks to me better than Disney does. I won't even call it Marvel anymore, because it's not. It's been co-opted by our corporate overlords. So I don't agree with any of it. Um for that uh plot, it bored the shit out of me twice, three, three times. I'm like, how long is this fucking movie? Uh I give it a two. Um rewatchability, no, I'll probably unless I'm forced to. I'm never gonna rewatch this movie, and so for that I give it a two. Like I like I'll do it before someone puts a gun to my head so it doesn't slip into the one territory. But I I'm not gonna do it of my own volition. And uh I I do apologize.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, so it is Luke's turn. Alright, well, uh disagree. So I found that this was definitely the best movie of the the four the four Tom Holland um Spider-Man of this franchise. Um I felt like

Luke’s Defense And Best Of Four

SPEAKER_01

it had the most to say, um, had deeper deeper meaning than just the other ones that are service level because I watch rewatched the um No Way Home recently, and I was like I was like, oh, this isn't oh like and I still enjoyed it, it's still a fun movie, but not a good movie.

SPEAKER_03

Um and I felt I didn't feel that way when I came out of this movie. I actually um thought it was very good. And when I when I saw the acting, I find Tom Holland to be very stale.

SPEAKER_01

And funny enough, when I watched, but when I watched the Odyssey, I even one of my critiques of it was Tom Holland, and especially the first 20 minutes of it. However, I thought he was extremely confident in this movie. Yes, he got better throughout the Odyssey, 100%. But in this movie, I actually found him extremely confident. Like he did present this. Is supposed to be like a a broken Spider-Man figuring out how to be alone. Because in this event where you had to be forgotten by everyone, the one person that was your person died, it would be earth-shattering. And I felt like he did he felt broken. Like there was a couple times in like the the moment when uh say uh Gene Gray had Gene Gray had hold of MJ's mind and kissed kissed him. Like the look on his face, I've met he looked betrayed, and I thought he did very well.

SPEAKER_04

And I everyone else I thought was confident, John Bernfall was good, Sadie Sink was actually very good. I thought she played a good young Gene Gray. Um and I, you know, for anything Florence Pugh is in, I have to give at least a four.

SPEAKER_00

So you know you slut.

SPEAKER_01

So hey, Florence Pugh's great. Oh, she's she was she was fun, she was fun. She yeah, she she's always fun. But and even the uh Michael Mondo, I'm not familiar with him, but Scorpion. I thought he was he was like a fun character. Um so yeah, I I really thought it was good, and I I would probably give it a uh yeah, 4.5. Um cinematography. They had some very cool shots. I loved the inside the goggle. One thing that I just was teased with though, is as his eyes were turning black, I expected us to get another inside the goggle shot with solid black eyes while swinging, and we didn't, and I was sad. Yeah. I wanted him to grow more eyes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, just grow more arms and a second dick. I I I didn't mind the fact that that that didn't happen, but uh uh double trouble.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, I thought the the cinematography was good, but I also thought, you know, there was a point where he was swinging with MJ, and it was literally just him going like Yeah, yeah. And I was just like, oh, I didn't like that then, but you could have done better. Like I've watched uh The Amazing Spider-Man 2 recently, and that was that you know, the the swing swinging scenes were actually extremely competent and fun to watch. So yeah, I give it a four though. I I still think it was like a very well-shot movie. It's like hard to like with the budget, like like James said it, it's only you know, it's Jane, it's Disney just stacking on their techniques, and I think it looked very, very good. And I thought this was a new director for this Spider-Man, which his name's Dustin Daniel Creton, and he should he did the Shang-Chi movies, and I liked those as that one as well. Yeah, same. So, and I thought, you know, it carried through here, so I give it a four. The score, you guys don't remember it. I actually do specifically, um, because I remember one time in that scene where it's what's it I can't remember the phrase again where it's like music that's used, but it's like actually in the movie. But it's the same thing. Oh, diegetic. Diagetic. So they did it again, and I just thought it was interesting. Like it like put Pan down and then showed like kind of a chaos of a party and like the music in the background, but then just played the soundtrack again over and just like I don't know. I I thought it was fun, and also they played Bad Bunny and it made Cam lose her mind, and I also like um I I do remember it and I thought it was good, but I don't think it was like what carried this movie. So 3.5. The plot, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I think it actually had a lot to say. I and I found it, it also felt rewarding in the sense of like I agree, it was kind of a gimmick.

SPEAKER_01

It's just like I oh now I can just control these powers, but I think it was a sending a message of you have to accept yourself, and and rejecting yourself causes more harm than it does good. Um it didn't come out of nowhere, they did telegraph it, uh all these parts where where they're like, you know, what I see is someone who's who's trying to reject something, and I'm not sure that might be a part of that. And Bruce and Bruce even Bruce said, you know, maybe you're trying to inhibit something that needs to be expressed.

SPEAKER_07

Yes, and and and they talked about it, and he went they went through a lot of steps to make it shouldn't have been there in the first place, and then like yeah, they did the a lot of good setup, but then they just like it it was like a weak ejaculation.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know. I didn't, I yeah, that didn't it I felt like they followed through with it and delivered it. I really do.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think every movie has to go to every extreme, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I maybe like I am so I I play like I'll pick up the Spider-Man video games, and a problem with Spider-Man is that he has the worst fucking villains. Like his villains suck. Vulture, Scorpion, Green Goblin was only good because Willem Defoe played him. Um but then he does this is a brand new fucking video game where the entire thing is mystical orient, where everyone who is Asian has magical powers, and like it and then that's that is reflective of reality. Oh obviously. And then I just saw it again here, and that's what they use to make him realize that black-eyed Peter is the same as normal eyed Peter.

SPEAKER_01

No, I think it's just accepting, I don't know, the gene in him. But yeah, I I thought I thought it was good, and I I really, you know, they set up, like I said, that kiss, it made me slide down in my seat. I went, oh my fucking god, I would shoot myself in the head. Like, I was like, that was like it hurt. I saw it coming. Yeah, I gotta say, I saw it coming. I just didn't, and then I also really when she says to him, she's like, I don't love you, I don't know who you are. Like, she oh my god, just like the way it delivered, it came across.

SPEAKER_03

I thought it was good.

SPEAKER_07

The plot was good, and and they probably aren't you guys sick of hearing the line, you're not a killer, you don't know me. We literally could have said that last year. Well, we could have done it line for line.

SPEAKER_01

It's a hero trope in Superman. I mean, it's a hero trope in everything. Yeah, that's what you don't know. They say it, they do it in the Superman movies. I don't know what you want, man.

SPEAKER_07

They do it, especially like he, you know, he had a comic camera Spider-Man apologists. That's what I'm hearing right now.

SPEAKER_03

Well, all I'm saying is I I enjoyed it. So the plot I would give a a four. I don't think it deserves higher than that.

SPEAKER_01

And then rewatchability, yeah. I'm rewatching it. I'm gonna rewatch it for sure. Um, I don't know if like this is an all-the-time movie because it could get it definitely Spider-Man has a way of doing that because there was one point, even the Hulk, like you didn't like him in it, but they did a good Hulk this time, and he became like an enraged Hulk and they showed his actual size.

SPEAKER_03

And when he seismic slapped, which is like a staple Hulk move, like and they haven't done it since the Ed Norton's Incredible Hulk. I geeked out a little bit, and I thought that was a lot of fun. And don't get me wrong, I it's annoying the cameo dumps that they do, but I didn't feel like they dumped him as much this time, and the Hulk one hit harder because of it.

SPEAKER_01

So um, but we'll see for rewatchability. But I'm definitely watching it again. So four. All right. Calculating doop doop doop doop doop doop doop doop doop doop. Hold on. Doop doop doop doop doop doop doop. All right, so it is a 3.4 rounded up

Final Score And The 3.5 Debate

SPEAKER_01

to 3.5 for Spider-Man brand new day. Fair. Fair. Median's a four, though. We are the truth. We go off a mean.

SPEAKER_07

We are the truth. So 3.5. 3.5. Well, there you have it.

SPEAKER_01

Congratulations, Spider-Man, brand new day. You got a 3.5.

SPEAKER_07

All right. Not bad. It's time to get on the golden path. It's time for one more shot, one more hit, one more whatever it is you do, one more pill. Uh for those of you guys driving into work tomorrow. Per chance. Pull over first.

SPEAKER_01

Why are you telling them to pull over? They gotta get to work. You're right.

SPEAKER_07

You're right. Yeah, so you guys in Bradford, Bradford, uh, just keep on driving.

SPEAKER_01

They're about to get they're about to get replaced by AI. They gotta get to work.

SPEAKER_07

So, here's to that. 3.5. Congratulations, Spider-Man. Cheers. Cheers. So, welcome to the Golden Path. Let's talk about the deeper meanings behind this film. So, honestly, so I will say, you know, that there's a lot here. They they did some fun stuff with grief and everything like that. You know, but I'm an anarchist and I was fucking

Golden Path Power And Accountability

SPEAKER_07

distracted by flock camera Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_01

And he he does he does kind of they don't address the flock camera specifically, but he does reject the structure of the police state at the end of the movie. He was like this or anything. Well, he did help them, but you have to remember people grow. And that's that's part of the movie is trauma, isolation, regret, acknowledging all parts of yourself, including the parts of yourself that fail and make bad decisions. I don't know, like and then radical empathy.

SPEAKER_07

I I feel like you are more forgiving on this one than you have been in the past in similar circumstances.

SPEAKER_01

I like Spider-Man. Exactly.

SPEAKER_07

That's that's the problem. It's the problem is that I like Spider-Man. No, the problem is that this is copaganda. I I made a comment.

SPEAKER_01

There certainly is I like Brooklyn 99 too. So I sometimes I like copaganda. It's uh it's entertainment. See, I'm also that's like working with the police chief is like a Spider-Man stable.

SPEAKER_07

Like that's what's all they did in this conventional. I'm not really a fan of Batman. Uh yeah, yeah. No, just my problem was with the mass surveillance, and this was like he's just like okay with it, and his entire setup, like he's lost all intelligence that Peter Parker is capable of by first requiring the Hulk to be there, and then second by just having AI literally.

SPEAKER_03

See, but the thing is I don't want the government to watch me because they want to do harm. I would I if Spider-Man wants to watch me so he can save my life when if they was getting robbed, I'm cool with that. Yeah, that's what cops say.

SPEAKER_01

The cops are lying too. I trust Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_07

Why? We the whole movie was about how he's vulnerable.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but everybody's vulnerable.

SPEAKER_02

He saved New York City, he's my so he shouldn't have that power.

SPEAKER_01

He shouldn't have that power. So what if so what if he has what if he has Professor X's power? Where it's literally not flock cameras, it's just he's born with it.

SPEAKER_07

We we saw what Professor X should have been put down because we saw because we saw what happens in the world. So Gene Gray should have been put down? I Gene Gray sucks. She her character blows, but Professor X, when he went senile, almost killed everyone. Sure. Yeah, it's not good. It's no good. And he is the he's the Martin Luther King to Magneto's Malcolm X. And in my opinion, Malcolm X was the dude who knew it was up. So yeah, put down.

SPEAKER_01

Magnito almost killed everyone on purpose lots of times.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Filthy, filthy humans, filthy fucking humans.

SPEAKER_01

The Republican Party is what he did. I think here's the point, you know, while we're on the golden path, is that organizational you can't stop individuals from having power. Individuals have power one way or another. There are disparities between genetics and uh and access to resources and all of these different things that that make up what kind of social, economic, uh, and personal, physical power a person has that just can't be controlled. Organizational power can be controlled. People can stop organizations from having power. And the thing about individuals having power is what you do is you hold them accountable, the individuals in the end. And part of that is like part of the thing in this movie where Jean Gray like has a bunch of power. She's trying her her best to do a thing. She's not destroyed her or she an organization that did this, you would destroy. But a person you don't destroy. You try to you try to heal the trauma, break from the isolation that they're feeling, address their regret, respect the part of themselves that they did not that they were not allowing access to before, grow, and then express radical empathy toward themselves and others. It's like it's it's a learning experience. Which is cool.

SPEAKER_07

If so, then then my requirement for that, if Peter Parker is gonna keep my face data all over the fucking place, I want his mask off, and I want to know how he's using it. Because we literally saw him almost kill a cop and beat the fuck out of the scorpion. But he should kill the cop.

SPEAKER_01

Like he's not even. You agree with killing the cops. Just wait till you watch, just wait till we get to how I'd insert myself into the movie. You would like you would like Punisher to kill all the cops. Why why don't you want Spider-Man to kill all the cops?

SPEAKER_07

Because he's sitting there surveilling me.

SPEAKER_01

So are so's the Punisher!

SPEAKER_07

Because we saw immediately that Spider-Man's first intention is to side with the government. Uh that's the whole thing. His first intention was to side with the government. They're just trying to help. They're just trying to help. He literally gave up Gene Gray.

SPEAKER_01

So I know this fucking moron. He did this gonna give me up.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I think one of the very obvious messages was literally it's not the people that are different that are bad. It's the government.

SPEAKER_01

It's always the government.

SPEAKER_07

I'm I'm glad that he learned that, but he already gave Gene Gray up. He already has my facial data, and he's just totally anonymous and gets to do this. He gets to run around, he gets to make calls, give me up to the government because of his flock camera bullshit, and then hopefully he learns a lesson in time before I die reading shit off the vents on the screen.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but the thing is I have a good lawyer, and that evidence is not going to be admissible in court. That's it's not like it doesn't matter. You guys know, oh my you guys know. Fuck out of here. That's the thing, is though, is that if we were to just say, okay, all people who are simps for the government are irredeemable. Like if we first off say that, that's like 80% of people are are irredeemable, then or whatever. Which is which is not true.

SPEAKER_07

No, you're the whole part of the totally redeemable, but I don't want you to have my data while you're being redeemed.

SPEAKER_01

He he can't do anything about that. He he's he's failing at first. No, he can't. But he's also being tracked. We live in a world where people are being tracked and literally nothing. And also one of one of his giant freaking conflictions in this movie is the fact that he wants to control everything, save everyone, and that's part of this whole flock camera thing.

SPEAKER_07

Like, because not all Spider-Man are this detail oriented, if you're which I would which I would be willing to accept if there was a Batman style Fox situation where he says, when this is done, we delete the program, or I will not work for this company anymore. This is immoral.

SPEAKER_01

Right. There was nothing stopping Batman from copying it or whatever and hiding a copy.

SPEAKER_07

No, and I don't like Bat Batman as a fucking billionaire. Batman's a billionaire. He's just a more exciting billionaire than Iron Man. Uh, but like there should have been in this story a part where they said that that is wrong. You should not be doing this. The cop brings it up saying, Yeah, I'm not, I didn't hear that. And then that's that's it. Spider-Man just gets to have all of our data and then figure himself out. And I I have this fucking incel virgin who's just dying for his best friend with all my data while he figures out his life and his spidey powers.

SPEAKER_03

But you don't know that he has your data. Like, no one knows.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. He's not selling it to anyone. You're watching a movie, you know? Like, yeah, it's cool. My data the moment he does. It's like saying, Oh, I can't have Alexa because they're listening to me. They're listening to you everywhere. Who gives a shit? Have Alexa turn off your lights with a fucking with the sound of a uh a snap of a finger. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_07

We shouldn't be accepting that though. This is just Disney propaganda. This is all just us accepting it. We shouldn't be accepting it. It's wrong.

SPEAKER_03

That's not the deep part of this movie. I don't think they brought that much into that surveillance. They were just like, oh, sick, he can save everybody. That's all that was put into that.

SPEAKER_01

He was literally like, I can't save everybody though. Maybe he has an opt-out system.

SPEAKER_07

Maybe you just didn't see that he has a do I get to click on the Spidey app and he doesn't get to track me. I'll just thank you. I'll just iPhone terms in conditions.

SPEAKER_01

All the villains just forgot to click it. Yeah. They're not super literary.

SPEAKER_07

I'll just stick with my basic overlords and opt out of private masked individuals having all my information as well. That's fair.

SPEAKER_01

I just I send all my all my uh all my data to Frank Castle and he protects me. He shows up and blows up my house and everything is okay.

SPEAKER_07

Well, but then you get the insurance payout.

SPEAKER_01

No, the Frank Castle is an act of God.

SPEAKER_07

Oh gosh. Well, what are the other points behind this film? Grief is bad? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it's not grief. It's the uh, I think that um there are, you know, one of the journeys I've gone through in therapy is like the recognition of

Self-Acceptance As Therapy 101

SPEAKER_01

of why you're doing things, like like who you are and why you're doing things. And you know, it's the instinct to when you uh when your perspective starts to change and it starts to affect you negatively, the instinct to like reject it, the instinct to to say that, okay, I am going to step away from all the the things that trigger me and and and step away from the people who trigger me and step away from the feelings that I get from that instead of uh instead of sitting down and facing those things and finding a way to uh uh incorporate them and overcome them in a healthy way. Like it this is this is this movie's like therapy 101. Yeah. And uh and it really walks you through every step. And that's what I found, that's that's what I think is the core of this movie and really relatable. Um, is is you know, the part where he acknowledges that uh spider part of himself that's growing. Uh, you know, they like I said, they they lead up to it a few times. And yeah, I think I think where there's the disconnect is that I didn't feel like it was unearned. I felt like it was him, you know, having to get his ass kicked a bunch because he wasn't accepting it first. Uh and and then event and then and then sometimes it's just that moment where you're like, I can't keep living like this. You know, things are not working the way I'm living like this, rejecting this part of myself and trying to force it out. I have to come to terms with it. I have to find out how to make it useful for me. Specifically, like part of part of my problem is that like I get this like anxious energy. And so a lot of times I it that makes me not want to engage with things. But I, you know, I've worked on visualization where I sit down and I like think about myself like on a boat on a river and think about the paths on the river, and I like drop anchor, and it's like, okay, I have time to like utilize the flow of this water. Where do I want this flow to go? What kind of result do I want from this? And it like lets me turn that energy into something good for me instead of something that makes me want to run away or fight or flight, you know. Yeah, and and and so that really resonated with me. Solid. So well, Luke, what do you what do you think?

SPEAKER_03

I also think the concept of mourning someone who's still alive. Because we like not only is he mourning his Aunt May, but he's mourning his friends who he can see are living their lives and happy, which is

Mourning People Who Are Still Alive

SPEAKER_03

a conflicting feeling because he obviously wants them to be happy, but you know, all humans are a little selfish. And I I thought it was uh I thought it was carried well throughout the movie. Like it there were moments I just I really was like, oh god, and I've done you know, it's similar in a breakup, you know. If you bring just a breakup with somebody and if you see them around, you're it's it's heart wrenching.

SPEAKER_02

I miss my friends!

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I just like him him having that same like depression and sadness for Ned, like morning Ned even, like him just hanging out with him like as Spider-Man, like I don't know. It was it was an interesting concept, and I um I thought it was it was good, and I hope that I liked that they kind of tied it off like the handshake at the end.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, yeah, oh thank god they're gonna power of friendship. Thank fucking god, thank god the power of friendship. I was gonna kill myself, uh, because you know uh because MJ had already shattered him.

SPEAKER_01

So I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

It was it was nice, and I thought that was an interesting concept that is is something that uh people probably deal with on a regular basis and and don't see a lot in movies. You know, it's easy to show sadness of somebody who's gone, but like what about when they're very much alive?

SPEAKER_02

They're right there, yeah, they're very, very much alive.

SPEAKER_07

So he should have gotten on Tinder. He probably oh yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Also, hey, by the way, blonde-haired girl at the door, Gwen Stacy, dude.

SPEAKER_01

Perhaps I think it might be Gwen Stacy. I don't know. She popped up a couple times in this movie. I don't think it was Are you talking about Apartment Girl?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Oh no, I think Apartment Girl was a callback to uh apartment girl for uh the original Spider-Man, Toby Maguire.

SPEAKER_01

I watched all the Toby McGuire's, by the way, this weekend. Okay, maybe yeah, I did. I thought that uh thoughts I thought one still held up pretty well, two, despite being higher rated, like on all the rating platforms, I thought it's really sucked

Revisiting The Tobey Maguire Trilogy

SPEAKER_01

in comparison to one tracks, and then and then three, I thought three was good, and I know three has like notoriously like was hated at the time, but I thought three was good, and I thought three was better than two, but I think maybe one was still the best. One and three had like more personal stories, like this where it's two, two was not as much of a personal story, it was about the cash. Two was a cash crab, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, but three was three was good, it went more campy, and uh yeah, yeah. And it also had it also had this problem of like trying to fight this feeling within yourself and not not attend to it, you know, not attending to yourself, yeah. Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_07

Well, any final points before we move on to inserting ourselves into Spider-Man until until we apart it.

SPEAKER_06

Solid, solid. I feel like if you get Chipka.

SPEAKER_01

No, no. Apartment girl is uh just it's someone I've never seen before.

SPEAKER_07

Well, I feel like if if Terry Marie Butler. Tom Holland let himself find Apartment Girl, he'd he'd be okay. Here we are. So he wouldn't have to. He'd open up your heart. Well, but it's also Peter Parker. Peter Parker uh didn't get broken up with a lot because he wasn't with a lot of people. Right. It's it's a muscle that you build losing a relationship. It's a muscle.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, also, also, Bryce Dallas Howard in sp in Spider-Man 3, she can fight it as Gwen as Gwen Stacy. Holy forget about it. Forget about it.

SPEAKER_03

Oh she is stunning in that movie, she really is.

SPEAKER_07

Well, with that being said, it's time to insert ourselves into a brand new day. Fellas, how does the movie change with the introduction of you? Should we just let's Luke, please?

SPEAKER_01

Uh, I actually so you you brought up that cop getting injured. Um, I found it absolutely absurd

Inserting Ourselves Into The Movie

SPEAKER_01

that that officer was driving a fucking Dodge Challenger through that situation at all. This is a dude with a bionical scorpion tail that you've seen what it can do. It's very clearly could injure people, and it's he's fighting Spider-Man. Let me fucking whip. That was her fault 100%.

SPEAKER_03

I don't even I would have gotten out of the car and been like, so here's I would have been in the car and I would have been potentially uh under the influence, and I would have been like driving through, fucking whipping it, and that would have crashed.

SPEAKER_01

They'd have been pulling me out and I'd be like, my bad Spidey, I I got lost. I, you know, because I should have never been there in the first place.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, and I don't know why that car that was such a weird thing to put in. I do agree that it was like uh it would it stood out to me.

SPEAKER_01

It was like the other guys when they drive the Prius into the crime scene and expose the cocaine everywhere. Like that car should not, there's no what were they even thinking driving the car into that?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, like that there was a barricade they blew through fucking 30 yards back. Why are you this far up?

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, that was uh that would be how I changed the movie. I would it would just be a swift apology to Spider-Man for being a dipshit.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, all right, solid, solid. Uh James, what about you?

SPEAKER_01

Uh let's see, who would I be? I would be the grandma in the tank as a near the beginning, uh, who got uh taken over originally. Um I would actually uh have I would be in on it a hundred percent. I would as the grandma, I would actually be in on it with Gene Gray, and they'd think I was just some grandma who was taken over, but no, I was just a distraction, and you'd learn that I was mystique in the end, and so I would add another another plot line about transformation, I would add another plot line about transformation, and I'd keep showing up in in different parts of points in Peter's life as different people that he knows, and there'd be two of us doing it, and then when he wakes up in that web, I'd rip his fucking exoskeleton off. And I'd make sure he molts. I'd be like, trans join us, join us, transformer.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, no, that that tracks. That tracks. Uh for me, I would be because like all this new version likes to do is uh introduce other universes and things like that. So I would be another universe, Spider-Man, who shows up. Uh I would I would dress more similar to like Scarlet Spider or Spider-Man 2099 because their suits fucking ruled. Or even uh Punk Spider-Man. I would do some Punker Man, yeah. Yeah, Punker Man. Um, you know, I I first I'd play with the costume. I would play with the costume.

SPEAKER_01

You'd spend the whole movie standing in the mirror looking at different costumes, just cut over to you with a different exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_07

But there would be a notable um addition, and that would be the 1911 pistol that's on my hip. So I'd be swinging through the city and pop it off. I I'd be swinging through the city, and I wouldn't be using any flock cameras. This is just all on me. You know, I have to make the determination. Uh saves three people a year. Yeah, I save a couple people, but no, I would save probably a lot fucking more because I would approach Scorpion. I'm like, dude, the fuck are we doing, man? You're not wearing a helmet. And he'd be like, and he'd be like, what are you talking about? Bam! Um and uh yeah, Scorpion's dead now. Um, and so that's done. We don't have to worry about it anymore. And then I would to my next adventure. And I would just kill all of the people.

SPEAKER_01

And I I would just it would create more problems. I want to be clear. There's there's different different problems.

SPEAKER_07

There's no surveillance going on right now. Me and the Punisher are just fucking cool. And there's no surveillance going on, and I'm just making these calls as a masked fucking vigilante. Just picture it's Spider-Man because he has no pockets, he just carries a desert eagle. Oh no, it's just right, it's just right there on my hip. I spent the first half of the movie choosing my outfit. And then Gunman.

SPEAKER_01

Just call me gunman.

SPEAKER_07

Call me whatever. I don't care. I'm gonna fix this entire universe right now.

SPEAKER_01

All I need's a gun.

SPEAKER_07

With the remaining bullets in this chamber. I mean, so like the thing about it, like I am a I am a comic reader. Captain America died from a sniper bullet. That's the thing about Marvel. All these problems are fixed by the Hellfire missile. When Civil War was going on, the United States government should have just bombed that parking lot. All problems over. It's all done. It's done now. Moving on. Um, they're all dead. I don't know.

unknown

Like, what?

SPEAKER_07

No, and then like when when the government's like, what if we created an impossible flying base? And like, no, let's just invest more into missile technology and stop that. You should be fired, Elon. What the fuck are you doing here? Um, yeah, it's not.

SPEAKER_01

You're telling me if what if something happens to one of these propellers?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, like are you out of your fucking mind? What if this crashes into a si you mora? Like and the the size of the propeller required to lift a base into the sky is absurd. Um, and so I would shoot him as well. The second bullet would go from me, gun Spider-Man, into the man who decided we should create a flying base. Um, and then I would swing away into the next problem. And and I would just correct the Marvel Universe with a single clip of a 1911 handgun.

SPEAKER_02

Sounds like a pretty good version, I guess. It's probably gonna get rated lower than 3.5, though. I'm not gonna lie to you.

SPEAKER_01

It's not the greatest movie.

SPEAKER_07

No, it's not the greatest movie in the world. But we've had a lot of not the greatest Marvel movies in the world. Let mine be the one that gets this franchise back on track. And and then at that point, Disney's like, all right, for this next movie, can this problem be solved by Gun Spider-Man? And if the answer is yes, they don't move forward. He's wearing a helmet. Fuck! Well, what if Gun Spider Man lifts the helmet? And then if the answer is yes, they change the idea, and eventually we get on to a coherent, logical storytelling method. And and that's what I will offer. And I'll do it, and I'll do it in nine rounds.

SPEAKER_01

We've it we've we've introduced anti-bullet man, just to be into bullets, and then I'll be like, what is this?

SPEAKER_07

DC. We already have him. Yeah, and yeah, so I'll just yeah, I'll just start shutting this universe down with the power of a 1911 handgun. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

All right. Like, see, see, I'd like to see it.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, and every movie that follows after me will be forced to use logic and will be a really good universe after that point. I will be the 1.5 movie that leads to a better Marvel cinematic universe. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It just it just becomes we can solve all our problems with guns. If we just give everyone in the United States a gun, every every man, every man, woman, and children's look what children, woman, and child gets a gun.

SPEAKER_07

No, like your guys' argument earlier for pro flock camera, as long as it's private, it's all good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Everybody gets their own private gun.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. None of this is problematic, none of it at all. Exactly. And there you have it, folks. Uh, we're high and joy podcasts. I'm your host, Ryan Barron Northwest and as always James Croslin. Welcome back, Luke. Uh, thank you all for listening. Uh yeah, yeah, take from that what you will. I don't know. Hey, I I'm appreciative. I'm

Wrap-Up And Final Laughs

SPEAKER_07

appreciative of a very strong like, hey, we haven't had a very uh like strong back and forth in a while. Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_00

Agreed.

SPEAKER_07

You know? So that was fun. That was fun. I enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_00

I was glad.