"Ladies First" is some Bullsh*t

We watch Netflix’s Ladies First and give it our locked-in star ratings before we get honest about what the movie tries to say about feminism. We talk through why the gender swap premise feels shallow, why the lesson comes too easy, and what a smarter version of the story could have been. 
• quick intro and why Ladies First is trending on Netflix 
• what everyone’s drinking and how the vibe hits 
• plot recap of Damien’s head injury role reversal 
• our category ratings for acting, cinematography, sound, plot, and rewatchability 
• why “role reversal equals empathy” doesn’t match real life 
• how the movie flattens microaggressions into throwaway jokes 
• what a matriarchal world would actually need to explore 
• our “insert ourselves” segment and the rewrites we’d rather watch 

Transcript

Cold Open And Introductions

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Alrighty. Alrighty. So here we go.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

We'll get this one in the Hurstry books. Lovely. All right. Hey, it's it like like all the episodes we've been doing recently. It's just good that we have a multicultural, multi uh uh religion group of men who get to discuss these things.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Honestly, for this movie, not that bad of a choice. We'll get into it, but yeah. Well, there's not much for women here. Well, hey, everybody.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

That's true. Uh welcome to High Drive Podcast. I'm your host, Ryan Barron North. With me as always, James Crosslin. Hey, seeing us on this episode, we have Kadarius with us here. Kadarius, how's it going?

SPEAKER_01 0:47

It's going all good, bro. How you feeling?

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Good, good, good. We're ready to do this. Excited to have you here.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

So uh I'm just here to let everyone know that I'm only here because of affirmative action. They needed a black person.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

It's true. It's true.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

For this movie, we're like, what do we need? A black guy.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

I don't think I saw one in the actual film. But anyway, so anyway, welcome to the assistant.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

There was an assistant. Assistant guy.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

That's right, Miss Moneypenny. Um, I know uh England has the same five actors.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

I don't remember anyone's names because I'm horrible with names in movies. But I know there was one black man and one black woman. They nailed it, they got him.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Well, hey everyone, welcome to High and Dry Podcast. This week it's the only podcast Keeping Alive the Fandom that is fucking what is that movie? The Rousters? I didn't know fuck that movie. No, we're gonna go keeping alive the fandom that is Dark Angel 2000 to 2002.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Oh, Dark Angel, Jessica Alba. Uh Jessica Alba on a motorcycle in a cat suit. That was the year 2000, baby, right around there.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

You ever catch Dark Angel there is?

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Uh I possibly have. Possibly haven't because I didn't maybe they took some clips of it and put them on TikTok.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

It's the uh it was definitely what brought Jessica Alba to the fore there for a minute. And then I think it was Fantastic Four that really took her out of it. Yeah. Yeah. That's when we're like, okay, that's she's nobody now, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:31

I mean, have you ever seen anything with Jessica Alba in a Canarius?

SPEAKER_01 2:34

I think the last thing that I've seen Jessica Alba in was that horrible spy kids, like it was like the fourth spy kids or some shit like that. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

There you go.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Yeah, easy come, easy go. So I mean, I'll just be it, I'll just be an honest. That was like the last horrid. Yeah, sorry, Jess, but uh anyway, we're not actually gonna be talking about you, just like the rest of the world. This week we are actually gonna be discussing the film Ladies First. Right now it's uh trending over there on Netflix, so you can catch it there if after listening to this you still choose to.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

I thought number four on on I was like, oh my god, that many people are watching this movie.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Yeah, so for those of you who are all yeah, number four, and for those of you who are all getting into it, welcome to a freshman foray into feminism, I suppose. But um well, we're gonna we're gonna dive into ladies first. First, we're going to give you the definitive rating out of five stars, guaranteed to get you the best results, indisputable. Once we give you a score, you can never be changed, except by us, of course. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. After that, we're gonna dive under the golden path and explore the deeper meanings behind this film. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

There's a lot to be said. There's a lot to be said.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Yes, but not because of the film. Well, anyway, we'll get to it. That's what the golden path is for. And then finally, we are going to insert ourselves, drugs,

Drinks And Toasts For The Ladies

SPEAKER_00 4:10

or alcohol into the film, and what makes it so special and fun is that we're gonna be doing it drunk and or high. So, uh fellas, what are you uh what are you imbibing this week? Kadarius, what do you bring to the table?

SPEAKER_01 4:25

What did I bring to the table? It was what I had in the kitchen. I was out of crown, so but I do have some Smirnoff, red, white, and berry. It's very very very summery drink. It has to be. Very summery drink.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

First day of June. Go ahead and bust out your red, white and below that. That's good.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Yeah, no, it just makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

It just makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

I can't remember what that's summer, baby.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Summer's here. Welcome to our summer episode. Uh James, what about you? What do you got this week?

SPEAKER_02 4:57

Uh I have a delicious quadruple shot espresso iced coffee uh that I've already been sipping on, and I feel like I'm going to be really legittery. I might be yelling about this movie soon.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

But I that's just fair in general. Um, and I'll be joining you guys with uh this one comes from uh James and mine old Stomp and Grounds of Las Vegas. I got Smoke Wagon.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Smokewagon. Smoke wagon, nice.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Smoke wagon straight bourbon whiskey.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Have you tried it?

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Is it is it smoky? Does it does it have a nice smoke to it? We're gonna find out because I'm gonna be chasing it with what I have left of my wild turkey 101.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Oh, yeah, that's your normal normally you chase liquor with liquor, so that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

It helps me get it down. You know how it is. And for those of you guys at home who are tracking my journey, I didn't drink yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Good. Oh, really? That's a that's a little bit shocking. Are you okay?

SPEAKER_00 6:03

No, no, I'm not, so let's get to it.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

Shaking all morning waiting for the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

If these drinks are so bad for me, how come it's the only thing that stops the shakes? Is what I want to know. So here's the first one stopping the shakes and quieting the demons. Cheers. Cheers. God. Smoky like an ashtray.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Yeah, that's the thing, is whenever I find wherever there's one of those smokes, it's like a bad smoke. And uh excuse me. Mike, the mic really got that one. Oh geez, my fault. No, it's okay. That should someone listening to this in their car, it just shut them fucking windows.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Oh no, it's this that that honestly it's good for this uh show. Uh this one is for the ladies.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

It's for the ladies. No. This episode goes to our newest listeners, who I have to assume are women.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Um and the assuming it's a very quick path to easy and real solutions.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

That's right. Well, our newest listeners coming to us from Queens, New York, and Worthington, Ohio.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

The two most different places in the world.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Queens, New York and Worthington. Well, here's here's to those places, and here's to the ladies.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Here's to the ladies.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

All right. Last shot, last toast, last hit. This one goes out to the uh movie this week. Do we have to? I'm getting the sense that this will be the last nice thing we say about it.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

No, I I got some nice things. I got some nice things.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

I am detecting. Here is two ladies first. Cheers. Cheers.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Oh boy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Yeah, the wild turkey is smoother.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

That's good. Yeah. Yeah. That dirty smoke. Seriously, like uh such a big difference. I've I've gone to restaurants like barbecue where they have dirty smoke, where they didn't let the wood burn enough before they let the smoke hit it. It just tastes like a campfire instead of having that really nice, smooth, smoky flavor.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Exactly. No, and this one it was like uh bowling alley ashtray.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

Oh jeez. Smoke wagon.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Brought to you by Smoke Wagon. Bowling Alley Ashtray. So, all right, boys. Let's talk about this film. So, I mean, James, you want me to do this? Summary first.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

Oh, you want me to see? Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll do something. Okay. So this movie uh starts with Sasha Barrett Cohen uh being a rich corporate dickhead. He's an executive at a marketing firm who traditionally marketing firms are filled with very nice

Ladies First Plot Breakdown

SPEAKER_02 9:20

and and uh you know very uh thoughtful, intelligent people. So I don't know how they got to this conclusion that he'd be a uh a dumb dickhead. But we we zoom in on him being a woman womanizer and manipulative and uh misogynist, and uh he's our nice little allegory for misogyny in the corporate world and the world at large in general. Uh he treats a woman named Rosamund Pike, she's the actress. I don't actress. I don't remember her character. Alex Alex is her character. Alex Fox. Alex Fox. Come on, yeah. That's right. And Damien and Damien was the lead. Those are the two names I remember. Yes. But Alex Fox, he uh has her promoted because her name comes up first alphabetically of women in the office. He treats her like shit. She quits when he disrespects her in front of everyone, and he hits his head and suddenly he's in a world where this movie proposes is what a world would be like if women took over the role of power, and he has to he has to learn to respect women, um uh supposedly, by being in their shoes, kind of. Uh and then eventually, eventually, kind of sort of learns something and then hits his head again and comes back to the world completely different person and is and is suddenly and is suddenly thoughtful and patient and respectful of women and an amazing ally. And and then the movie ends, and I swear like the beginner where I just skipped over everything, it's all bald dick and ball jokes, and there's really no substance there.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Yeah. Nah, you fucking nailed that one. That sums it up. That that sums it up. Well, we have a lot to like I'm I'm ready to tear this motherfucker apart, but we need to score first.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

So who was cool 90 minutes? That's what I'll say. Cool 90 minutes, yeah. Did not overstay.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

You know, it's just you're you were there, it was there, it was there.

Kadarius Scores The Movie

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Like it it tried. That's all I can say. It tried.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

It was a movie to movie. It was a movie. A series movie made it. Yeah. And I love how just like England has the same five actors in just fucking everything.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

Charles Dance is great, though. I like Charles Dance.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Yes. That was that that was a lot of fun watching him um be the sweater guy and not a medieval tyrant. So that was that was pretty cool. Right. That was pretty cool. Well, so I mean, Kadaris, did you want to start with your ratings right there? If you just want to run through on the side there, what you thought?

SPEAKER_02 12:19

I put this in the chat for our criteria, and it's gonna be a rating out of five.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

All right.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Each of these categories gets out of five.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

I I'm very familiar with your podcast. I listen to multiple episodes. Well, thank you. Yes, I I listen, I tune in, I tune in.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

All right, thank you so much. All right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean I didn't mean to assume. You know what? I'm gonna do a better job of listening.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

No, no, no. You gotta hit your head first. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Oh, sorry, sorry. What do you think you're doing? Yeah, you're just gonna listen now.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

But while we wait for James to regain consciousness and learn his lesson, Canarias, what'd you think? Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

So acting out of five, uh, I just they they were there. I just the acting was just very mid to me. It was very mid. I could definitely this was a Netflix movie if that just says anything. Yeah, so real. So I mean, acting, I'll I'll I'll give it a 2.5, and that's that's probably the best I could get out of me. It's right in the middle, you know. Yeah, it was like overblown, right? We've been saying mid. They were just there. It was like it's like there was nothing impressive, nothing stood out, it was just a typical Netflix movie.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

Um, cinematography, still the same kind of it was just nothing really stood out to me about this. Nothing stood out, nothing stood out, so I'm gonna give that like another 2.5. This is a middle. This is a mid-ass movie. Middle as possible. Score basic 2.5, you know.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

You didn't like all the music that was replaced, like all the gender swaps in all the music that women singing by men and then replaced by and then you know what, you know what?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Actually, like thinking about it loud. Because like I think I was too caught up in just how mid the movie was that I wasn't really fully paying attention to that. But that was it wasn't good.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Not saying it was good. No, I think it was a thing.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

I'll be a little nicer because I did like how they did that. I did like how they did that a little nicer. It's not a 2.5, I'll give that a three.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Okay. I did like uh I did like Lou Reed's Walk on the Wild side.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

No, you I mean, yes, it's a good song. Okay, it's a good song. It's a good song. Yeah. The fact James was like, no, you didn't.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

It's a good song. I I like Lou Reed. You know, totally misused.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

I'll I'll oh I can't wait to get it. Yeah, we'll get that's part two.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

That's part two. That's part two.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

All right. Uh for plot. I mean, overall, there's obviously a deep message that they're trying to convey here with uh they're doing their best. They're doing their best, but for plot, you know. Two point five. I actually thought they were gonna do it a little differently than how they actually did it in the movie.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

I I bet they thought that at the beginning too.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

Well, because you know, it was like a whole it was like a whole world of where basically everything was opposite. Men were acting like women and women were acting like men, you know. You you would see men on the you see men on the poster and wearing the lingerie and all that, trying to be the male models and stuff. So the ball bras. Fucking ball bra. That was funny to me. I was like, funny and stupid. Funny and stupid. So I I'll actually give Plot a three.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

Three? Okay. Pla's three, okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Last three rewatchability. You're gonna see this bad boy again?

SPEAKER_02 16:37

As soon as as soon as this recording's over. Matter of fact, yeah. Matter of fact, hold on.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Let me let me let me turn on my PlayStation real quick. I gotta load this back up real quick. Uh, I'm gonna be honest. Rewatchability, that's probably like a 1.5. 1.5. If someone asks you, if someone's like, I really want to watch this movie, I think it's fine. Yeah, like I'm gonna be like, uh, someone's like, hey, you know what? We should watch ladies first. Really? Why? Is that is is there is there is like I've already seen it.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

You know, you I could just explain basic feminism to you if you'd like.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Like, we can is there something else that's on?

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Like, I noticed, I will only watch ladies first. Yeah, you will.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Getting an explanation from me would be better than watching this movie because I would explain this movie didn't know what feminism was, especially in their depiction of a matriarch matriarchal world. It's like this thing missed the mark just all over the fucking place. All over the fucking place. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Did you want to go next, Ryan?

SPEAKER_00 17:53

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Let me give let me give Canarias the score real quick. Uh so that averaged out to 2.5. So right down the fucking middle.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Right down the middle. Yeah, no, that's Rec. Yeah, for me, uh, so acting in this. Like we had competent actors here. We had competent actors, but I've lost faith in a lot of these actors because they read this fucking script

Ryan Scores And Starts The Roast

SPEAKER_00 18:20

and went, yeah, I'll uh I'll be a part of it.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

They're taking Netflix money. You know, that's what it is, is getting some of that Netflix money.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

But it's like, but like you can't do a movie attempting to be socially conscious and then just show your ass. Like now I know that you're not socially conscious. They showed a lot of asses in this movie. I think it's very possible. Like Sasha Barrickonen, Rosamond Pike. I like I now know that you guys don't get it. Or your your money has made you so insulated from these problems. Um, but for me, uh I'll I'll get into that on part two when we get our uh Muadib on. Um, but uh so acting in this, uh like a we we had some good actors here. You know, I thought we got some competent people in the cast here. Rosamond Pike, uh Sasha Barriconin even has some chops, uh Fiona Shaw's good, uh Charles Dance. I like them. They're good. They are good. They just lent themselves to something that probably they shouldn't have, but I will give the acting a three. Okay. Um cinematography, uh again, it was done competently. Like they they knew how to shoot a shot, they they knew how to follow the action, they knew where to be aiming at to get the you know, so it it wasn't it wasn't like some movies we've seen where where the blocking is terrible and like the cameras pointed in the wrong dire wrong fucking direction to what's happening.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

No, it's not like that.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

No, it was very competent. Like they got this this fucking steaming script, and they knew what to do with it. Like a lot of professionals were on this set, and they were just doing a fucking job and they did it competently. So cinematography, but it nothing like obvious well, obviously, nothing here was like, oh my god, nothing took my breath away. So uh cinematography, I'll give a three. Yeah, competent. Yeah. Score and sound. I I like Lou Reed, but they can't take credit for Lou Reed. That's true. They can't take credit for Lou Reed. What they can take credit for is their poor music choices, and that I give it a two.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

That's fair.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

The plot this was ass. Um this plot was ass.

SPEAKER_02 21:06

Um so much ass. It was billboard ass. It was 20, yeah, 20 foot tall billboard ass. Like, you guys, uh like I I want, I wish I was at the fucking bar room meeting or boardroom fucking discussion where like guys, what if we just fucking what I you wouldn't be allowed in there because it's not a man's it's not a man's world. You're a man.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Honestly, uh what I think the script rights for this film looked like were the marketing discussions in the film.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Right. And they had two women. There was two women there who weren't allowed to speak. And then the writer of all the minions movies is what is is who that's what it was. Two women and the writer of all the women. With minions movies. Those are the writers credited. That is what that I'm sorry. That is who wrote this movie, by the way. Yes, that is what happened. Are you fucking kidding me? I I'm not kidding you. It's two women and then the guy who wrote all the despicable me movies.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

That is wild. That is some wild shit right there.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Okay. And to be fair, the other writers have written, at least one of them wrote something that I had seen uh and enjoyed. I'll get to it on mine, but yeah, I was just making jokes, so go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

That's that's that's wild. Okay, so yeah, plot for me on this bad boy is a 1.5.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

That qualifies as ass. Yes, it was some steaming ass, like unwashed, slapped ass, is what I saw here. And again, I'll discuss and I'm just fucking chomping at the bit for part two, but um, rewatchability. Uh no, I I don't want to be steam. It's just for the simple fact that I I don't want there to ever be any sort of idea from the people around me that this is a movie that I might just put on and for everyone to go like, oh, he he listens to Joe Rogan. So no, I will never put this on again. And so for that I give rewatchability a one. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

A one Ryan. Come on, Ryan. You you don't want to come over and watch ladies first, man.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Just hey man, come on by, dude. We're putting on ladies first.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Come on, man. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

All right, calculations. That came out to a two. That's fair. Not ladies, ladies first is not doing well so far. Maybe it'll bump back up with my scores. Let's see. Let's see. Alright, so acting. I thought it was brilliant. I thought these people were at the top of their game. Award season, watch out. Here comes Sasha Baron Cohen with his gigantic

James Scores And Final Rating

SPEAKER_02 24:10

mouth. How many scenes in that movie was the camera kind of like just pointed at his mouth and he's like, ah, and it just you can see like a you can see a void, you know?

SPEAKER_00 24:24

But the acting was He did have a solid uh pre-film, end film body transformation. I'll give that he was coming hot off a divorce, and uh he obviously got in the gym.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

Uh yeah, he uh I I thought that the acting was pretty good in the movie or for what it was, the acting was good. Uh and I'm actually going to give it uh I'll give it 3.5. I didn't, I you know it's funny. I I don't I don't know how good this movie was, but I enjoyed watching this movie because I was watching it with my wife and I enjoyed taking notes about it and ripping it apart. It was fun, but I did not hate the acting in this movie. I thought I enjoyed, I thought I wasn't bored. Yeah, and I've seen a lot of movies where I've been so fucking bored. Like, when is this movie gonna be over? I didn't feel that way with this one. And I I attribute that to the acting, kept me engaged. Uh cinematography. Uh, I thought the cinematography was it was Netflix's style. Like when you watch a Netflix movie, it has a very specific color palette and a very specific, like they ask you to use like certain lenses. Uh, so like for different kinds of shots, for like long shots, you use different lenses than like mid-shots and short shots, and they ask you to use a lot of long lenses, and so it's it it makes this very standard type of feeling to a Netflix movie, and this had that, which is a downside for me. It's like a it's like a too too much of a standardization of movies. Uh, but on the other side, what brings it up a little bit is that I thought that man, the prop department put in work, and I I I count that for cinematography, like the prop department on this movie, like we talked about the ball bras.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

Yes, I don't know if you noticed all the I mean they made a drawer, a Victoria's Secrets drawer of ball bras. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

They went to Victor's secrets, they did all they are so much they had the magazines that were all different, and then they had the different titled books. The prop department put in a lot of Easter eggs in the background for those kinds of things, and for that, I definitely give them a bit of props about that, but it doesn't make up for a lot of the problems that I noticed with the cinematography that just made it kind of dull. Uh, and so I'm only going to give it a three. It kind of balanced out there. The sound, man, I really dislike the take a song, make it a slow version of the song. And now isn't it artistic? Yeah, now it means something. You just took a song and you made it slow, and it doesn't make it artistic or deep or meaningful, and it's not conveying what you want it to convey. And I I like the Lou Reed song, but I do not like uh I do not like how they used it. They used that Lou Reed song because of one line in the song and didn't even use it for the right reason. And uh and so I am mad. And so uh the music only gets a two from me. Uh violent plot. Uh yeah, this plot was uh a super ass. It was the uh same it was the same plot, like this is the plot of a lot of romantic comedies, right? Yeah. Where it's the plot of like so many, so many romantic comedies where I was thinking Mel Gibson's um What Women Want. What Women Want, I have that on my list as What Women Want. And it's not just about the plot, it's about so much of it, and we'll get to it in the next section. But like this movie is is is just what women want, essentially. And and it's it's tired. Yes. From for me, it's tired because I've seen a lot of movies like this. I can only imagine what it's like for women. Yeah, yeah. Women are tired, yes, that's exactly right. Yeah, yeah. Cheryl was like, I'm tired of this. This is tiring. Uh so the plot, I'm only gonna give it a uh 1.5. Ooh, yeah, yeah. And then uh for rewatchability, how many times are you gonna watch this, bad boy?

SPEAKER_01 28:40

We're gonna put it on right now, right? You gotta slide through. I'm gonna watch this thing before I go to bed. It's my new comfort film. Exactly. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

I'm gonna give it a 0.5. I don't think I could stomach to watch maybe if I if someone, if someone was like, listen, this is the only thing you can you're locked in a room, this is the only thing you can watch. I'd put it on one more time. Uh because I just starved for some kind of entertainment.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Just need something. So it's like I don't want to be left alone with the voices in my head. So let me let me put some.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

That was fucking close. So it so so in uh calculation. Uh so if I had bumped that up, we would have ended up rounding up. But instead, the average is 2.23, and so we round down. Uh, and so uh ladies first gets a two, which fair just below middle.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

That's yeah, that's where it belongs. That's middle bad. Send this bitch back to Netflix, we over it. So, all right, fellas. So it's time now to get into the second part of this. It is time to get onto the golden path.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

Shit. Are we gonna how long is this podcast gonna be? Is it gonna be like two hours? Because I gotta I gotta sweep so many notes.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

I got so many notes. Well, we're gonna load up this next shot.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

Next

The Golden Path Critique Begins

SPEAKER_02 30:12

Where are all the chubby women? I want to see chubby women. Where are my thick queens? There are none in this movie, in this alternate universe where the women can just eat steak and cheeseburger and the men can't. Where are my big titty wide hit women?

SPEAKER_00 30:30

But then the men watching it wouldn't be interested.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

So it wouldn't be funny when hey man, big or small, I like them all, thick or thin. Let them in. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 30:40

I do know what you're saying. Cheers to that. Cheers, cheers to that.

SPEAKER_00 30:46

Cheers. Ah, just in time. I was getting a little sober. So all right, it's time for the golden path. It's time to get you Timothy Chalamane on. It's time for that Moa D. Let's tear into this bitch. So well, I mean for me, I just want to get this out before the uh bowling alley fucking ashtray takes me away. Um, this movie reminded me of Good Fortune. Do you remember Good Fortune? We did it on this thing. We had Keanu Reeves, Azizansari, Seth Rogan.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

And that whole thing was essentially a rich guy switches places with a poor person. The rich guy learns his lesson, gets to have his life back, and like, hey guys, we should be nicer to the poorers because they could eat us. And that's what I felt about this one. Like you guys took a topic that is so fucking serious, so fucking damaging, turned it into a shitty comedy. Almost like a Halloween costume. Yeah. And then the the rich guy, the misogynist, just gets to keep their job, just gets to keep it all.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

No, he got what he deserved. Didn't you hear the movie? It's fucking the movie said he got what he deserved, so he did. You you respect the narrator.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

That narrator kissed my ass.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Um hey, bro, the pigeon man was probably like the coolest person in that movie.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

Come on now. Look, I know they all are only doing this because England has five actors, and Idris Elba refused to pick up the phone for a Netflix film. He's doing He-Man right now. I get that. I understand. Um uh, but uh you guys all should have said no. You all should have said no. I don't know what the state of feminism is in the UK, but it can't be this fucking bad. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

This is possibly the best Sasha Barrett Cohen movie. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

Brothers Grimsby, hands down.

SPEAKER_02 32:55

That movie is horrible. I've tried to tell you over and over all these it's not a good movie.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

I'm aware. But no, it pissed me off. And I I was watching it with my girlfriend who was just getting pissed off because you're taking something that seriously hurts people, that seriously affects people. They completely ignored microaggression and just went with the bare fucking bones of what we think it is. They assumed uh a female society would just be the same thing. I got some anarchist things to say about that, but that's for later. And Sam now. Well, they turned it into a shitty joke. Yeah. For anyone who's ever listened to this show for half a fucking second, I I am an anarchist, hands fucking down, and I don't believe in any society that is ruled based on any form of class or power. I believe that power corrupts absolutely, and women are not immune to that. I believe that wholeheartedly that power will corrupt. So it would honestly just a new society with a new ruling class would just be a new style of hell. But it would not mirror male hell. It would be its own fucking hell. But um but but that's neither here nor there, and that's not what this movie's talking about. We it you know, you could hit me up on the other podcast about Ryan's anarchy, but um but yeah, this it just it just took something serious that half the population is suffering from and has been suffering from from for tens of thousands of years, and made a really cheap fucking comedy out of it, and thought that, hey, everyone learns a lesson because Sasha Bear Conan figured it out. Cohen, his last name's Cohen. Conan, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 34:48

Agreed, though. And and yeah, that's uh it really made me think it was like a Halloween costume. What it did was it like took it was like a dress-up play of the problems that women face, and being like, okay, we could let's let's how would we dress up men like they were having women problems? And that was the that was it was it was that's as much thought that was put into uh the relationship between men and women in this movie. Yeah. I have a whole dissertation about that. Do you want to go next, Canarias? Do you have any thoughts that you want? I'll go last because then we'll get into the last part after me because I got shit. It's got a spill.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

Well, I pretty much agree with everything with what Ryan said. They took something that is something so serious, and it's like you're making fun of it. It's like they just made light work of the whole entire thing. Cause from my point of view, it was all just about like a whole movie where they're like, oh, we're gonna treat men how they treat us. Exactly. Like with whenever he was walking down the street, and then the women who were working on the roads were catcalling him. You know, it's just like I was like, I is this really about feminism, or are you just trying to like, you know, like, hey, this is what you're doing? I feel like you're just like bullshitting with me right now. You're just you're trying to take an argument with like no

When Role Reversal Becomes A Cop Out

SPEAKER_01 36:10

no like backbone to it. There's no structure to it, you're just throwing some shit out there at this point. And I was just like, I mean, this nothing was soft, nothing was fucking.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

I deserve respect also, like, not just for my body or my dress. Yeah, like exactly. He got cat called, he was and he just like women.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

So, what I would have liked to have seen, what I would have liked to have seen on that point is like if you guys are gonna do if you want to do this, and if you just want to put it in a full just swap, where that's all society does to change. Fucking make and he has to learn a lesson and he gets to be CEO. Fucking make him earn it. He should have been fucking down there eating that woman out. He should have been like the cat calling construction workers should have made him feel scared.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

And like they should have grabbed him and then he went to a police officer, and then the police officer told him to like it.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

Yeah, yeah. The comedy should have been stripped from it, and they should have made it a horror film.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

That's what that's exactly why that's what's up. That's what I'm getting at. Like, you took something and you just meh with it. Like, nothing about him really affected him, other than like the workplace of him just like this isn't what I'm normally used to. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Other than like the cat calling, like we said, him being he was still able to walk down the fucking street if he wanted to, you know what I'm saying? There are some some women out there, they can't even do that shit without feeling scared or something.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

Yeah, no one tried to rape him on the street.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

No, like they just did the whole they took like the barest of the barest of the bare, like bottom of the barrel scraping that thing that they consider feminism and how they fucking portrayed it, and it's just like, we're gonna make a movie out of this, and this is just gonna touch all of them. This is gonna be great. We're gonna speak up for women, ladies first, we're gonna speak up for the women. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

No, i if if they had a bit if there had been a scene where Sasha Conan, whatever, is sitting there having uh rape kit used on him while a bunch of male, but while a bunch of female police officers don't take him seriously and they're just like kind of q-tipping him.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

Um and he winces in pain and they're like, calm down.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Yeah. And then he gets to go home and be CEO.

SPEAKER_03 38:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 38:51

Like, all right. But he didn't he didn't go through any of that. And I really liked Kadarius that you brought up the cat calling, uh, because there was another scene that made me think of that uh where they were trying to mimic, you know, women's experiences and fucking fell flat on their faces, was when they were in the car and they got the flat tire, and she said, I'm gonna have to pull over, I think we have a flat. And he said, Thanks for woman explaining that to me. And it was like it's like they did a lot of this parallelism in the movie that wasn't very thoughtful, where they just tried to create parallel phrases or parallel products, and and they're just like a one, they just tried to do a one-for-one without like thinking of it, thinking it through it all. And it was like so far from like relevant in the situation or reasonable, like that wouldn't be a you mansplained that to me situation, even if it was a woman. So that didn't make any sense. And so it feels like it actually ends up feeling like it's undermining those struggles of women. It feels like exactly, exactly, it's undermining mansplaining there, and it's undermining the cat calling, and it's undermining the problems with searching for bras, you know, like like a a ball bra is not like women aren't aren't always your balls aren't visible all the time, they're not like right under your face, like nobody is looking at how your balls sit, but women and their breasts, their breasts are right up by their faces, and people are always looking and they protrude from their body, and that's like a real concern that women have to go through. And well, I mean, like undermines it to make it so stupid.

SPEAKER_00 40:32

Well, in that scene, like after we saw Sasha Conan get raped. We didn't see that. But once we did, like if we're fixing this fucking film, we're not at the fix the film yet. You gotta save that for fix the film is the next section. That's when I'm there. That's when I'm there, and I'll rape him.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

But hold it in. I've gotta I've got so much to get through.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

Well, all I'm saying is like I would like to like he goes through this for real. He goes through this for real, he's made scared by the construction workers, he goes through these terrible fucking things, we're not laughing the whole fucking time, and then he doesn't call out the explanation and he changes the fucking tire. Right. And it's just like you guys wanted to make a joke of this, and just like the good fortune, like I was talking about, making a joke of it is inappropriate at this point.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

Yeah. Yep, and that's true. And you know, uh, it was something it this movie reminded me of the other movie that Katie Silberman, who was one of the writers on this movie, did uh, she did Isn't it Romantic, which was one with Rebel Wilson. It was like a parody of romantic comedy. I remember that one, and and it was pretty good because it wasn't trying to like it, it wasn't trying to have a strong mess, it was just trying to be a parody of romantic comedies. Uh and so that was a lot of fun. It took the tropes, it played with them, but they did it with this movie, and and this movie is trying to say something about oppression, and so it doesn't play well. Uh uh I did I the fucked up thing is Katie Silberman, I think, can write a fun movie, and and the problem is the topic just wasn't right on this. But anyway, I have a few more things to break down about why this movie is so fucked. Uh, the first of which is like, um, you know, I really want to talk. I think it I think the core problem this movie is that we take a man who was in power previously and puts him in a position of being oppressed that he's not used to, and that is at its very core, antithetical to the experience

Power Corrupts And The Lesson Fails

SPEAKER_02 42:40

of women, because they don't have that first level where they were in power, and so they don't have all these feelings that they should be in power and they're owed power, and that they're just trying to get to the position back to the position they were in previously. And that's really apparent when we first meet Rosamond Pike's character Alex, and she comes into that first marketing meeting for the Guinness campaign, and she's having expressions like she's not used to being interrupted and dismissed by by all that she's like, but you know, she's like, oh, they're not listening to me. And it's like, uh, this woman has experienced this for her entire fucking life, is that men in a room don't don't take her seriously. She's not surprised by this. Quit making it look like she's surprised. And and like that's the core of the that's the core thing that this movie fails on. It doesn't care that that women have a fundamentally different experience than a man who has had a role reversal. Yes. It doesn't even try to take it to the point where uh a man, like imagine what a man would be like from birth in a world that was rule that was, you know, had women at the top of the power streak. It's totally different than a man being put taken from his power and put there. Another thing, um they didn't give any thought to uh what that world of women in power would look like because all the men look really effeminate, but the women are also still really effeminate and wearing seductive fashion. There's no consistency in the kind of parallels that are used. There's no consistency because the balls for broad doesn't make any sense. Women can't see balls through your pants. Uh the the penile filler, they can't tell the age of your dick through your pants or whatever. That's like supposed to be for like lip filler, right? Men would get lip filler in that case, or they would have some kind of chest amplifying uh device to make to to uh to attract women or whatever. It wouldn't be this it's just not it's not thoughtful, it's it's undermining. Uh nothing bad fucking happened to him in the end, and he is honestly right up until like three minutes before he hit his head a second time. He fell in love with Alex when she because she was the shitty narcissistic version of himself. He learned nothing, he was like, He even said it's like I had sex with myself, and she was like, Yeah, yeah, that was what it was like because so shitty and self-absorbed and aggressive, and that was all that was three minutes before he hit his head again, movie time, like like uh in the movie run time, and then like three minutes later, oh my god, everything's fucking different. He he now he now is like enlightened. Uh it's not like a thing that takes time that he has to listen about, that he has to learn about from people who have actually had those experiences. He's just like, no, actually, all of a sudden I understand it. It only takes it only took one second a time, and I actually I'm an excellent man and a perfect ally. You know what, woman, you're great, and I'll do whatever you need. I'll tell you exactly what you need to hear, just like I've always done. Because I'm a great manipulator. Yeah. Yeah. It's a really fucked up movie with horrible messages. He should have been raped. Well, let's get into it. Let's get into uh the rape of Damien. This is into the omen.

SPEAKER_00 46:31

Omen four. The rape of Damien. Jesus Christ. All right. Well, fellas, it's time then for our third portion. It is time to insert ourselves into this film. How does it change with the insertion of you? Probably

Inserting Ourselves Into The Film

SPEAKER_00 46:52

the wrong way to put that in this particular film. But here we are. How do you get inserted? Uh Kadarius, what what happens when you are put into this film?

SPEAKER_01 47:06

Oh I guess I'm I'll just be like one of those other people in a fucking sweater cardigan being told what to do. You wouldn't be some so you wouldn't be the main character.

SPEAKER_02 47:17

You would be a supporting character.

SPEAKER_01 47:19

Fuck no, I wouldn't be the main character if I was no, like I'm not like him, not a asshole to women. Just sweater guy. Just just the just I'm just the guy in the sweater cardigan. You know, I gotta be like everyone else, like having the conversations, like, oh, I got my pecs done, but I did that for me. It wasn't even for her. I did that for me. I like it when my nipples show. Yeah, you don't like when your nipples show? I love it. You gotta get you like whatever size you wear, you gotta go down one size smaller just so it definitely pokes out even more.

SPEAKER_02 47:56

I'm a big fan of mesh.

SPEAKER_00 48:01

So you could see nipple the newest sweater guy.

SPEAKER_02 48:09

Fantastic, fantastic. Well, how would that change the movie? Would you uh introduce uh alcohol or weed? How would it change the movie? How would you, as sweater guy, fix this movie?

SPEAKER_01 48:21

Oh my goodness. How would uh I just tell fucking Sasha uh what Conan, as you say, right? Sasha Conan Conan? Sasha Conan the Barbarian. Yeah, he's gonna go ahead. Might as well go ahead and go to the courthouse, change your name, bro. Sasha Conan now. It's it's Conan. You're Sasha Conan. We don't care what your name is. What you got at birth, they're wrong, okay? That's your name from now on. Uh me being a sweater guy, I don't know. I'd probably just tell him stop being a bitch. Like, like he's like, oh, I gotta rise up. This is not fair. They're not listening to me. Quit being a bitch, bro.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

I mean, honestly, that would be funny on the uh just the fucking whole of it. Like, honestly, that would have been the best joke in the whole fucking movie, is if one of the sweater guys was like, dude, stop being a bitch. Like, yeah, this is hard for you. It's really hard for you to have a place to live and all that kind of like, yeah. No, so no, that's like there would be a lesson to be learned there.

SPEAKER_01 49:29

There would be humbled. Come on, man. We're here just like you're here. We're dealing with this. Stop being a bitch. I I don't got time to listen to this, man. I got these papers to file, bruh. Like, I'm out of staples in my stapler. You gonna go get that for me? Make yourself useful. Fucking, you're nothing but a piece of meat anyway. Go ahead and walk away. Let me listen. Let me watch you walk away. Go get me some fucking staples.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

Oh man, that's right. They also didn't, they also have this. That reminds me that they made women this monolith. So there was no individual individuality among any of the men women in this movie. They're all like the same personality. Like they were all just like you're just a piece of me. And I was like, oh my god, the women were just pieces of meat. They were all just not, they were not individuals. Exactly. And then that's what the men were when it flipped. They're all just pieces of meat, they were not individuals.

SPEAKER_01 50:21

Uh why there's always individuals. Come on, there's always that one bitch at the office that you cannot fucking stand.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

And there's none who work. There's also people who work, and like none of the men were working. You know, they portrayed like the female the women of the society or you know, the oppressed of the society in either version, as like not working enough, you know?

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Yes. They did. They well, and they also deploy they displayed them as very duplicative. Yeah. When uh when Rosamond Pike's character got the CEO position, all the all the boys are like, I will never be loyal to her. And then when she walks in, they're celebrating and everything like that. And it's yeah, like just like guys, don't you realize that that in and of itself is just a little microaggression you just did? They don't. No, they don't realize that. You guys just automatically assume that women are duplicative and are gonna do shit like that. And it's Yep. Yeah, yeah. And for me, if I was transported to this world, I mean, I'd probably just get raped by construction workers. Um But you'd like it in this world.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

Oh, yeah, you would like it. Come on. What were you wearing, Ryan? Because obviously, oh no, I don't deserved it.

SPEAKER_00 51:42

I was really big in the mash.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:46

The movie took you on a shopping scene first so that it could say that you deserved it.

SPEAKER_01 51:51

Yes, you come on, you were asking for it. There was none of that shit like in the fucking movie that they should have put in there.

SPEAKER_00 51:57

Well, I I would say that it would change uh

Our Rewrite Ideas And CEO Head Bonks

SPEAKER_00 52:00

in the fact so like I I am transported to this world where the British get to write a matriarchal society. So I'm gonna I'm gonna drop into this thing preparing for a cheeky time. We're gonna eat shitty food, and we are going to cement the patriarchy via a film shitting on the matriarchy. Which is what this did. But no, if we're gonna take this in the literal, grim, dark sense that I always take things and that I will for this movie as well. Um I'm gonna drop into this and I'm going to first I'm gonna think about my own world, and I'm gonna Jesus, I'm gonna thank my fucking lucky British stars that women don't just murder us all. And then I am going to prepare to be raped by construction workers, and I'm gonna have knives on me and shit like that. Yeah. And I'm gonna fight back. And then this world's trouble.

SPEAKER_02 53:06

If you people are gonna tell you you're overreacting if you have a knife on you. Exactly. And then I'm overreacting.

SPEAKER_00 53:15

So well, I I tried to defend myself. This matriarchal system holds me down, as it always does. You're going to jail for defending yourself. I go to jail for defending myself. Um I get uh fucked up in prison. I either die in prison or I do like a white man Mandela thing.

SPEAKER_02 53:35

And um You guys are just gonna take that one from him too, huh?

SPEAKER_00 53:44

Smart humor on this show. And uh that's that's uh that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna be the uh the white mandella of the Sasha Barrickonen female world.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

Perfect. Uh no notes.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

Uh that's that's what I'm like I'm gonna fight back and I'm gonna go to jail because I'm a man. And uh and I'm gonna write I'm gonna write a thing. And uh a few people will talk about me, but eventually they'll forget me. They'll elect uh female Trump, and uh that'll be the end of it. Perfect. Solid. Five out of five.

SPEAKER_02 54:30

Netflix just signed you. Certified.

SPEAKER_00 54:33

Certified fresh.

SPEAKER_02 54:36

Uh uh, I guess for me, it would uh I think I'd start out who would I be? I would be Rosamond Pike for this one because my movie, instead of this movie, it would actually be centered on a woman instead of centered on a man who sees a woman's experience through a man's lens.

SPEAKER_00 55:00

Honestly, that alone, if if instead Rosamond Pike took a head wound and went to Matriarchal World, would already have been a step up.

SPEAKER_02 55:13

A better movie, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:16

You just went from a 2.5 to a 3.5 right there, instantly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:19

I'm not even done. Depends on the lesson, it depends on the movie.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

Not even done. Not even done. Let's hear this.

SPEAKER_02 55:25

So then instead of centering the man's experience as a lens for women's experiences to be interpreted, we'd follow her and we would see in this new world that like uh you know, I would notice as I went through that the kind of what the things oppression causes. I would talk to individuals in this world, like the men who who have like kind of been uh uh you know in the office who have all been turned into the monolith or the stereotypical kind of uh you know h hegemony of personalities. I talked to them as individuals and I'd see how in these interpersonal politics, you know, oppressed peoples kind of find ways to relate to each other and support each other because they're always under attack from people in power. And those people wouldn't trust me as Rosalind Pike uh because because because I am the the exploiter and oppressor. And I would seek out uh uh Sasha Baron Cohen's Damien character and see how he's dealing. It'd be like both of us. It happened to both of us, right? It's like a trading places almost. And and he would be experiencing from the other side, and she could have like a real conversation with them about the relationship of their experiences. And he says, Well, I always had these expectations of power, and she's like, Well, I never had these expectations of power. And uh, and then uh at the end of the movie, we learn that we need to start knocking CEOs unconscious uh so that they can grow. Yeah, so that so that they can they can go through personal journeys and grow. And so there's just a wave of Rosmond Pike and uh and Sasha Baron Cohen running around and beating CEOs over the head. I love it. And uh, and that's my movie.

SPEAKER_00 57:10

So I I would I would watch Kadarius' movie for fun, just to just just to watch his exploration through this world, just like almost like a real like a comfort show, like you watch reality TV, you know? I would watch my film as this horrific fucking thing that explores the darkest sides of all of this, and then I would watch James's as like a hopeful message of murdering CEOs.

SPEAKER_02 57:39

No, no, no, no, you just knock them unconscious. You gotta give them an opportunity to wake up and learn a lesson because it does it's just because the lesson is the lesson is there immediately as they wake up, as we've learned. You don't have you actually not to do any work, you just wake up with a lesson. No, yeah, free Luigi.

SPEAKER_00 57:58

My headcanon would be that would be that they died.

SPEAKER_02 58:02

Sarah had a really funny movie, uh a really funny thing she said. She's like, this movie is not fuckable. This movie is not fuckable. Uh it's at least 20 years too old, which is one of the lines in the movie. And I was like, this movie is this movie is from like 25-30 years ago.

SPEAKER_00 58:21

Look, if they released this movie, if they released this movie in 1981. This movie would have killed. This would be an American tradition.

SPEAKER_02 58:30

Yeah, yeah. Inton 2, it was what women want. And which was lukewarm reception, but not hated.

SPEAKER_00 58:40

Yeah. So, well, there you have it, folks.

SPEAKER_02 58:45

Oh, and then I'd get hit by a bus. Oh, shit. Yep. It goes without saying. Gotta die. I can't not die. And then he would cry, and then Sasha Baron Cohen would cry over my dead body, and then he would that's when he'd like go around beating that's when he'd go around. So that'd be the next movie where he goes around hitting CEOs in the head.

SPEAKER_00 59:04

Okay, good, good. All right. Well, I'm glad we figured that out. Uh, we know what to do with CEOs now. So I'm glad we talked about it. Well, so everyone, uh, we're High and Dry Podcast. I'm Ryan Barron North with me as always, James Crosslin. And joining us this week, Kadarius. Uh Kadarius, uh, where can

Where To Find Kadarius

SPEAKER_00 59:25

our listeners find you?

SPEAKER_01 59:26

Uh, you can find me on Instagram and on TikTok. Follow me. Uh, it'll be my music account. I also make music. It'll be A-O-Carito A-Y-O-K-A-R-I-T-O.

unknown 59:41

Nice.

SPEAKER_01 59:42

And you can find JK Riddle if you bang. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 59:46

And for us, you can find our uh exclusive line of branded ball bras at the uh high and dry store. Uh get your slings now, boys. Already ordered seven of them.

SPEAKER_00 59:59

Get those ball bras that no one will be able to see, but god damn it if they don't give you confidence. I'm wearing one right now. So all right. Well, thanks for listening, everyone. Bye. Later.