Two Old Men Yell At K-Pop Demon Hunters

We rate K-Pop Demon Hunters with our five-point rubric and end up split on what works versus what feels like empty hype. Then we dig into the deeper meaning: consumerism, idol purity culture, and why the fandom energy around this movie makes our skin crawl. 
• cold open chaos and why we are missing Luke 
• our three-part method: ratings, Golden Path, then inserting ourselves 
• acting in animation and why “emoji” performances annoy us 
• cinematography praise and the Spider-Verse style comparison 
• music backlash and why it sounds like generic Western pop 
• plot predictability and how “hero’s journey” gets recycled 
• rewatchability and what we would actually sit through again 
• Golden Path: nonstop product placement and consumer identity 
• purity culture, parasocial sexuality, and the “no touching” tension 
• our ridiculous rewrites when we insert ourselves into the story 
Make sure, yeah, you follow, like, subscribe, do all the fucking things. Please. If you like this thing, help us out. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:15

You ready to uh be our own daddies and make our own sugar? What? That's right. I said, are you ready to be your own daddy and make your own sugar?

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Don't understand. Sugar daddy. Oh, okay. I guess I'd prefer if you have any other options that actually have money to give me, I'll be someone sugar baby. I wouldn't have to do that.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Yeah, they're like, that's fine. That's fine at this point. Just yeah.

unknown 0:50

Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

I'm a great conversationalist. Right? I can I can cook. I'll be back. Oh yeah, I'd love to cook.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

I got a a podcast that's going for me. I cannot well, I I can clean, but I cannot bring myself to clean. Hopefully, you have uh as a as a sugar daddy, you will need to have enough money to hire someone to do that.

What We’re Reviewing Today

SPEAKER_00 1:14

See, I I I can clean, but it's never seems to be up to anyone's standards. Yeah, yeah. So that's I just hate it. Well, hey everybody.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Kill myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Welcome to High and Dry Podcast, the only podcast keeping alive the fandom of young Hercules. Uh I'm your host, Ryan Barrett North. With me as always, James Crosslin. So, yeah, Young Hercules. It uh features Ryan Gosling as the titular Hercules. Yes. Yeah, look at that shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Pull that up. I know what I'm doing this weekend.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

It was like uh finding out that James McAvoy was in that Dune series. Yeah, yeah. Children at Dune, that's right. I I never saw Children of Dune. Did he actually put on the bugs? Uh no, no.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

That was pre-bugs. Pre-bugs. It was when they were growing up.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Oh, that sounds boring as fuck.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Well, anyway. So we are not actually going to be discussing young Hercules or the Bugs and the Children of Dune. Instead, it always comes back to Dune, though. Uh, what we will actually be talking about uh this week is K-pop demon hunters. That's right. People love this movie. Which I guess we'll get into that. I guess we'll get into that. Very popular movie. We will uh we will be getting into K-pop Demon Hunters. Now I'm your horse, Ryan Barrett Northwest me always James. We are missing uh Luke this week. He has uh he's having a bout of GERD and had to step away.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

GERD.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah, he's got the GERD. Um, and he will be joining us again next week, and we we pray for his swift recovery. Um but regrow that stomach lining fast, Luke.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

We need you. We're off the rails already.

Drinks And Listener Shoutouts

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Needs you, it's already gone to hell. Um, so we're gonna do this in a three-part method, guaranteed to get you the best results for your podcast buck. Uh first we're gonna rate this movie out of five, giving you the definitive score that can never be disputed again, and is better than anything um, you know, Fandango has ever done. After we get you your five, we are going to dive into the golden path and dissect the deeper meanings of this film. And then finally, we are going to insert ourselves drugs or alcohol into the film. And what makes it so special, unique, and fun is that we are going to be doing it drunk and high. So, James, what are you uh what are you puffing on? Same thing.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

It's just C BD. It's all I can have now. C BD and lithium. I took a lithium really recently, so we'll see. Alright. Lovely. CBD and lithium. It's not even a special CBD. No, it's not a special lithium either. Just generic. Generic brand lithium. Alright. I went in uh I've harvested out of uh all the Teslas that have lit on fire after they get into minor accidents.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

It's that what's been happening. Yeah. Sounds like an X-file. So uh I will be joining you with uh just my basic. It's an old Forester, honor proof. 100 horsepower. It'll get me there. Get me where I need to be. Um, I'm going to not do the um the mountain of what did I have last time? The the jar. The moon sh- no, the uh moonshine that yeah. The moonshine absinthe. Yeah, that was that that seemed awful. I couldn't imagine. It was it was terrible. So I'm I'm happy to be back at Old Forester. So let's line them up. This first toast, first shot, first hit, this one goes out to our newest listeners over the past week. Sorry, folks who came in last week looking for a new episode, but uh, we got some coming from us coming to us from uh Erequipa Erequipa Coquimbo Coquimbo. Um let's see. There's no way any of these are right. No, there's no fucking way. Tap and Virginia. Osaka. Uh let's see, Glasgow. Osaka's right. I know where that is. Let's see. And uh we got some from Leeds as well as Sussex. So Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Cheers. Every one of those places.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Very nice VPNs out there, folks. Cheers.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

I think they're just fuck. Someone's fucking with you by choosing hard to pronounce things. Oh, yeah. I I don't I I don't have the words in front of me, so I could not tell you what the actual pronunciation is. But that first one sounded Spanish.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

Yeah, a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

There's a QUI in it. You usually it's key, you you pronounce it key, not you don't do the hard Q like qua. You say key, quita, you know.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

So it'd be Arequipa? Yeah. Let's see. Arequipa. Let's find out. Well let's search this dude's VPN just to double check.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

I've never I've never heard of that place. Peru.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

It is the colonial era capital of Peru. Oh, okay. Yeah, framed by three volcanoes. For what? Murder? Yeah, framed by three volcanoes for murder. It's very picturesque. I can imagine.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

If col if call if uh you know colonists love it, you know, it's good.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

No, and it's uh oh yeah, and it's known as the White City.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

Woohoo! Whoa! Yeah, yeah. Uh oh.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

Yeah. Did uh did you see uh Sydney Sweeney was uh finally opened up about race in Hollywood?

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Uh no, I I I I couldn't care, I could not care any less about what Sydney Sweeney has said.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

She said if uh someone's even one sixteenth Italian, they should have to register.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

For like their car. I agree. Everyone should register their car.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Just registered.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Okay. Register for their for their wedding.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

I don't know. Anyway, so uh this one here's to the White City. Cheers. Cheers, Minas Tirith. Oh yeah, and on the side here, I'll be uh sipping some more of this, but in my caffeine-free Diet Coke.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

Oh, that's great product placement. Something that is unstoppable within K-pop Demon Hunters. Oh my god. Jesus God.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Oh, yeah. Endless branding. Well, this final toast, final hit. This one goes out to our film this week. Kpop Demon Hunters.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Cheers. I wish Luke was here because he's uh he's a young man. And I feel like a lot of this is just gonna be two old men yelling at clouds. I don't uh I don't know. There's no there's nothing to balance us out.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

Well, no, I think a lot of this is gonna be two old men yelling at other old men. Um, because like the fan base of this thing is fucking creepy.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

Well, the fan base of idol culture is creepy. They even show it, they kind of show it like they do a little tongue-in-cheek of it in the movie, but it's but that's that's what it's like, and P and nobody who loves this movie is like, oh, he's like, oh yeah, that's a criticism. They're like, yeah, that's what I love, you know?

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Oh yeah, no, there was completely there. I just just I mean you cruise read it for half a second, and there there's not a a critical thought um when it comes to discussing this m fucking movie.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

No.

Ratings Start With Acting

SPEAKER_00 9:51

Well, let's find a score. Um, I I have I'm I think I think K-pop's gonna pull something out here.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Just uh this little diatribe. Um Yeah, we got a lot to talk about in the golden path. I'll try not to stray too much.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Yeah, uh yeah, I'm ready to just throw down some fucking numbers then. Um so uh for me, acting I don't fucking know. Like I I would like to I would like to state that I sat down for this going, god damn it. I knew I'm not the audience for this, despite millions of men my age for some reason are.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

And I'm gonna get to that in the golden path, because I I know why. We'll get to it in the golden path.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Yeah, I'm not the audience, so I will state that going in. Um the acting I thought was uh fucking just terrible. It like the I I I hate, I hate um that TikTok style over exaggeration. It it is like a chalkboard dragging on another chalkboard to me. Yeah. Uh I hate emoji people. Um, I can't stand it.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

And uh lots more cinematography, right? Or or is or do you can or do you lump that in with acting?

SPEAKER_00 11:15

I'm I'm lumping in with an act within the acting here. Um and and then again we're in an interesting situation.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

This may be our first animated movie where there are no actual actors on screen.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Which is a damn shame that it's this one.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Yeah, so it's very it's very interesting because the actors and the acting aren't responsible for what the characters are doing on screen. Isn't that isn't that interesting? So like the things you hate about the TikTok emoji faces and stuff like that, that's not the actors. That's people rendering.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yes. Well then then maybe they're maybe the actors were playing these characters appropriately, and I just fucking hate the characters. Like I hated the boy band, I hated the girl band, I hated the fans. The the best acting I saw was from the Demon Cat. Um Demon Cat was great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Here's a little thing. Here's a little thing. If you like the Demon Cat, so the cat and the it which is a tiger, it's a it's a dumb tiger and a magpie, and it's a popular Korean folk art called the Hojakto. And the cat represents the nobility, this dumb, kind of really slow, kind of smiling, you know, tiger, and the magpie represent the working class. And it's like the magpie, it like the dumb cat, the dumb tiger relies on the magpie that does all the work and thinks and has to like be be intelligent about its life in order to survive. That's kind of so I thought that was interesting. Well, culturally, we have all the answers.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

We know what we need to do. Yeah, we know who's dumb. We like we've always known. Um but if if it's just a matter of playing these characters, the lines were delivered, the characters did their thing, and for that I give it a three. Nothing on there was about to Sorry, go ahead. Well, I mean nothing nothing about the delivery was about to like so for me, um, if you take Mark Hamill in the killing joke, uh-huh, that was a 4.5 to 5 acting in an animated role. Right. This it was just you yeah, you you guys you guys know how to talk into a microphone, you did it.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

Well, there would be other parts of the movie that supported that, right? Like a slow building of tension. Well, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

And we've we've talked in other films that sometimes the script just doesn't support a five. You know, like not every movie is gonna give you your you know Michael Corleone moment, you know? It's not always it's not but you you work with what you get and they work with what they got, and so for that I I give it a three. Yeah, sometimes you get sometimes you have a basketball or or something, something like that. Yeah, like I I could like they they definitely like uh fucking the South Park guys, they fucking nailed that character, and I'm not giving it more than a three. And so yeah, K-pop demon hunters, uh basketball, same fucking movie.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Exact same movie.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

Same fucking movie. Indistinguishable. Yeah, I couldn't tell the difference. So um for that I give it a three. If you make it to basketball, I'll give you a three. That is the bar. The bar of film cinematography. I will say that um a lot of the animation was interesting, it was well done. Yeah, it was definitely a ripoff. What was it a ripoff of? Miles Morales. It's the same company. Oh, yeah, so all they did was recycle. That makes me hate this movie even fucking more.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

It's their it's their animation style. Like Studio Ghibli doesn't recycle, you know. It's it's just uh it's their style of animation.

Plot Predictability And Rewatchability

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Yeah, so well, it was fun. It was it was cool, some of the fight scenes were enjoyable when the characters weren't making me hate it. So uh I'll give I'll give cinematography I'll give it a four.

unknown 15:40

No.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

Music, uh, I thought was ass. I thought it was just hot fucking recycled pop garbage.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Like pop.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

I mean, like, are you telling me uh fucking Pink and Carly Ray Jepson were busy? Um they're not Korean. You couldn't get Cy. Yuna. No, she wasn't available either. So yeah, I thought it I thought it was it was it was garbage. It was trash. Nothing there was good. And the whole time the the story is based off of her trying to rewrite the script from shitty rap to shitty emotional. And it was this is just this is just ask. So I'm I'm gonna give the music on this one a two.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Wow. I mean, people love the music, it's it's yeah, well, incredibly popular.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Yeah, people voted for Trump. That's so that's true. Plot. I I I could have fast-forwarded through this movie and stopped every 10 minutes and told you exactly what was happening at any given time. That this plot is so basic. The only thing they just put a K-pop filter onto it. This was the most basic fucking thing. Absolutely like I've seen this two million times, and I I feel like Disney should be throwing down some lawsuits or something.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

But um that that is a thing, though, right? When you think about it, this is a movie, this is like a family movie, right? When you think of like really successful, according to the new made well, people so wait until I lay this down, you can tell me. So you're right, very simple plot, uh, but it that's also the case for a lot of like incredibly ones that I would regard as very good animated family musicals, like Lion King or Beauty and the Beast, or Aladdin, and they're and what they are is been.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

This is the hero's journey, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

With with an exotic culture laid over it, like France or No, no, I wouldn't say laid over it.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

I say it just was like mildly dabbed.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

You know, well, you may not be getting all of the cultural references. I did a lot of I did a lot of googling. There's a lot of cultural references in it.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

No, I and I saw some. I like I definitely yes, obviously. But um, I I thought this story, but it maybe it was just brought down by just how much it beat me to death with how shitty these women were. Like I mean, when when they all of a sudden like turned crazy for the boy band for that instant there, my first thought was if I was in that boy band and they somehow captured me and I had to hang out with them for more than a fucking hour, you would find me hanging by the bed sheets from their tower. What did you uh what did you hate about them? Oh, where to begin? Well, that that's for a deep dive. But uh like every time I saw the couch, I would be like driven into a murderous rage. Like, oh, that means it's the couch song time. And we we can't just we can't just have a fucking conversation, us four. We can't just talk. You you guys have to emote at me. All right, can we can we please just talk? I beg you, please, just let me talk. Stop singing.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

And uh I yeah, I that is very interesting because you know, uh one of the things that I read, you know, because I kind of looked at what other people were saying about it, and they talked about how authentic this was. And I was like, that's so that's what an interesting perspective because the entire thing about like Korean media is how um and like how they represent interactions between people is how um how many customs there are. And that doesn't a bunch of customs and etiquette as an abstraction between two the the personalities or you know feelings of two people is like the opposite of authentic. It's like uh it's it's an abstraction, it's uh it's it's it's it's a manufacture, it's something that you have to manufacture in order to obey. And it yeah, yeah. Confusing.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

Yeah. Well, uh, yeah, this plot uh uh it bored the ever loving fuck out of me. I I knew exactly what like I if I were to start fast-forwarding 10 minutes to skip something, I would land and like ah cool, I I missed nothing. It was boring as all hell. Uh I'm gonna give the plot a two. I'm gonna give the plot a two. I thought it was fun just taking K-pop itself and having the girl band versus the boy band. Like that was fun. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so for that, I don't give it a one. I give it a two. Rewatchability. I will never watch this again. I will leave the room. I like no. I I will not ever see this movie again. Um, I don't where have we landed on zeros? Uh zeros are not allowed. All right, uh point fives, are they cool? Maybe. Then I'll go with a I'll go with a strong maybe on this one. 0.5 on the rewatch ability. Because because you could hold a gun to my head. And yeah, yeah, right. I will watch it to save my life. Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

So there was good animation. What if it was muted? What if it was muted and you skip to the you skip to the fight scenes? What if we just watch something else? You don't want to you don't want to keep replaying the scene where she deep throats a gimbab? Not really.

SPEAKER_00 21:59

No, I know a lot of people Yeah, the internet does. I'm not one of those guys. Uh and I guess that that makes me out of touch these days. I guess that makes me old. But yeah, no, I I don't never I don't damn clout. Like I don't ever need to see it again. I'm good. I am good. Point five. Got it.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Are you writing them down, or was I supposed to be writing them down? I thought you were. We trust this to Luke usually. So let's keep doing stuff.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Hold on. So it was uh it was three. Yeah. So three. Music hated it.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

I hated it. What was it? What was your score?

SPEAKER_00 22:48

It was a two for plot. I'm gonna give a one for the music. Ouch. Okay. Because I have your scores here. Okay, so you got them now? Yes, I have them now. Okay.

Golden Path Begins: Who It’s For

SPEAKER_02 23:03

Alright. So I'll kick in. Alright, so I think I hated this movie less than you. Acting, I thought that the voice acting was I thought it was fine. I thought the voice acting did its job. And I was like, Yeah, it was definitely basketball. I thought that people were expressive. Um, obviously. You you dislike their over-expressiveness. You know, I think there's a cultural thing here where it it's it's where it's you have to buy into it. If you buy, if you want to buy into it and you're like, oh, this is the cultural thing that I like, then then you then that that over-emoting and stuff is is uh is desirable for you. And whereas if if that's not the case, then it's not. And I uh I feel like it didn't bother me too much, but I also it was it wasn't really my thing either. Um I'm gonna give it a 3.5 on the acting. Uh I thought the the delivery of plenty of the lines were really funny. So hot and so respectful, I thought was a really funny delivery of like a really stupid line, but very funny. Very, very funny delivery. Um they had a few of they had a few of those. That's fair. The voice acting was good. Uh for cinematography, yeah. I uh like you pointed out, like these are the same people who did uh uh End of the Spider-Verse, and I enjoyed uh I enjoyed the action scenes. Um I enjoyed the action, I I enjoyed the um like there was a lot there were a lot of glowy things, and I enjoyed the way they handled the layering and the glowiness of stuff. So uh I'm gonna give this one a four also. Yeah, I just I just enjoyed the general vibe of the cinematography. Uh the music, I I I don't like the music from this. I don't think it's particularly k-pop-y either, which is interesting. Uh, I feel like it's just pop, you know. Um there there was some uh there was some Korean word spoken word, but it didn't feel particularly I've heard other k-pop. Not that I not that I particularly like it either, but I've heard other k-pop and it doesn't really like it, it sounds different than like Western pop, and this just sounds like Western pop. Very boring, Western pop. Yeah, it just sounds like Western pop. Uh, and and I and I didn't really like it either. But uh there's a few things that that uh you know I find myself humming and stuff, uh having watched the movie uh very recently. So I'm willing to give the the music a three because it is competent and it's very popular. And if you if someone was to play a song from this movie, I'd definitely recognize it. I'd be like, yep, that's from this movie. Where else where the fuck else would it be? Uh I'd recognize it. It has an incredibly unique sound.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

I would politely but firmly request that they change it.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

I have I have heard people, I've heard the songs for this movie more than I've seen them. Like I've seen I've had to see this movie twice now. I say had to because I'm not I wasn't excited about it. I've seen this movie a second time for this, and I've heard the songs for this movie so many times because we have we have a lot of Asian friends, and you know, it's very important for I think a lot of there's there's Asian representation in this movie, and K-pop is incredibly popular globally, and so a lot of people really uh gravitate to it, and we have a lot of Asian friends, and so I hear a lot of these when we do things like karaoke or hang out or whatever. I hear K-pop demon hunter songs. It's also like fantasy, it's fantasy that's in the realm of you, you know, that's that that people feel a connection to. So I get it, uh, but not for me. Uh, but still, I'll give the music a three because it is competent and a little catchy here and there. Uh, plot, uh, the plot, like we said, is really basic. It's overlay, you know, it's the same kind of hero's journey that's overlaid with, you know, quote unquote exotic culture uh that we've seen over and over again. Um but it doesn't it doesn't do the uh it doesn't feel as it doesn't feel clever. Um I don't know if I don't I haven't really maybe I should go back and watch Aladdin and and Lion King and stuff a third time. No, not I came out with Demon Hunters, but yeah, go back and watch some of the other ones that I'm comparing it to and see like are they clever? I don't think Beauty and the Beast is clever. I I remember that one. I don't think it's clever. Um, it's fun, it's whim, it's whimsical.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

The best part about Beauty and the Beast is her reaction to him becoming human and the instant where she looks disappointed as fuck.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Uh yeah, I'll have to watch that again. But I but I do remember like Aladdin being clever and stuff, having turns like turns of phrase, you know, uh word play. But yeah, so uh, but that's like a once in a generation movie. Yeah, so for plot, I'm just gonna give it a I'm gonna give it a two. Yeah, I think it was really predictable and um and uh it was so driven by like consumerism that it really bugged me. Like they were they were consuming the whole time, and and that was like the major part of the plot was them moving from consumptive thing to consumptive thing. I was like, uh, I can't I was so bored. Yeah rewatchability. I hope I don't have to watch this again. But if but if someone does please please don't make me uh but uh you know if someone did put it on, if one of my friends put it on and they were like, I really love this and I really want to watch it again, I I would be fine with it. I'd go on my phone. I would be I would be on, which I don't think is I don't think that's uh I don't think that's a bad thing. Yeah, I don't think it's a rude, I don't think it's rude. It's like, yes, I've seen this movie, uh, so it's not rude for me to do it, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

I I am willing to sit on my phone for two for an hour and a half for you.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

Yeah, for real.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

Oh geez, I almost accidentally gave it a five. I was inputting stuff. That was a close one. Yeah, I almost gave it a five instead of a 0.5 for your rewatchability. Uh, but since there's just two of us, since there's just two of us, that makes it uh, you know, that makes it way less numbers, the you know, way less opinion going into this. Um, I shouldn't get it's a 2.5. Okay, which is I agree. Better than I expected.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

I agree. No, our system is right again.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Yeah, it's always right. Uh, you know, there were some things that redeemed it. We both gave it good cinematography. Yeah. Uh you know. Yeah. Yeah. No, but uh we both said the acting was passable, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Yeah, it was passable, yeah. But yeah, look, it is what it is, all right? And uh those of you guys listening, you just gotta accept it. It is what it is. We're always right. All right. That's why you listen to us every every Tuesday. That's why you're here. Now shut the fuck up and deal with it.

SPEAKER_02 30:47

Good and you can in you can enjoy K-pop demon hunters even though you're wrong.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Yeah, you definitely can. You definitely can. And I know you're sitting at the side of the road right now on the way to work. You've taken three, four shots with us now, and uh you don't always do it.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

You're like you're you're thinking, but I masturbate to those teenage cartoons. What am I gonna do? It's okay, you can keep masturbating to the teenage cartoons.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

Luckily, they're cartoons. So you're never existed, yeah. They've never existed in any realm.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

So they're they're their impossible proportions are totally fine for you for you to sexualize. Yeah, they've sexualized them for you.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Yeah, that's like that. Was this whole fucking movie? So they knew what they were doing. They knew what they were doing.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

They it's uh do you watch much Korean media? We're we're about to get into the golden path. Maybe we should just do that first.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

Yeah, well, all right, let's all right.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

So I have a because I because I want to talk a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Okay. Let me uncork this bad boy. Back up. Right there. I'm on a cut right now, so I have to bring in my uh measuring cup because my calories are so dialed in right now. I didn't get to eat much today. Cheers. Uh-huh. Cheers. That makes it worth it.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

Alright. So, Golden Path. Tell us about it. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

Alright, so welcome to the Golden Path, everybody. It's time to dive into the deeper meanings of this film. And yeah, like I said, I went into this thing going, this isn't for me. This is for nine-year-old girls. It seems to be for everyone. Seems to be for everyone except us. And then I watched it. I'm like, yeah, this is for nine-year-old girls and perverts. Yeah, just like TikTok.

SPEAKER_02 32:56

So TikTok is for nine-year-old girls. It's it's it's an app where teenage girls dance for other teenage girls and adults. And and this movie is like a TikTok movie.

SPEAKER_00 33:10

Yes. Yes. And well, I I immediately like, so I mean, anyone who's listened to this podcast, you guys know that I'm I'm a fucking like I I'm an anarchist at heart. I hate the rich, all those so all those things. You know, this is a super conservative podcast. And and immediately I'm turned off. Like, I have to watch these fucking three rich girls have a problem. Yeah. And and all they did was like, we all have our own ramen brand. And it it was just it was non-fucking stop a barrage of this corporate consumerist shit that I fucking hate and loathe.

SPEAKER_02 33:56

And the noodles, the Sony phones constantly, all the beauty products. It was just fucking awful. It was fucking awful. And I'm like, this this there's like so many single wrapped things, like they did so much like uh individually wrapped things in the movie that came that became unwrapped, and like there's so many cans. I was like, Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

It was constant, it was constant. And it just like I uh I'm so tired of it. I'm so fucking tired of it. And like I'm wanting this was for nine-year-old girls, and then I'm watching them go, like, if I ever have a nine-year-old girl, I I'm gonna sit there and explain to her. Like, if I was if she was watching Twilight, I'd be explaining to her the problems with this. Like, yeah, like the like like babe, this like this this is all consumerism. This is all like this is terrible.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

The well, one thing that we started talking about before is uh have you have you watched much Korean uh media? Much is a strong word, but I am not a stranger. Okay, so not a stranger. Have you watched any like uh Korean dating shows?

SPEAKER_00 35:15

No, I can't say I have no. No, my like yeah, well please, please.

SPEAKER_02 35:20

Let me tell you. So uh so one of the ones that uh my roommate used to watch was Singles Inferno, and that sounds like really steamy, right? That sounds like pretty sexy.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

Do you have in like a Steam room that's brought to you by Sony?

Purity Culture And Parasocial Sex

SPEAKER_02 35:41

No, but they do have a lot of products and a lot of uh there is there's also very much uh it's very much a product placement, uh destination placement kind of thing. But in Singles Inferno, like I remember one specific scene that I feel like captured the the thing I'm about to talk about. And uh it was uh one of the guys was they were like taught the the there were a group of of women and a group of guys, and they would interview each about the other. And there was one woman on on that the guy one of the guys was like, she's so pure. She and and I was like, what the fuck does that mean? You know, uh it's some kind of like cultural context that that nobody seemed to have a problem with. There's like a panel of people who were like also like part of the show is that there's a panel of people who are also watching the contestants and commenting on it in real time, like they'll cut back to these commentators about the cat about the dating cast. But and they were like, oh yeah, pure, oh yeah. And it's it it reminds me of purity culture. This movie, like all of that stuff reminds me of like American Purity Culture, where it's like a huge focus on like sexuality. This movie focused on sexuality so much. The women were dressed sexually, they kept looking at the guys and going, oh, sexual sex, oh they're so fucking sexy, you know, and like the fans were looking at it. Yeah, the fans were looking at and then each girl fell into like she's the bad one, she's the pure one, she's like well, the the the uh the audience would look at the the women with hard eyes and stuff, and so everyone was so horny all the time, and sex was always you know, the sexuality was always front of mind, but it's repressive and restricted. It's like the I don't know if you you noticed like the the touching each other, like the they never touched each other, and when they did touch each other, everyone's like whoa, touching each other. It's just like purity culture, like those daddy-daughter dances, like where the that's it's just it's just like that, and it's very conservative, it's very sexualized, it's worshiping virginity, uh, and and it's like it's like it's like the way they commodified everything else in the movie, like this commercialization, this consumerism. The sexuality is like bundled to be consumed by the audience in a way that isn't shared with anybody on screen, so it's not solid by your individual consumption. It's it's like the peak of the parasocial sexual relationship where the the character is saved for every individual audience member to to sexualize on their own and have for their own without ever being ruined by by another person. It's it's a pure commodity, you know? Yes, it's it's real weird and fucking gross. It it really made my skin crawl the whole fucking time. Well, I uh everyone's obsessed with fucking and so scared of it at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

Well, I I uh while I was watching it, I'm like, I fucking know it. I like you're making me watch this fucking thing, and I go I go on to just uh I go to Reddit and I type K-pop demon hunter, and I see all the subreddits, I scrolled down, and then it was NSFW, NSFW, NSW, just mountains and mountains and mountains of how you want to see these three girls get fucked.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

Well, to be fair, they also want to see the guys get fucked. And sometimes the fans, and sometimes the manager, depending on which community you're in.

SPEAKER_00 39:51

It just turns into this fucking fuck nightmare.

SPEAKER_02 39:55

Well, it's because people are so fucking horny. Like the movie is such a horny movie, but no one is ever allowed to touch, no one is a lever. It's it's everyone's so fucking just getting getting more and more amped to fuck, and they never get a release. They never get to fuck. It's edging. The movie edges you the entire time about these teenagers. It's real weird. Real weird. And well, Jesus Christ. What the this is like exactly how idol groups are portrayed. Like Korean and Japanese idol groups, this is exactly what it is, and it's so fucking weird. I've always thought it's like so gross and weird, and people are like, it's not weird, you just don't understand, it's their culture. It's like, all right, fine, whatever. You're just pretty sure it's fucking weird.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

No, it is really fucking weird. Like, it could because as soon as they get behind an anonymous internet uh name, uh, as soon as there's a pseudonym involved, you're sitting there watching her get jizzed on. Like, don't fucking tell me that. Get the hell out of here.

SPEAKER_02 41:05

To be fair, there's also have you seen any cars go by and you I don't know if it's just because I'm in like a big city, like the third, I don't know. Is Sandy Sandy's like either the eighth or thirteenth? I can't remember where it ranks, but it's like uh one of those uh large cities in the US for sure. I can't tell you how many how many anime tits I see on cars driving around. It's not it's not it's not like all of them, but I see it probably every other time I go out.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

I saw it a bunch in Vegas.

SPEAKER_02 41:37

Yeah, yeah, it's real funny.

SPEAKER_00 41:43

No, but this was so does it's not all anonymity. Well, so my thing with it, so like I hate the Oscars. I hate 'em. Sure. I I hate seeing just a bunch of rich people pat each other on the fucking back.

SPEAKER_02 42:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:02

And then I I know that this song, this song, that not this song, this movie was brought on and it was lauded and all that kind of thing. And I knew watching the Oscars that that was fucking bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Right.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Like everything on that whole fucking program, and and then sitting down to watch it, I'm like, oh, there it is. It's it's sexuality of teenagers, it's consumerism, it's you know, it's all those things, but it it has a extracultural lens on it that is and it's just fucking fuck this, man.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

Like and I looked and behold, a pale horse, and his name that sat on it was death, and hell followed him.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

Yes, yes, and that's what it feels like.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

Yes, that's what it feels like, and I I feel like Charlton Heston trapped on a planet of apes. Like before he explained what his political views were. That's what I feel like all the time. And it's like, I I don't want to sit there jacking off to these cartoon characters. So I mean, I'll do it.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

I'm not a I'm not opposed to I'll jerk off the characters.

SPEAKER_00 43:34

I'm not gonna say my jacking off to the character score is higher than my rewatchability.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. So I would I would jerk off to these characters if I if the movie didn't exist. I would just if I they like came up a lot, like if I was just going through just on the jerk off material. If I was going through jerk off material and they were on there and it was jerk off material, I jerk off to it. You know, I don't need this movie. This movie is uh superfluous. It'll it only it only makes it only makes movies worse. It doesn't make it doesn't make jacking off better.

Inserting Ourselves Into The Movie

SPEAKER_00 44:13

Uh exactly. Exactly. And oh we are so fucked. We are so fucked. Uh well, with that being said, I think it's time to insert ourselves into this film. So how does the movie change?

SPEAKER_02 44:38

Audience, calm down. We're not gonna insert ourselves that way. They'll still be totally pure.

SPEAKER_00 44:43

They'll be pure. You have nothing to worry about. Alright. Alright. Um stop furiously typing comments into our Reddit. Yeah, so well well, James, how does it change for you once you get involved?

SPEAKER_02 45:01

So uh obviously, I'm gonna go with the part of the movie that I identify with most. And uh I'm going to uh I'm gonna be the main demon guy because I, as you know, also abandoned my family to die. It's yeah, it's a common story where we're from, you know, Midwest. You gotta abandon your family to do what you gotta do. If you haven't abandoned your family to die, you haven't lived. And so uh so obviously that's me. I'm going into that position. I'm everything about me is the same. Everything about me is the same. Uh it's just me. And so when they first and so when they first see the boy band group and she gets the corn, the corn cob eyes and stuff, you know, I walk up from the back, turns into her, her eyes totally change to like a potato eyes. Bump with yeah, with the with the bump with the bump and the potato. And so we're still into it. She's still into it. Yeah, still into it. Still I've heavily I'm heavily sexual. I'm pure. Yeah, I'm pure for for the audience.

SPEAKER_00 46:14

I'm pure for the audience. I've been to Korea. Yeah, I've been to Korea, and like I've spent some time there. And uh you rolling up. You rolling up just with me?

SPEAKER_02 46:30

Wait, you're saying you're saying me? Yeah. Oh, you're saying because I look like because I because I like am exotic? Because so tall, tall and exotic.

SPEAKER_00 46:42

White men and black men lay pipe.

SPEAKER_02 46:47

I if I if I only had Korean media to go off of, I would think that Korean people never fuck. And in fact, they might be they might be allergic to each other.

SPEAKER_00 47:00

Well the interesting thing, the the most interesting for me, because I'm walking through Seoul, um, and you'll you'll because they have um they have such a thing about plastic surgery, like women do in the in the culture, and so you'll walk by supermodel after supermodel after supermodel, and the dude, her boyfriend following her looks like a foot.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

Like they don't have they're not all boy band guys, too.

SPEAKER_00 47:33

No, not a single fucking one. I didn't see a single fucking one. And that's dope. And then uh myself and the black chaps I was with roll into town, um, just to the whatever wherever we went, wherever we went, it was it was a thing. It was a thing. So yeah, she would see potato. She would see potato, and she would she's she's she's good to go.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

I wanna skin that potato.

SPEAKER_00 48:06

I might have to save you from that, but yeah, my part in this will be saving James from being skinned like a potato. Bake that potato. All of it. I'll I'll be there to save you.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

The the the scene where the the corns popping into the bowl would be like, I don't know, potato chips, potato chips, like curly potato chips flying out of her eyes. Just slicing them into an air fryer. And then and then we would all smoke weed and teach them how to fuck. We'd be all there'd be the five, five of us guys, three of them, we'd uh I'd teach them all how to fuck. None of us would be pure anymore.

SPEAKER_00 48:55

There you go.

SPEAKER_02 48:56

You guys can stop fucking worrying about it. Just be when you guys touch each other's hands, you don't need to freak the fuck out. It's just what people touch each other's hands. It's part of like being human.

SPEAKER_01 49:07

And then they're like, oh like touch other people's hands. What the fuck? Skin, like damn skin and I have skin. It's together. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 49:21

Yeah, it's pretty wild. Just go for it. It's fine. It's fine. It is totally fine. Wow. Yeah. Uh and for me, as uh as a well-adjusted human being, that makes for a much better film. I'm watching it going it's just it that's the jerk.

SPEAKER_02 49:40

It's it's actual jerk off material instead of this weird purity culture pseudo-jerk off material.

SPEAKER_00 49:46

Yeah, like let's just have some jerk off material. Edit five years. If we're gonna do this, let's fucking do this. Five guys on three guys on three five guys on three on three girls.

SPEAKER_02 50:04

Sure, whatever. I could I could teach them how to roll.

SPEAKER_00 50:07

We we could sweet peace, bro.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

This is what you do with this.

SPEAKER_00 50:13

So ten guys on three girls. We got we got a party. So we we got a fucking party here. Yeah, no, and so for me inserting myself into this, um I I guess I would be at the craft services table. Yeah. Making sure that everything's alpha gal friendly. That's good. It's good. Yeah. Like I yeah, like I would just be like making sure that we have a gluten-free option.

SPEAKER_02 50:39

Um I mean, a lot of a lot of Korean food would be very good for Alpha Gal and uh and gluten-free. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:46

So I mean that would I mean ramen wouldn't be uh generally.

SPEAKER_02 50:51

Yeah, it would like generally it wouldn't be gluten-free because a lot of wheat, a lot of soy sauce typically has wheat. Yeah, exactly. But you can get you can get just soy soy sauce. No, and they have they have they have a they have a word for it even at Taka Taki Takamiri Take.

SPEAKER_00 51:12

I I have some.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

I have it, I have some, yeah, I have some also. Tamari. Tamari. Tamari.

SPEAKER_00 51:19

Yeah, yeah. I would just make sure that at that as the ten of us are about to fucking lay pipe on these these three young women, uh, make sure that we have a gluten-free option for those of who are those of us who are sensitive.

SPEAKER_02 51:35

Like it look, if if some of those guys are real pretty, I'd get I'd I'd I don't I'd be all around. I'd be teaching everyone.

SPEAKER_00 51:43

Well, like some pretty men. Like it look, I mean, like, look, if we're gonna be inclusive, let's let's make sure that we have dietary restrictions covered. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 51:55

Yeah, and no, and I I think because I'd be that dude there concerned about that, people might think of my stamina as being low or my penis being small, but they would quickly be uh they'd find out that they are mistaken. Um, and then once once I have determined that we have options for everybody, I'm gonna lay some pipe.

unknown 52:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:18

Get a bucket of soju, get in there.

SPEAKER_00 52:22

Oh, yeah, that's the other thing. Like, uh, and then I'd be like, so something I haven't noticed around here, you guys being all famous pop stars and whatnot. Where the fuck are the drugs and alcohol?

SPEAKER_02 52:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:34

Um because I'm about to do them all.

SPEAKER_02 52:36

We we get we get high on the our fans' love.

SPEAKER_00 52:41

Uh-huh. Yeah, let me show you what it's like to really get high, and I'm gonna have her snort a line off of my erect penis. Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

Yeah, the real a real jerk off movie. That's what that's that's how this improves.

SPEAKER_00 52:56

Exactly. Just turn it into a real jerk-off movie. So there you have it, folks. Just turn it into a real jerk off movie. Wonder what Luke's gonna think of this. Me too.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

We really went off the rails without him.

SPEAKER_00 53:11

Yes, we did. He's our guiding light. We need him back. He's the he's our north star. That's why we call him Polaris. And yeah, and so yeah, like he'd be there too, and he'd be our north star, making sure that none of us are getting, you know, we're forgetting why we're there.

SPEAKER_02 53:27

He'd be he'd be the manager, and he'd just be off to the side nodding.

SPEAKER_00 53:30

Just that's good. That's good. That's good. That just like, hey, take this pill. It's been about 20 minutes and you're pushing ropes, so we need to get you, we need to get you back. Um and I I'd appreciate him for it.

SPEAKER_02 53:48

I'd appreciate him for it. We got guys, we need you at the concert. Just grab his face, shove, grab his face with one hand, shove him out of the way.

Closing Plugs And Final Take

SPEAKER_00 53:59

The the the demons have overtaken this city like half an hour ago, and we're all just noshing and having sex. So like, oh, is this gluten-free? You know it is, and that would be it. So, yeah, there you go, folks. Do with that one what you will. I'm your host, Ryan Barron North with me as our. James Groslin. Uh, thank you all for listening. Make sure, yeah, you follow, like, subscribe, do all the fucking things. Please. If you like this thing, help us out.

SPEAKER_02 54:34

Tell tell one of your friends next time you're next time you're with them. Be like, hey, do you love K pop demon hunters? Listen to this, listen to this episode where they talk about jerking off.

SPEAKER_00 54:46

They have some ideas that maybe we should listen to. Fuck purity culture. Bye. Bye.