High n' Dry Podcast
Hosted by Ryan Baron North, James Crosslin, and Luke, High n' Dry tackles film and philosophy with their patented 3-part method. What makes them so special and fun? One of them is drunk, and the other two are really, really high. Welcome to a drunken chat at 3 in the morning with your best buds. Come talk movies and philosophy, and get wasted along the way. New episodes every other week! Music by AlexGrohl @ Pixabay
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High n' Dry Podcast
The Guys Hate "The Creator": A Bone to Pick with Denzel Washington
Remember the days when X-Play was the highlight of your gaming universe? Neither do we. We spice things up with tales from our personal lives, recounting our recent lobster diving adventures and the sweaty challenge of surviving without air conditioning. As Halloween looms, we dish out our thoughts on the Silent Hill 2 remake, perfect for setting the spooky mood this season.
Ever wondered what makes a movie worth watching again? We unpack our unique "Luke method of filmology," evaluating films based on acting, cinematography, score, story, and the elusive rewatchability factor. This leads us to a spirited debate on the recent film "The Creator," where we critique its plot holes and underwhelming performances through a comedic lens. We also explore the enigmatic world of vampire films, arguing passionately that none can transcend a meager six out of ten. Sci-fi films aren't safe from our scrutiny either, as we dissect their unrealistic portrayals of futuristic tech and military strategies, all with a healthy dose of humor.
Finally, we dive into the chaotic world of AI depictions and retrofuturistic themes, drawing comparisons to beloved styles like "Fallout" and "The Jetsons." We engage in a whimsical 'what if' scenario, imagining alternate storylines that could have salvaged some of the films we critique. From satirical takes on plot inconsistencies to humorous riffs on character dynamics and military absurdities, this episode delivers laughs and critical insights in equal measure. Whether you're a sci-fi aficionado or just in it for the laughs, there's something here for everyone. So tune in, have a chuckle, and join us as we keep it real in the world of film and gaming nostalgia.
um no, it didn't feel like I was balls deep in the movie. It felt like the movie was balls deep in me and I was not enjoying it yeah, no, I was just kidding, I'm just taking it from all sides and it was less than I mean. It was consensual, it just wasn't. You know, you could tell that there wasn't any love in my eyes, you know yeah, yeah, yeah, so all right, hey, everybody, welcome to high and dry podcast, the only podcast keeping alive the fandom of x play.
Speaker 2:If anyone recalls that, it was the uh yeah, it was the g4 with the one guy and the one woman and they would talk about.
Speaker 1:They were talking about yeah yeah, we're clearly really big on this show you know, the one image that you see when it first comes up, it's both of them crossing their arms back to back which I think is hilarious.
Speaker 2:Sounds about right. Yeah, it was like morgan webb, I think was her name.
Speaker 1:They're they're playful but knowledgeable and a little not corporate. Right, I know they're just gonna talk about video games this was before.
Speaker 2:Uh, I don't know. I don't know why we needed that show and morgan, morgan webb and adam sessler there we go. I wonder how sessler's doing.
Speaker 1:Do you remember how important video games were to us at?
Speaker 2:that time.
Speaker 1:Like way more important than they should have been.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, for sure, for sure, my personality revolved too much around it. Yeah, I didn't tune into X-Play.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't tune into X-Play but I did read video game news and, like, engaged in video game conversations online a lot well, um, what a weird podcast that would be.
Speaker 2:Hey, we're doing x play, you know, with, with, with the guy, with the guy, but we're high and dry podcast. I'm your host, ryan barron north, with me, as always, james crossland and luke. Uh, how you guys doing today doing good, good Doing good.
Speaker 1:My AC's out, but I got a portable unit, so I'm okay.
Speaker 2:Now Fuck yeah, fuck, yeah, james, I'm doing all right.
Speaker 1:I'm going lobster diving tonight. Hopefully I get some this time. All the ones I caught last time were too small, and so I had to let them live For now. For now, eat Grow, I'll be back.
Speaker 2:Scars their back so he can find them again.
Speaker 1:That's a lot of shit.
Speaker 2:Oh well, yeah, and I'm speaking of video games. I picked up the Silent Hill 2 remake.
Speaker 1:I've been diving into that.
Speaker 2:I've been enjoying the hell out of it, just in time for October and spooky season.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like it was a good remake of it? Remaster of it.
Speaker 2:It was a total remake. Okay, they just rebuilt the thing ground up and I think they did a fantastic job, yeah, and it's taken me right into spooky season, and speaking of spooky season, we are going to be talking about the creator.
Speaker 1:And if you haven't seen it by the end of this, you'll understand why it ties to spooky season, because this was a horror.
Speaker 2:The fact that it's out there and you might accidentally watch it is terrifying. So we break our podcast down into three parts. First, we are going to review this film. As you can imagine, our reviews of this are going to be stellar, and we do that using the Luke method of filmology. Then we're going to move into our second part, where we get onto the golden path and we're going to talk about what makes this movie so deep and intriguing, and then we're going to dive into a what if? Scenario where we insert ourselves into the film. But what makes it so special and fun to enjoy is that we're going to be doing it drunk and or high. So, james, what are you smoking this week?
Speaker 1:This week I've got a concentrate called uh straw nana smoothie and it does taste a little bit like strawberry banana.
Speaker 2:It's really good okay, all right, not just ash what did you say?
Speaker 1:you said last week just a mix of some stuff. Yeah, this one is presumably has good taste.
Speaker 2:Single origin nice, very nice, very nice. And uh luke, uh, you just got some, uh, some gas station mix up that uh yeah, I'm actually just drinking gasoline today.
Speaker 1:I have something called cookie batter. Um, it does not taste like cookies, trust me. I love me some cookies and it tastes much worse than that. But as far as flour goes, it does taste pretty good.
Speaker 2:Well, very nice, very nice, and I will say, before going to mine, that I am now going to try and find a fourth host. Who is just going to fucking pound gas station boner pill. Who is just going to fucking pound gas station Bonerpil. It's just fighting this mind-numbingly terrifying erection through the golden bath Guys.
Speaker 1:I'm so scared.
Speaker 2:But anyway, I'm going to be joining you with Knob Creek. This is a small batch, 100 proof, 50 horsepower, aged nine years, crafted for quality and full flavor. I'm excited to go, so let's line them up. First toast, first hit. This one goes out to our newest listener up in the Yukon White Horse.
Speaker 1:Cheers, cheers, thanks Alaska. This one goes out to our newest listener up in the Yukon white horse cheers, cheers, thanks Alaska. Well, that's fun Alaska, that's new. I don't think we've had anyone from Alaska before no, I don't think so.
Speaker 2:oh, that was. That was delightful. Um, it's's like you go to a cigar bar and we'll spend a dude there for like four hours just fucking gnawing on a fatty. You guys get really drunk and make out Boner pills, bop, a bunch of boner pills. Next episode I'll crossfade, I'll do gas station boner pills and bourbon.
Speaker 1:It'll make it just a little more interesting. A little more exciting, if you will.
Speaker 2:Guys, I'm really scared right now. I think it is not going down. Ooh, yeah. So you know, speaking of gas station boner pills, you know they take a needle to help you with that. Yeah, If it doesn't go down after four hours.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they have to drain the blood out.
Speaker 2:Really yeah.
Speaker 1:Really yeah. So if you just could find a bunch of mosquitoes, you could take care of it yourself. Really, Leeches yeah, that's what I use. I just pop a couple gas station boner pills and then, right when I want to go to bed, I just a couple of leeches, oh come on and pass out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's part of my ritual. All right, so it's time for our second toast, second hit. This one goes out to the film. Here's to the creator.
Speaker 1:The creator. Yeah, cheers.
Speaker 2:I mean, you gave us content, glorious content.
Speaker 1:Reminds me of bo burnham and his inside special. He had something about content, just like consuming content, yeah, or about him making glorious. I can't remember the song.
Speaker 2:That's what my fucking I mean. I'm terrible at it. If I was really diving into the content, my social media would be much more active, but I just oh my God Drives me insane. I hate that part of it.
Speaker 1:It's horrible. Thanks for listening everybody. It's hard. Anytime someone asks me why I stopped streaming video games, I tell them it's not the streaming of the video game, it's the making content. It's a task and it's an art form too. Anyone can just put out content, but making good content and something that's digestible and something that people enjoy is hard.
Speaker 2:It's not easy to do Very difficult and something that people enjoy.
Speaker 1:It's hard, it's not easy to do Very difficult. It's hard to make it look easy, like the people who put in like 12 hours of editing.
Speaker 2:Oh, and that's oh for sure. You don't realize that that video that you just scrolled through, that took someone hours, Yep, oh my God. So here's the final toast, final hit, final shot. This one goes to those content creators just chugging along.
Speaker 1:Cheers. Doing their best out here. Cheers guys, Ooh.
Speaker 2:Ooh, all right, now I'm going to chase that with a whiskey and caffeine-free Coke just to sip on while we talk. So it's time to dive into the first part of this podcast. It's time to review the creator and, as I said earlier, we use the Luke method of filmology to determine what a film scores, and you can check more of that out at his individual content page. So, luke, do you want to walk us through what we're about to do?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we break this down into five categories. This is basically how a film should be rated in order to say it's truly a good movie. So the five categories are acting, and then it's cinematography, then score, story and then rewatchability. And personally I know that one's probably a more controversial one rewatchability but in my opinion, for it to be, there's a difference between a good artistic film and just a good movie. And rewatchability for me, if I don't want to put it on again, was it really a good movie.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, definitely there is a difference between enjoying it that one time, but I think overall.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, and you can like a movie and still accept that it is categorically a bad film a hundred percent.
Speaker 1:But I also believe that you can watch a really good movie.
Speaker 2:That's like heart-wrenching or something I want to watch also like I don't want to watch it again.
Speaker 1:Which which, which is fair, but it just that's why, something for to get a five out of five. You got to be able to put it on again like you can get that four out of five, and it's really good and it was like wow, I enjoyed that so much, but it's like take something off just just for, just for me, just for us personally so no, I'm not really gonna throw on the godfather again.
Speaker 1:I'm not really gonna throw on citizen kane for a third round shutter islands, one for me that I really, really loved shutter island for my first experience. But, man, maybe I'd put it on again in like 20 years because I'm like dang I forgot what that movie was like yeah, but like I wouldn't just throw it on again right now because I'm bored on a sunday, that's for sure same for me, it's Zootopia and I'll be able to handle it again.
Speaker 2:I actually got in a threads war speaking of content creation. I went on threads and I said that I love vampires obviously I mean, if you listen to the podcast in the past, you know that I'm a vampire guy and I said that there is no vampire film that scores higher than a six out of 10, period. And then I went to war with everyone who was obsessed with Lost Boys and I'm like, really Watch Lost Boys again. Watch like they impose just a random image of Jim Morrison. There's a sax solo. It's like this is a terrible movie.
Speaker 2:I feel like you've discounted dracula dead and loving it well, and someone brought that up and I was like I stand corrected I there's always one, though that's an outlier, you, but as a whole you would say, yes, six out of ten, but that's the outlier I would. I would give dracula, dead and loving it, a six, because Dracula, as Leslie Nielsen, did not win the film.
Speaker 1:It wasn't a vampire film. It was a vampire killer film. Yes, exactly no, it's as a vampire film, it's a 6 out of 10. As a vampire hunter film, much higher.
Speaker 2:Oh, through the roof, through the fucking roof. But we should have put some papers down, alright right, let's dive on in all right, we're not doing dracula, done loving it, we're doing a far worse piece of shit. We're doing the creator. Uh, let's dive on in. So, um, you want to kick this thing off? Uh, tell, what did you think of the creator before? That golden path is coming to me fast.
Speaker 1:So what did I think? What did I think of the creator?
Speaker 2:Actually, would you mind if I went first, now that I mentioned that I can feel this knob creek coming up hard, please, all right. So while I still have a normal mindset, let's talk creator. So acting I, I felt off the yeah, would I have paid you for it? No, honestly, I felt you were all just awful, denzelzel.
Speaker 1:Washington's Nepo Baby was not good.
Speaker 2:Not at all. Not at all, and I hate nepotism, but we'll do that in a golden path. Cinematography and animation. This film had some decent visual effects.
Speaker 1:Yeah, without a doubt, they're really good. I like the visual effects. I felt like the movement of the robots had weight and stuff. I felt 100, 100.
Speaker 2:They did a really good job no, you guys obviously spent a lot of money on making this a pretty looking film. I can't argue with that. I do have a note here, though, though, that at one point, nomad blew your budget. Yeah, and there were, there was a point where you saw that it just dropped off, yeah we're gonna do really simple scenery for the next 25 minutes like our effects department just had the lights shut off yeah, we're gonna do the next few scenes in a room.
Speaker 1:It's just gonna be people in a room talking, and then we'll, and then we'll overspur some shots of nomad we made with some b-roll yeah.
Speaker 2:So then when we come to the score and the story score, it brought nothing to the table for me. Story, uh, ridiculous. I mean, we're talking um realism here. This, this is this is what, fucking what? Um. First, like if, if you guys hate ai so fucking much, um, you would think of them as people. You wouldn't think of them as a computer program, um, which you claim to do. Second, this whole concept that the us military fucking throws all their eggs into the nomad basket.
Speaker 1:Yes, dumbest, dumbest fucking concept in the world literally, if the other side can just destroy one, like they said, the tides will turn. Man, why did you put all of you?
Speaker 2:why did we do that first off. So I'm I'm gonna be rolling pretty heavy in this episode. As a a, I've sat behind military threat briefings, all right. And what the us military will never fucking do is this Avengers nonsense, where there's just this floating machine in the sky. No, we create a missile that can insert itself through your front door, see what you're watching on Netflix, and then blow you up. Specifically that's what we do, and this concept that we created some avengers bullshit floating in the sky, like if we have the ability to let the nomad float through the sky without any sort of anti-air taking it out, we would just attach that to individual missiles and as soon as we knew there was a factory of ai, it would just go blow it up. That would be the end of it, and we would do it from fucking Florida.
Speaker 2:I don't know why they were there. I don't know why Ellen DeGeneres was down there leading these troops. I don't understand. And then rewatchability I could barely finish it. The first time I had to fight my it was like it was like that fucking zach, uh, snyder, bullshit all over again for me. Yeah, yeah, oh, my god, oh my god. What was the name of that movie? Rebel moon rebel moon.
Speaker 2:It was like rebel moon part 1.5 and I I'm sitting here having to sit behind it and, like this little girl robot, has the powers of an alexa and I'm supposed to be impressed you know, what's funny is, when we talked about rebel moon, we were like you know what would be a good story the story of that robot gaining sentience and then that happened.
Speaker 1:It's like nope, you did not nail that one either. If this is what the robot did.
Speaker 2:If this is what the robot did, zack Snyder should just be dragged out into a public square and executed.
Speaker 1:So if you had to give a score to those, what would they be Acting?
Speaker 2:two Cinematography, four, Score and story one.
Speaker 1:No, they're different, those are separate.
Speaker 2:Oh my bad Score, I don't know. Fucking two Story Story one. Yeah, rewatch ability a one okay yeah, that's, that's what it is for. Yeah, you could put ken waranabe in there, all you want underutilized underutilized. He should have been the star of that movie yeah, he should have been a child.
Speaker 1:He should have been a child with old man face it's ai, we could do stuff like that.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you've ever fucking seen the show on netflix with the amazing first season, um, where they have the stack altered carbon altered carbon. We could have done that where he was a child, and ken wananabe's body, which is how I feel every day.
Speaker 1:Also these robots. Why are they in humanoid form? Why haven't they developed new forms of physical interaction with the world?
Speaker 2:Why is there a big fucking hole in all of their heads? Why?
Speaker 1:did that one guy stick a screwdriver into the hole and he was like she's so advanced.
Speaker 2:What the fuck screwdriver was that and how?
Speaker 1:was it linked to his hand? I, I, no. You guys are you're confused? It was a magical wand and that is how it gave him all the information the moment.
Speaker 2:It was a spell new asia, new asia for real. Did you ask matt stone and trey parker to come up with the names of these fucking things?
Speaker 1:I literally I actually have a note that says the new language being called new asian sounds pretty fucking racist was current asia mad at this. Well, what's crazy is they speak like Asian languages. It says speaking Thai, it says speaking Japanese, and then, for some reason, there's this new Asian language. Like why?
Speaker 2:What happened? Oh my God, yeah, what the fuck happened. That Western, that fucking Denzel Washington's child, had a say on how Asia would form itself into a singular entity okay well, yeah, all right yeah, james, we need your score or else we need to get on.
Speaker 1:Those are some golden path. Yeah, I'm on the golden path right now and I am pissed off I think okay, so first acting, I think that, think that John David Washington was real bad. I don't think I've ever liked him in a movie that he's been in which is bad. You shouldn't have someone who mumbles and has no charisma. He doesn't have enough patience. He doesn't sell anything he says, he just says it and he's like listen, the fact that I'm saying it has sold it enough.
Speaker 2:I've said a thing denzel washington had life experiences that made him capable of activating those to be an actor.
Speaker 1:This guy didn't, apparently not. Uh, I thought jimmy chan was all right. She wasn't in it enough, she was only in that opening scene, which I liked, the opening scene. I thought, like I have notes, that I liked the opening scene and it kind of set me up and I was like all right, I think this might actually be a good movie I actually enjoyed probably the first 45 minutes pretty decently yeah, like, like, don't get me wrong generous, generous, generous, they found the robot in the dump.
Speaker 1:Even up to that point he was like, and he had to like, knock on her helmet and be like listen, it's just a robot you could see, I actually lied it was more like the first 20 minutes now that I really think about it yeah, like after that point it was bad, um. So I thought jimmy chan was good and she wasn't in it enough. I thought the little girl as an actress was good, the little robot girl.
Speaker 2:I thought 100 agree 100.
Speaker 1:Those are only two people and they didn't do enough. And also, john david washington was on the screen like all the time and he would not stop delivering lines badly, yes. So, uh, acting gets it too. Uh, cinematography and animation I liked the animation of this movie. I thought it was really cool what they chose to do. I think a better movie could have sold us on the nomad if it was like way over the top and they were like, if it was like more over, it had to be.
Speaker 2:It would have to be like a mech movie like a mech suit movie, like what the fuck did the nomad do? That we can't do with other shit, right?
Speaker 1:they could have sold today they sold us on pacific rim like that movie, despite its flaws. They sold it to us and we were like that's just because rihanna was in it no, there was the tone. It did a good, it did a comic booky kind of like goofy which they should have done.
Speaker 2:They should have done.
Speaker 1:They should have been goofy yeah, and this, this it was they took it to, exactly to it was like shitly don't seriously. Yeah, they thought this was a serious movie, and every time John David Washington delivered either a serious or comedic line, they told us that it was not any of those things, yeah so cinematography I'd give it like a four score.
Speaker 1:I didn't notice the score and usually that's good for me, but it also didn't make me feel hyped at any point or anything like that. So I give it a very middling. Three story man the story was real bad, I put. I put in my notes that this is that the nomad is just the mobile oppression palace from Futurama put in my notes that this is that the nomad is just the mobile oppression palace from futurama.
Speaker 2:The mobile oppression palace worked because it was a comedy and yeah.
Speaker 1:So nomad was real bad their whole. They didn't explore any of like the ai questions that they asked, like they put ai in front of us and didn't even didn't give us any of their culture or any of their motivations or anything like that. I thought it was just really God is awful.
Speaker 1:I'd give the story of one. How do you make Allison Janney on, you know, not compelling? Allison Janney is compelling in everything she does. Compelling Allison Janney's compelling in everything she does. I taught her I think I have something about Allison Janney and her being just like just a rough character, like yeah, someone put a rough draft of a character. I said Allison Janney's character is more of a robot in this movie than the robots, but not in a way that was compelling, even if that was like their point, like if they were trying to make like a no, it was not yeah how they were farther than from humanity, than even the robots.
Speaker 1:No, you just did a bad job. You made a really wooden person um storytelling. Yeah, like a one rewatch, billy, I don't want to watch this movie again. One I would never, never, I will never watch this well, yeah, honestly, your score was only one point better than ryan. So this movie is coming, having a rough, rough time already. Will luke save it? Oh, I have to say I don't think so acting. Um, like james said, I think that the the girl in this movie, what was madeline voyles? Madeline voyles, I thought she was phenomenal.
Speaker 1:I actually like I was very impressed, like I thought she pulled my attention quite a bit when it just sucks that they used her as a prop, yeah, but like, even just like she just had this, like she kind of portrayed this desire to be a kid who's like a military weapon, Like that's crazy to say, but she did, Like she came off very good, Like her character was portrayed well. Again, like James said, too, Gemma Chan was good. I think Ken's character was good, though vague, but again he delivered, because it's fucking Ken.
Speaker 1:Watanabe, he should have been the main character, yeah, so it gets a three for me. It's not it was nothing special, but it was. It was nothing special, but at the same time I thought like some of the characters were compelling enough to keep me interested. I also actually liked the uh ai robot. His name's Amar Chidapatel, he was the Omni, he was the Indian like Omni and I don't know. Like his character was kind of good, like very, very small, but for like kind of a side character, I thought it was interesting. So it got a three for me.
Speaker 1:Cinematography oh God, I almost gave it a five. I really did, but, like Ryan said, I do think that it fell off at times, but you could tell when they were trying, holy shit, like they were delivering. Those robots were insanely cool, their movements, like I at one point was thinking that they might have even used some sort of CGI Because like the way they moved it very fluid, it was very cool. I gave it a four, though, so I don't think it was able to get the perfect five. And then the score uh, very unmemorable. But there's a couple songs that I thought were pretty fun. Same time they were fun I don't know if they really fit the movie at the time. So, uh, it just lands right in the middle at a three for me Story is fucking god awful. I mean I could go on and on and on.
Speaker 2:And we will, on the golden path.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I have a random monkey detonated the fucking bomb that was on the side of the tank. Three beats are from explosion. What is this? Is this Reginald in our role-playing game?
Speaker 2:well, no like like what is happening. So that's golden path, that is golden dogs.
Speaker 1:I said okay, okay, okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. But yeah, it was horrible. I have nothing good to say about this story but at the same time there were points like the first 20 minutes were pretty entertaining. I did enjoy certain like I. I kind of got what they were trying to go for, so I got a one. I don't think it deserved a zero for that rewatch ability zero. I don't ever want to watch it again. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone to even watch the first time I didn't know zero was enough zero.
Speaker 1:Oh for sure, yeah, you can for sure give it zero I changed my rewatch ability to zero okay, so two points subtracted from zero, so a hundred percent it literally it was. I mean I wouldn't watch it again like I consider a zero, so I would consider a one. You would never watch it again, but you would tell somebody you gotta watch it once like it was no, no. Uh, I would not recommend the got to watch it once Like it was no, no. I would not recommend the creator to anybody.
Speaker 2:No, if I'm at a Thanksgiving with in-laws and they recommend, just because they're scrolling through Hulu, that we put on the creator on Thanksgiving, I will get in a physical altercation to keep that off. The television.
Speaker 1:Oh man oh my God.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, it it was, it was just it was rough. Like you know, you can't say it wasn't, it was uh, I'm getting I messed up the the score real quick so I'm finishing my score up again but it was, it was rough, it was just not a good movie in in any way, shape or form. So, yeah, it's gonna end up at a. Yeah, the rewatch ability I think zero is really important because, like the only reason I'd want to watch this movie again is because jimmy chan, I want to watch her in anything she's in. I would. I'll just turn on the it crowd. She was. She was in the it crowd countdown episode as a countdown groupie.
Speaker 2:That's right, that's right. And she said will I see you later tonight? Yes, that's her.
Speaker 1:So I'll just watch that scene whenever I want to look at Jim and Jay.
Speaker 2:I would do the same thing for Veronica. No.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, she was a pretty minor character in this one too.
Speaker 2:When they killed her, I was like you guys had me for 30 seconds.
Speaker 1:I know, I thought the same thing. I was literally. I went holy fuck, like, are you like?
Speaker 2:I literally said it out loud when they blew I was like you guys had me for 30 seconds, but for those 30 seconds I was on team new asia. Well, this movie important this movie.
Speaker 1:I mean I thought this was gonna end up total at a one but it ended up getting a two out of five for high and dry total. Out of all of our scores two out of five, because it had good effects.
Speaker 2:It had good effects.
Speaker 1:The effects for sure saved the score. It did, and like it was mediocre in other places too. It was man. They did not deliver on that story. Oh my god, it was just an unwatchable movie yeah, absolutely watchable.
Speaker 2:So, folks at home um, don't think that two out of five is a good score, because it's not all right. Um, so, folks at home, why would anyone think? That two out of five is a good. Yeah, don't think it's a good score, um, because we could have given this a zero, but it had good effects.
Speaker 1:If you're watching, just watch a YouTube video about its effects. Don't watch the movie, just go watch, because that would be cool do a compilation of all the scenes, the b-roll they have of Nomad, with like some kind of music over it, and then you'll be like wow so now?
Speaker 2:so, at that point, it is time to get on to the golden path and, despite this film having already been done in 2001 by AI, with Haley Joel Osment and Jude Law, we're going to jump onto the golden path right now with the creator. But first it's time to take our final shot, final hit, final toast, final drug. This one, this one goes out to? Uh, so far, well, I can't say that. Well, james, I I need to ask you, jane, was this better than Rebel Moon?
Speaker 1:No, I'm sorry. Wait, wait, hold on. Sorry. Yes, this one was better than Rebel Moon. Sorry, I apologize.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Rebel Moon, rebel Moon, I was so bored. This one I at least was able to take notes. Rebel Moon, I like had to turn off and then come back so many times.
Speaker 2:And finish later because it was so full my eyes fucking rolled back in my head. Alright, so Rebel Moon, fuck you. Here is to the creator being able to beat Rebel Moon by the fucking hair of its nuts.
Speaker 1:Shout out to your visual effects. This one goes out to the creator's visual effects. Yeah, cheers, they had a weight that Rebel Moon's effects did not have.
Speaker 2:Cheers, all right. So with that, folks at home, it's time to dive onto the golden path. We are now sufficiently drunk and high. It's time to really lay out to, to put the creator on its back, spread its legs and see what this film was about. James, what are your golden thoughts?
Speaker 1:this movie wasn't about anything. This movie, this movie was about a word game about Asimov's laws of robotics that they didn't set up. And then at the end they were like we have a word game and it was like in five minutes the last five minutes, that was the point of the movie Like goddammit. So dumb.
Speaker 2:What the?
Speaker 1:fuck. This movie was a bad movie. One thing that I can say that I liked was the retrofuturism of robots. It almost had like a Fallout feel at the beginning it's very funny because I said I can't tell if it's the year 1991 or 2191. Oh my god. At the beginning it was like the Jetsons almost when they had the rise of robots.
Speaker 2:Well, I was with you guys in that one, because in my notes I had said that, hey, maybe we should spend less money on robot cops and more money on infrastructure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Nuclear bomb resistant infrastructure Nope.
Speaker 2:Fuck.
Speaker 1:All the money went to the police tanks and police robots. Yeah, I said I really liked how quickly it went from robots being used to like replace workers to beating and shooting people like it was really really quick transition in like the opening, and it went from like hopeful to like no. I thought it was good, though it went from like hopeful to like a really dark and I was like, oh man, maybe this movie is gonna be like fucking good.
Speaker 2:It's gonna say I thought it was gonna be dark too and I was like, oh man, maybe this movie is gonna be like fucking good, it's gonna say.
Speaker 1:I thought it was gonna be dark too and I actually said as well that why are they like cutting out like violent moments? I almost wanted it to like lean into that, like be dark, like make this like a yeah, let's do it, let's yeah I was like come on, send it, and then it did not, and I was like no, instead it was just a commentary on chinese economic growth.
Speaker 1:Very bizarre, very it was bizarre and it like it put it kind of like caught me off guard because I I thought this movie, I thought this movie was like in line with values and was going to have something to say. It was like it seemed like a cohesive values at the beginning because I wrote like I'm surprised how well the movie is making me empathize with our character, like in that first scene where where he was like where jimmy chan is pregnant, as like the movie's compassion for terrorists and refugees and this disdain it has for power and the military and deceit and coercion I was tricked to immediately undermined.
Speaker 1:You know they're like oh you're gonna like him, oh, you're going to like him, and then they just try to fight that thought. The rest of the movie they're like no, no, no, you're not going to like him.
Speaker 2:Just kidding, just kidding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this movie made me think it was a different movie, and I don't know why that is. I wonder if this movie traded hands with writers and directors. A couple times I forgot to go look because I was so mad at this movie.
Speaker 2:I did not want to think about it anymore.
Speaker 1:I was like this movie. I think it's worse when a movie builds up your expectations that it's going to be good and then fumbles really hard. It gives me this sense of disdain about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it makes me so. The performance here was so awful that it makes me mad at Denzel Washington For emptying his balls into someone. He emptied his balls into my fucking eyes.
Speaker 1:Thanks a lot, Denzel.
Speaker 2:God damn it. Like, why do I have to go to work every day when fucking Denzel's fucking pre-cum doesn't? Oh, I'm so mad, I'm so mad. So, luke, what did you think?
Speaker 1:I think could have real bit like the handover of the director thing, may actually kind of make sense to me because I think, well, yes, the first 20 minutes were definitely pretty good, the rest was pretty rough. I would argue that if you finished the movie, tied it up in maybe 30 minutes to 45 minutes after that first hour mark, you could have saved it. It could have been a good movie. But they just drug it out for another hour in 15 minutes, dude I, when I looked and it was an hour through, I was like I was like, oh cool, we're kind of coming to a resolution. I paused because I was like, oh, it's almost done. I saw an hour 15.
Speaker 2:I almost lost my mind. I did the same thing the same time I almost lost my fucking mind.
Speaker 1:Listen, luke.
Speaker 1:You just don't understand that good filmmaking means you gotta have a second time when an animal drops a bomb on the enemy and you gotta also put like a half hour padding on either side of that you can't just it's too obvious if that is quoted directly from the textbook of zach snyder's school of movie making yeah so, but my from the book the golden path thought I actually had was this movie almost had this like underlying tone of like the kind of the war on terrorism in the 90s, this like we'll find all terrorists, no matter who they are, you to give them to us, kill them too, and they like would come into these rooms throughout the movie and be like get the ai, kill them all. Like all this stuff. It was really on theme with it and I was like if we didn't learn a damn thing the first speech was what it was for me.
Speaker 1:I was like that literally sounded like a fucking speech right out of the 90s about terrorism, straight out it was. It was very weird to me. So that was a thought that, like I was like are you guys trying to go for that or are you guys just doing this on accident because it is real? I think it was real, I think it was on purpose, I think it was on purpose and that's what made me excited for the movie. And then they loved it. But at the same time it was vague, though After that first time it was only a couple times you got that moment, but I saw it. I was like, oh, you did.
Speaker 1:Why didn't you really lean into that, see? But even if they did, they'd still be fucking 20 years too, goddamn late and this would get a three out of five.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you're not wrong. You're not wrong. Yeah, it was just like I was like oh interesting, like it was something that I was like for such a shitty movie. I'm like very interesting theme you've chosen to like kind of like just sneak into there like yeah, and the speech was very much on. But even throughout the movie I saw like an hour, 15 hour and a half in where they still were like coming into like rooms and it sounded almost like raids when they're kicking doors in like early in the middle east, and I was just like dang, like yeah, like like interrogating the uh, when they went to that island they're like interrogate, just tell me where the ai are. Like oh, like that's fucking and I know that shit happened over there.
Speaker 2:So like it's, it's interesting it was an interesting thing to the movie.
Speaker 1:So no, if, if your ai futuristic film can be a counterpoint to chris kyle's the sniper, well, I think it's like evergreen right, essentially like now that modern combat is the way it is, that that could be like an evergreen statement about what's happening in, like israel and palestine, or what's happening with russia policing its border, its border countries, and shit like that. Like it's not, it's now, like it's how modern warfare works is that you send a small team of people into a civilization and fucking harass them constantly.
Speaker 2:But even then they should have made that clear, and so from my golden path yeah, it's bad. It's bad, yeah. And so for my golden path thoughts here. This should have at least been a new commentary on ai. But you didn't even accomplish what was done in 2001 by goddamn fucking jude law. Um, like holy shit.
Speaker 2:Uh, hayley joel osmond with a teddy bear did more than you could have and fucking jude law played just a male prostitute ai um and and jude law didn't have a fucking hole in his head, because I feel it's a really weird design choice to allow unfettered access of dust and debris into the brain stem of your piece of equipment here I mean like yeah it looks sick.
Speaker 1:If you want to, if you want to go into like arguing how their magic robots work, it's already gone too far. You know, like yeah, you can just download someone's mind real quick and then just upload it like it's cool. Yeah, they did that. They did that, they downloaded someone's brain and they were like, yeah, something, I said something about the body. Like oh my god. Like imagine waking up seeing your dead body.
Speaker 2:Like oh my, that's horrific oh my god, why the fuck was Ellen DeGeneres' and Martha Stewart's child the one who was leading?
Speaker 1:Who are you talking about?
Speaker 2:The lead ground troop.
Speaker 1:Allison Janney. Yeah, it was Allison Janney, but the guy with the mustache, mark Menchaca McBride, was his character.
Speaker 2:I appreciate Allison Janney as an actress and for the piece of shit that they handed her. She did the best she could yeah it was awful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, both Luke and I said that she was. How do you make Allison Janney not a great actress?
Speaker 2:Oh my God. But like there's a level of realism like, hey, you know, in order to hold up an assault rifle for 16 hours, before you take a four hour nap, you need to have a bicep Like she can't like anyway. Anyway, golden, golden path thought here you had a chance to comment on AI and what you did instead was fucking nothing. You did fucking nothing and you were also borderline no, I wouldn't even say borderline you were racist while you did it.
Speaker 1:For sure, and I actually like that's the whole reason. I even suggested this movie when I did because I thought, like the AI themes were very heavy and I really saw something I was like, okay, like that could for sure be a good film to talk about. Did not deliver at all in any way, shape or form no, no.
Speaker 1:So yeah, golden path, go fuck yourself there was one more thing that you what you were saying kind of kind of triggered in me that I didn't really think about. Why didn't the the ai of new asia just have someone who lives there, kill jimmy chan? Like, why did they have to drag fucking denzel washington's kid all the way from america to kill her? Couldn't?
Speaker 2:just any human have done it no, a bullet seems just as effective here. And you're telling me that the technology that we see today in a fire tv and alexa bluetooth, it only exists in this child and it is the only thing that could wipe out the thing in the sky that America decided to put all their eggs in the basket.
Speaker 1:Why not EMPs? Why not electromagnetic pulses? That'd be very quick to just yeah.
Speaker 2:Immediately have they not played Helldivers.
Speaker 1:That's the most effective way to handle the automatrons.
Speaker 2:God If you launch a nuclear device and have it detonate in the high altitude, it will release every. Every nuclear device that has ever been launched, ever, ever exploded, ever releases an emp. If they all they had to do to end this movie was release a single thermonuclear device in the high altitude, it would not kill anyone well, a lot of people would die, but because, as their cars and trains and planes, fail, it would not kill anyone directly through the explosion.
Speaker 1:A lot of indirect killing of many, many people.
Speaker 2:That obviously didn't bother New America, because they kept sending the Nomad. Yeah, the Nomad kept blowing places up entirely. That didn't bother them at all. So all they had to do instead of creating the Nomad was a single, a single nuclear device from America's stockpile of 6,000 of them in the high altitude above New Asia. And that's you mean Asia? No, this is New Asiaia. They're all together, so it's easier for white people to understand so fuck, just move generic people who look different.
Speaker 1:Got it holy I have to say, a good point. When someone said that uh, good old john david was on the screen for far too long, this movie could have been jumping back and giving us like more, more story on, uh, alice and jamie and really giving us more background on their hunt for a two hour ten minute movie. You could have really developed all of your characters and instead you just kept giving us more john david baby. Oh, my god, I just for the life of me will never understand why you did that. I feel like you had the criteria because of the creator.
Speaker 2:Denzel washington deserves to be punched in the stomach like curl over the fist and you look and then throw up on the sidewalk.
Speaker 1:You look right in his kid's eyes and it's like this is your fault. You're doing this to your dad. You did this.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to do this. You should go to school and find a normal fucking job like the rest of us, you talentless hack, and then we kick Denzel Washington and then walk away, all right. So it's time to get into the third part of this thing. This will be the episode that gets us at cease and desist.
Speaker 2:Finally um so it's time to get into the third part, the what. If so, we have all been inserted into the creator. What changes luke? Uh, go ahead and set it off. What changes with you in the creator? I meant james james. What changes with you?
Speaker 1:I was ready for luke to go. I can, I can take it. I can take it. All right, luke. What do you got? Truth be told, I hope I'm not in this movie. Do I have to be? You are forced you are forced you could. How about, oh, you go, you go. I probably, uh, as they said in the movie, would have uh turned myself off. I would have turned myself, you'd be an ai, I would have gotten.
Speaker 1:I would have like five times been like what the fuck, what the fuck, and just turned myself off because I I just couldn't be able to handle this just stupidity of this world and the fact that this giant floating device has all the power over this entire civilization. Um, I don't think I would be on the side of america. I have to say, that was not pain. I did not want to be an american in this movie, so I would hope that I'm on this like ai side. I feel like they.
Speaker 1:They had a lot of, um, the way too much emotion, as I mean, these are people's conscience, consciousnesses, uh, basically uploaded to these bodies. In my opinion, like it's not just a robot and so like for them, for the americans just be like dead, like that's an ignorant thought. It's very, very simple, minded, and I would not. So I think I would have been on the side of the ai um, and I probably would have got blown and blown up by the, uh, the floating god and sky, unfortunately, which only covered a square mile, like I don't, yeah, yeah like somehow it would just start floating into the sky and they had no clue it was coming.
Speaker 1:It's enormous and super high up and, like they don't know until it's on top of them, like yeah, but it just yeah I have zero fucking anti-aircraft, like for real nothing.
Speaker 2:No, it's someone.
Speaker 1:Shoot that thing that's why the little girl was built dude, no anti-aircraft, she is anti-aircraft oh my god so yeah, I don't think I would actually be able to change the plot much.
Speaker 1:I think there's just too much stupidity going on around me and I would just, unfortunately, fall to the demise of the plot, um, which is getting blown up by the omega. I actually think it might have fallen on me as it got blown up because they like like portrayed it like, oh no, it didn't hit anything, it was over something at the end of the movie, but then it like somehow didn't land on anything.
Speaker 1:So that was also odd and also, it crashed into a literal planet. This has happened several times in movies we've watched recently, where a thing that has to be millions of tons in weight, if not more, uh, it collides with an immovable object and then it's somehow still has structure. What the fuck Think about?
Speaker 2:it, it would cause catastrophic damage.
Speaker 1:Uh, something that size plunging into the earth would cause almost as much damage as a bomb. It's a meteor strike, oh my God. Yeah, and I want to hear you guys what would you guys do in this one?
Speaker 2:Do you have a what? I have my what, if I know what I'm going to do.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, go, go for it, I'll go last yeah.
Speaker 2:So if you watched um the creator with uh, oh, yeah, go, go for it, I'll go last. So if you watched the Creator with Ryan Barron North, I would spend my entire time just trying to get the Veronica no Robot to fall in love with me. You'd be the mechanic.
Speaker 1:You're stealing Drew's girl.
Speaker 2:I would like write her poetry and I would songs and just like hey why does stealing her have to be part of it? Why can't you just be the?
Speaker 2:mechanic because I'm not, I'm not, I'm not that fucking lucky. I had to watch the creator, um, so I, I know that I'm the outside looking in and I just can't let her go. But then eventually we'd get together and I'd say, hey, you remember, in the first 10 minutes when they check off, gun the fuck out of you guys being able to create faces for yourself. Why don't you fill in that hole in this? Don't, don't get me wrong. I appreciate fucking it and it's really cool when you let me do that. But like, why don't we just apply a layer right there and you would be completely indistinguishable? I, I don't understand. That seems like a weird design choice to me, and that would be the film me trying to explain that. Like, hey, I thought you were intelligent. Like that's the second part of your name. Why don't we just close that up? And then new america would have no fucking idea what to do what would they do?
Speaker 2:yeah, what would they do?
Speaker 1:and you know, fucking no matter they encountered in the head with an ice pick to see if it went straight through or not?
Speaker 2:yeah, so many deaths, so many deaths, but they obviously don't care um james so in the opening scenes they had something really interesting that happened.
Speaker 1:I think that, uh, I think that I would be the grandpa. Do you remember when they were like touting the uh, the ai, like what I was doing for people and there was a little kid with an ai grandpa, I was like what a great role to be like a grandpa ai, where you just go around being grandpa to people.
Speaker 2:To fill in that role.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a beautiful way to use it, yeah.
Speaker 2:Like honestly.
Speaker 1:This is our community. Grandpa the real grandpa is out in the fields. We're working.
Speaker 2:He'll die soon because you know it's the future.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I'd do. That's it Okay, solid. I'd be murdered very soon after by the United States.
Speaker 2:They killed my grandpa again. Oh my God, all right. So, with that being the case, so we know our what-ifs dead grandpa, um, and whatnot. Uh, it's time for our quick fires. Uh, james, you want to start us off on our quick fires of this particular piece of wasted iphone space? I guess is what this is yeah sure, let me see.
Speaker 1:Uh, I cannot think of a more overwrought and cliched melodramatic scene than a child asking what's heaven?
Speaker 2:oh, my god, I didn't even think about that I did cringe.
Speaker 1:I was like what's happened?
Speaker 2:So dumb Only a. Nepo baby would have read the script and gone Yep, yep.
Speaker 1:That is it. I would say also, let's see, hold on One of my other notes. Was anyone have fun after? Do you remember their attempt at comedy? Anyone have fun when the car was getting shot up with the bullets and he had all the like refugee kids in the back and that's like, that's their big, like oh, we're being playful. One like an avengers movie or like a marvel movie. I have a note.
Speaker 1:I have a note here, which is someone was like this is where we need to. We need to put a line, and this is where a marvel movie would put a joke oh, dang nomad was literally that stupid fucking avengers thing in the sky. The us military doesn't work that way, so true yeah, honestly, I didn't have a lot of great quick fires. I say, turn it over to luke, luke what do you?
Speaker 1:got, I've got. I actually just I was just writing stuff because it's more funny than anything, this movie, if you really if you wanted to watch it, like that's how you'd have to watch it. I did say blonde afro is a very bold choice. Then, uh, baby denzel is punching out of his league so hard with maya holt, and then dot, dot, dot dot. Holy shit, she's dead, because I did not expect that to happen. Oh, that one girl was literally looking at charred bodies, the one that was working with joshua. She didn't bat an eye. Then he cuts the robot line and she's like oh my god. He said please, I was like what, don't get me wrong, you should feel that way. There was no empathy for the charred bodies at all. Kind of weird. Everyone would have heard those choppers dropping in on that one covert mission they were dropping in on. I'm 20 minutes into this movie and I only remember one character's name I remember none of them my truck broke down.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile there's bullet holes and a dead body in the back truck. The guy's like, yeah, get in with all my kids. Yeah, drew's just living his best life, hot wife and a good job. And then this old, toxic piece of shit comes in and ruins it seriously it's so true, like he's just, he's like killing it, he's made it into the ai industry. Like he's like, he's like it looks clearly like a head of a manufacturing plant and yeah I should never have poked my screwdriver into that kid I've done five seconds.
Speaker 1:I've learned everything about it. The us army being pasted on the side of that big ass tank in new roman, like times new roman, made me laugh. It was literally just like a really like weird basic font. Oh, all lowercase as well. Um, I understand that the guy was like I'm never taking you to normada. And then they needed to take the kid to normada and it was like, okay, we'll all go to normada. Oh, you can't do that. Like why that's? You don't have to take joshua, just take the kid. Please don't take joshua. That's the whole thing. Zero injuries after being at the center point of explosion. Maya, she's laying on that table. She looks beautiful, still beautiful. She was at the center point of an explosion. She would be, I mean, very injured. She probably shouldn't have even been alive at all. Um, and then also, not a single chance that that small child could possibly pull a grown man any amount of distance Right. Zero chance. And that's all my quick fires, that's all.
Speaker 1:I've got.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I'm coming at you with. So if you really felt AI weren't people, you wouldn't hate them so much. Nomad is the dumbest basket to put all your eggs in. This is fucking Avengers stupidity.
Speaker 2:All on the Marvel thought I'm sitting here waiting for the double cross, double cross. Um wow, you guys check off, gun the shit out of them wearing other people's faces. Let's see here if we can make nomad immune to air defenses, wouldn't it make more sense to make theater ballistic missiles with this capability Fire anywhere without the need for Nomad, and cheaper.
Speaker 1:It's like you know where Nomad would be great On the ground, In one place.
Speaker 2:Right, I'm having difficulties understanding the economic capabilities of New Asia. New Asia, it's like the writers asked Max Stone and trey parker to name this and then I said was current asia mad at this movie? Have we just said fuck it? To precision weaponry?
Speaker 1:yeah, man, denzel washington's kid is also not precision. No one in this movie is precision. In fact, the AIs are even less precise than the people, and it's just like it seems like everybody is, like we don't give a shit about any kind of precision.
Speaker 2:Nothing, nothing. And then I said wait, the advanced child surprises the man when she exerts effort to display the same powers as a television remote control. And then I said ellen and martha stewart's hybrid is a weird choice for field agent. Let's see, it feels like dust and debris. Having unfettered access to the ai's brain cylinder is a strange design choice. Uh, maybe less money on cop robots and more on infrastructure. Why are we so amazed? This kid has all the powers of an alexa and then looks like nomad. Finally ate the cgi budget. And then my last note was does america believe in valhalla now, or is she just saying shit?
Speaker 1:I think america was taken over by those runic nazis makes sense?
Speaker 2:makes sense or a leftover? Viking group finally sailed over it took over.
Speaker 1:The us was so concerned with the ai that we stopped watching. We let the ball drop we were they were playing the long game that would make.
Speaker 2:That would make this movie 2,000% better.
Speaker 1:They just come up with a prequel about that. Like the origin Started off just raiding lighthouses in the northeast.
Speaker 2:I would release a statement that High and Dry was wrong.
Speaker 1:This is the greatest franchise of all time. This is the greatest movie ever made. When you said something about the kid, who got the face, I was like. When he said all I need is the greatest movie ever made, I did. When you said something about the kid I got the face. I was like. When he said all I need is a face, then all I could think is about when fogel says in super bad, you don't have the training or the steady hand to pull off a procedure like that.
Speaker 2:So ha, oh my god dude, I'm just thinking about the, the side film directed by Zack Snyder Zack Snyder's the creator when it shows a fucking Viking boat just floating and they're creating children and generational just floating on the coast of New York, waiting for their moment, on the coast of New York, waiting for their moment, and then, in 2224, the moment arrives and the Vikings invade America. My perfect chef's kiss. I get it now. I get it now. This wasn't a dumb movie, it was a genius movie. Oh my God now. This wasn't a dumb movie, it was a genius movie.
Speaker 1:Oh my god. So one more time. What? What did high and dry get? This final score was a two out of five. But don't let that, don't. Don't let it fool you. Like we said, you watch a youtube video about the visual effects and that's it. Yeah, don't you put it on. It'll be a waste of two hours and 15 minutes. This is not a good bad movie, this is just a bad, bad movie yeah, bad, bad movie.
Speaker 2:I feel honestly, I feel almost guilty because fucking prometheus and tombstone got a three and I and that does not do them justice, but no like yeah I'm offended that the creator got so close to Tombstone and Prometheus, the animation.
Speaker 1:people did their job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:That just goes to show what a good you know the background, how important they are to movies. In all honesty, it really does a testament to that in all, honesty.
Speaker 2:Clap for the grips at the end. If fucking keanu reeves was in the creator, all the cgi people would be getting new motorcycles. So hey, everyone. Uh, thank you so much for listening. The creator sucks, ken warunabe. Shame on you for being a part of this, you fucking slut, but we still love you. Denzel, you deserve a punch in the stomach.
Speaker 1:Okay, at least and you'll thank us for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he's like nah, you right and for the listeners at home. I can't stand my kid either. I can't stand him either. And for the listeners at home.
Speaker 1:I can't stand my kid either I can't stand him either.
Speaker 2:And for the listeners at home if you want to watch the Creator, just check out 2001's AI, artificial Intelligence, jude Law, haley, joel, osment they're the true heroes of this. Thanks everyone for listening. We're High and Dry Podcast Bye. What's happening? Fuck you Denzel.
