High n' Dry Podcast
Hosted by Ryan Baron North, James Crosslin, and Luke, High n' Dry tackles film and philosophy with their patented 3-part method. What makes them so special and fun? One of them is drunk, and the other two are really, really high. Welcome to a drunken chat at 3 in the morning with your best buds. Come talk movies and philosophy, and get wasted along the way. New episodes every other week! Music by AlexGrohl @ Pixabay
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High n' Dry Podcast
Its "Huckleberry": High n' Dry Takes on Tombstone
Ever found yourself cheering for a hero who’s not so heroic? We kick off this episode of the "High and Dry Podcast" with a toast to confusion and camaraderie, reminiscing about "Greg the Bunny" and how humor has aged over time. Amid the sweltering heatwave stories, we raise our glasses (and joints) to the timeless Western, "Tombstone." Dive into our initial impressions while we indulge in Acapulco Gold, strawberry shortcake resin, and Kentucky straight bourbon. Kurt Russell's mustache? Worth every puff and sip.
Get ready for a no-holds-barred critique of "Tombstone," where we dissect everything from its pacing quirks to its mixed bag of acting performances. Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday is a standout, while Bill Paxton didn’t quite hit the mark. We weigh in on the film’s traditional score and its impact on the viewing experience. Our unique blend of technical insights and personal takes offers a fresh perspective on this star-studded Western. And let's be honest, sometimes nostalgia gets in the way, but we’re here to keep it real.
As we shift gears, our conversation gets deeper, exploring the romanticization of flawed heroes like Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday. The episode wraps up with a sardonic reflection on heroism, morality, and those iconic cowboy stories that have shaped our cultural landscape. From the complexities of regret to the impractical yet legendary imagery of cowboys, we tackle it all with humor and honesty. Tune in for an engaging mix of critique, nostalgia, and thought-provoking discussions that will leave you pondering the true nature of heroism.
Oh, I know that shit. We didn't start yet. Fuck, I wasted it.
Speaker 2:James, I am rolling.
Speaker 1:Or is this the test? Are we testing? No, this is it no?
Speaker 2:this is it no.
Speaker 1:This is it, you nailed it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're doing just fine, Okay, well, hey, everyone, welcome to High and Dry Podcast, the only podcast keeping alive the fandom of Greg the Bunny a high and dry podcast, the only podcast keeping alive the fandom of greg the bunny.
Speaker 1:You know, I when in the past when we watched those greg the bunnies they were a bit funny but man, were they hard on edgy humor that did not age.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, oh yeah, without a doubt. Without a doubt, and that's what makes this podcast so difficult uh, to come back to every fucking day. Um, but you know, we promised, uh, we promised seth green that uh, we were.
Speaker 1:We were in his corner. Yeah, the thing is is that like there was, just the rules were very gray. Back in the 90s, 80s, it was uh. Yeah, the morality was lacking in those times. So when you're coming back to him now, you're like yeah, I might have laughed at that before, I'm not really laughing now, but we did shit for shock value.
Speaker 2:Well, uh, hey, out there my thick kings. I'm your host, ryan baron north with me, as always, james crossland, luke. Um guys, how's this going?
Speaker 1:uh, things are going okay, it's. Uh, it's hot as balls in california, I'm sure, but it's hot everywhere, like record heat across the country we don't have an air. We don't have an air conditioner because, like uh always, it's always been uh, people near the coast don't need one is what I've always heard and so when it gets to like 80 or so, we start to suffer, but the temperature doesn't get much higher than like 83 or so on San Diego coast, so it's not horrendous. I know people are going through much worse.
Speaker 2:Oh, there you go.
Speaker 1:It feels like 105 in Orlando right now. Damn yeah, it is warm. I've got to say I actually was golfing on Sunday and I thought I had heat poisoning. I felt sick afterwards. It was so hot outside.
Speaker 2:Well, so for those of you joining us for the first time, we are a.
Speaker 1:How are you, Brian? Yeah, I'm skipped watching on you really uh tried to skip over that I have to say I'm as happy as the next man I guess who's the next man?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's billy zane you know, I wonder if he's doing okay, uh he was actually just recently in a music video and he fucking killed it.
Speaker 1:But oh, did he.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's great I'll have to pull that up, but uh, so anyway, this is those of us joining us for the first time. I'm doing fine, we? I? Said I'm fine, I'm fine, okay. So we're a comedy podcast, philosophy, all that kind of fun stuff, but we, today we're going to be breaking down the film Tombstone, that's the one featuring Val Kilmer, and fucking.
Speaker 1:Kurt Russell Kurt.
Speaker 2:Russell Bill Paxton.
Speaker 1:Sam Sam.
Speaker 2:Elliott, sam Elliott, uh, fucking, uh. I even saw Sling Blade was in there um uh, stephen Lang, billy uh. Billy, uh, billy Joel. Bob Thornton, bob Thornton, bob Thornton. There it is Michael Rooker. I do not know the act of that one.
Speaker 1:Michael Rooker was what's his name? Shandu, or one of those people in Gardens of the Galaxy? He was the blue guy. Yeah, shandu, michael Rooker is great.
Speaker 2:He was in the zombie TV show too. We're going to break this down in a three part method. Part one we're going to dive into our normal thoughts on the film off the cuff, and we're also going to rate this movie with Luke's patented method. Part two we're going to get into our more deep thoughts. We're going to think hard about this film and what it really means. And in part three, we're going to do a what if? Where we insert ourselves, drugs and our alcohol into the film, and what makes it so special, so memorable and just so amazing, um, is we're going to be doing it drunk and or high. So, uh, james, uh, what are you smoking this week?
Speaker 1:uh, this week I've got a little bit of uh, of that same acapulco gold, but this time I've mixed in the keef that's been gathering in my reservoir of many different strains, and so I call this keef fairy dust. And so I'll be having, or maybe I should call it tombstone sand or something, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Tombstone sandy dust.
Speaker 1:Blood in the sand.
Speaker 2:Or Billy Zane's eye glitter oh, there we go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got some billy zane's eye glitter on top of my acapulco. That's the good stuff luke.
Speaker 2:What about yourself? What do you bring into the table?
Speaker 1:I have a strawberry shortcake resin um little penjamin today so it's been.
Speaker 2:It's been very nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've liked it quite a bit, though it's good.
Speaker 2:Lovely, all right. And I will be joining you this time around here with a Kentucky straight bourbon, seven years old, by the fine folks at Heaven Hill. It's a hundred horsepower, 50%. We'll see how it goes. And then I'm also on the second toast. I'm going to turn that into a lovely mixed beverage, do you know?
Speaker 1:what kind of mixed beverage I do.
Speaker 2:I have some plans and I'll walk you through what. I got here, so here's our first one. First toast, first hit. This one goes out to the film, to Tombstone, to Tombstone.
Speaker 1:Cheers For Kurt Russell's mustache.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, that was fantastic, very smooth.
Speaker 1:Excuse me.
Speaker 2:I enjoyed that a lot.
Speaker 1:I wasn't able to maintain my composure. No, I held it together perfectly. I definitely was. I was good, I'm struggling.
Speaker 2:Well, for this second round, I've made something a little special here. So what I have? You take your cocktail shaker. I put in two ounces of our Heaven Hill, one ounce of our simple syrup and an entire lemon. We're going to shake that up real quick, I'm going to pour that, and so at this point, what I have basically is a pretty standard whiskey sour, but what I'm also going to add is a hint of seven deadly sins, zinfandel, to give it some of that tombstone blood.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you also need to, just at the very end, take out your sweaty ball sack and dip it gently, so you can get the real taste of the Old West Without it, sweaty ball sack, it's a necessary ingredient. Sweaty genitals in general, like that's probably just what the wild west smelled, like all the time.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, so I got like a blood on the sand thing going on.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I have to say it does look cool you did a good job doing the split drink. Those are.
Speaker 2:Those can be tough there's a little something for you and we'll. I'll even give it a little stir, because I'm going to be choking this down, but when you pick your wine, you want something fruity to offset that heaven hill, so, anyway, all right. So our second one. This one goes out to our newest listeners, this one goes out to Berlin, germany.
Speaker 1:Ooh, that's kind of cool, reaching all the way out to Germany. Cheers, see, and's kind of cool.
Speaker 2:Reaching all the way out to Germany. Cheers, see, and they came on. Our last episode, our first episode that came out. It actually came out. It'll come out a week before this one drops, so it's been out for a week by the time you're hearing this, and the transcripts are up. And we bashed the Nazis really hard on that last one and uh odd that they were.
Speaker 1:That was the one that they're like.
Speaker 2:Yep, well, germany has done a lot to turn their image around yes, they have 100, oh 100 100 I'm pretty sure they just that was like the german government, just cruising through search engines making sure there's no fucking, you know insults, being lobbed their way and what?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's been a lot easier to be like that, though, since grandpa died before that it was real tough yeah we just have this dark secret in the rocking chair.
Speaker 2:Just throw a blanket over him like he's a parrot ignore that, ignore that yeah, he said some, some shit. Right there, you say the right two words and he's right out of the rocking chair like a sleeper agent, oh all right, so time for our third toast, our third hit. Um, let's see. This one goes out to well. What should it be, gentlemen?
Speaker 1:Big burly mustaches. That's what it's going out to. Because, god damn, that's what made me grow up and want a mustache was tombstone mustaches.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your mustache would fit in, Luke for sure. Thank you, I appreciate it. I've been growing.
Speaker 1:I'm inspired by tombstone Cheers, cheers.
Speaker 2:Inspired by Tombstone cheers, cheers, cheers this is delicious, by the way, I'm gonna. What would you?
Speaker 1:rate the drink out of five it's.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's not low calorie. That's why I generally just stick to hard liquor, but it is, yeah, the Zinfandel paired with the Heaven Hill immaculately. I would definitely give this a 4.7. That's pretty good. I have to say, this thing's dangerous. Yeah, the rewatchability on this bad boy.
Speaker 1:It's unfortunately too high and, uh, it'll put you pass out on the floor by the end.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, no, that'll have you dancing on tables, no, in no time. So let's dive into it before. Uh, uh, you know it goes to our heads. So, um, so luke, I'd like to pass this, this first portion of off to you so you can can go over what we're introducing now as our new method of rating the films that come through high and dry.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So in the first episode I was on, which was Starship Troopers, I always have rated movies with a certain criteria, but I decided to kind of like refine that a little bit, I feel like make it a little bit more friendly for the podcast. So the way that we are going to rate the movies are four categories, which is acting, cinematography, animation and score as a whole, so the soundtrack and just the camera work, or the animation Story, which is just how did that? What did it was a good story. Did they tell you a story? Did you get to have a good symmetry? Did it make sense? Was it realistic or was it just like, oh my God, that's so bad.
Speaker 1:And then I personally think the most important, rewatch ability, which is like, could you put it on again? Because my opinion, for a movie to truly be good, you have to at least want to watch it more than once, like, if you watch it, get out of it and go, ah, I can't watch that again. I just don't find it to be a good movie. Can it be a good film? And can it be a work of art and can it be beautiful? Yes, do not disagree, but rewatchability for me is like that's a top category. So that's how we're going to break it down total up the score and then give it an average and see. See what each of us rated.
Speaker 2:I like it. Well, let's dive on in. Well, James, you have the parameters.
Speaker 1:You want to kick this off with your sober thoughts? Yeah, sure, I you know. I just want to preface by saying you know you both are great guys and I know that you guys may have liked this movie, but I just wanted to prepare you because I'm going to tell you about how this film is a blight, not just on westerns, but on cinema and the world as a whole.
Speaker 1:No, I'm kidding, I thought it was okay. My general world as a whole. No, I'm kidding, I, I thought it was. I thought it was okay. Um, okay, my, my general thoughts on this movie were that it was pretty okay. Um, I, uh, I got bored and got on my phone a couple times okay I felt, I felt like there were some pacing issues with dialogue.
Speaker 1:So let's, so, let's, let me, let me do the the acting cinematography animation score. All one category is that. Is that right? Yeah, that's one category, well acting is its own category.
Speaker 2:Acting is its own, and then it's cinematography animation score.
Speaker 1:I didn't think the acting was great. I thought the acting was all right. I thought particularly I thought the people who were doing the most acting were val kilmer and Kurt Russell and I felt like everyone else was just kind of there reading lines. Yes, so that doesn't get a great score for me. Is this on a numbering scale, do I?
Speaker 2:have to get a scale, yeah, one through five.
Speaker 1:One through five Like three Cinematography, animation and score. The animation on this movie was fantastic it was like titan ae all over there.
Speaker 1:I can't fault the animation. I would say, like the cinematography, animation are kind of like interchangeable. For animated movies, you'd rate the animation and for, like film movies, you, you write the cinematography Right. Got it Okay, okay. So the cinematography on this movie was pretty good they I. I watched some other movies recently Like, okay, I have any of you seen cutthroat Island? It's a. It's an awful movie. It's got Gina Davis, who I love.
Speaker 2:And so I was like as I was like.
Speaker 1:So I was like, let me check out this movie. It was awful, and one of the reasons the cinematography was awful in this movie was because they'd like hold they do like mid shots a lot and not enough focusing on people's faces or like lingering on people's faces after they've said things for too long and and stuff like that, and this movie did a pretty good job. I didn't feel any of those awkward things in cinematography in this movie, but I also didn't see anything in the cinematography that made me think, wow, this movie's got great cinematography revolutionary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, um. So you know, like a four for cinematography. I thought the score was good. The score makes it even out to a four. Uh, the story I thought the story didn't have great pacing. I thought that there were several portions where we were kind of waiting around for something to happen and it had. One of the big things for the that I had a problem with was that it had like three endings. It had like there were like mini bosses in this movie and you're kind of not wrong.
Speaker 1:There were like mini bosses and that's not what I. It's not a movie.
Speaker 2:The movie doesn't have mini bosses.
Speaker 1:I find it so funny because I, you know, I really am glad you're giving this unbiased opinion because, you know, for me it's just like some of these things I probably overlook. But now that you say it I'm like, really is there's like you're like, oh sweet, they're defeating the villain, oh no, there's a bigger boss. So I just thought that was weird. I thought that interrupted the pacing a little bit.
Speaker 1:I felt like we were getting the climax like three times and it turned into this edging session where I had to like, come all the way down first he had to like wander into the house and his wife is like I'm having an addiction problem and he's like I'm going to work, Not right now, he's like well, I'm actually. I have a picnic scheduled with another woman. I have to go. I'd rather go murder people.
Speaker 1:I'd literally rather go back to being a peacekeeper, Like I said I never would do again Then help you with your addiction. Truly a great husband, yeah. So I mean, when it comes down to storytelling and pacing and stuff, it's hard. I give it like a three or a four. I didn't hate it, it's a three point five. I wasn't like the worst movie ever. I put it right in the middle. Yeah, like a three. And then rewatchability. This gets like a one from me.
Speaker 2:I'm not a fan of rewatching this movie.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Fair but.
Speaker 1:I'm not a Western guy.
Speaker 2:I'm not a Western guy. We have a three on acting from James. What was your cinematography score? One more time.
Speaker 1:I already got it out. I got it tallied up.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, so we got three, four, three, three and a one, all right, uh. Well, uh, luke, would you like me to go next? Yeah, go ahead, since you're, uh, you know, you're, uh, you're reffing this bad boy. So, um, yeah, diving in here and I gotta move quick because I've had a lot of whiskey. Um, I'm rolling, um, so for me, the acting I I have to agree. Um, I feel that at first I feel val kilmer fucking brought it. Um, I I know he was doing something.
Speaker 2:I I think val kilmer brought it um he. He was like the, the brad pitt who fucking tried. I give it to him for that. So I thought he was amazing. Kurt Russell, kurt Russelled.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was Kurt Russell and I love Kurt Russell, I love Kurt Russell.
Speaker 2:Fucking nailed it. Bill Paxton dragged the scene every time he opened his fucking mouth. That's so true. Every time he opened his fucking mouth, and even when they're just standing on the street and you see him just kind of smiling to himself, bill paxton style, like so kurt russell was kurt russell and bill paxton was bill paxton, and I fucking hate bill paxton, yeah I don't know I I you know most of bill paxton's roles. I don't like him.
Speaker 1:I don't know Most of Bill Paxton's roles. I don't like him, I just don't.
Speaker 2:He sucks. He's always cast as like Until Twister came, and even in Twister he was a little sleazy.
Speaker 1:And not just a sleazy. He's like a coward in the movie. Yeah, like aliens In.
Speaker 2:Aliens, he was the bitch boy in the corner, yeah.
Speaker 1:I also was. His role was not great either, for me either, I agree.
Speaker 2:Sam Elliott just waggled his mustache and that was fine. He didn't piss me off when he was on screen.
Speaker 1:He didn't do anything. He really didn't do anything.
Speaker 2:No, he's just prepped for his Jeep and Marlboro commercials.
Speaker 1:He was just there to tie Wyatt Earp to going back to Lawmaker.
Speaker 2:That was his job.
Speaker 1:He was there because he was there in the real story. He was there.
Speaker 2:As far as the bad guys, I have a note here that said this is the most edgelordy group guys. I have a note here that said this is the most edge lordy group of bandits. I have yeah, for real. So for acting, because of Val Kilmer and Kurt Russell I give it a 3.5. If those two weren't in this film, this would be whole numbers, whole numbers. Just do whole numbers you want to do only wholes.
Speaker 2:Okay, fair enough, that's fine the edge, lordy bandits, bring it to a 3, alright. So then for my cinematography and score. So I felt that the score was in line with traditional westerns. So if you're into that, it was, it was in line with traditional Westerns. So if you're into that, it was great, it was grand, it was well composed, it was sometimes distracting, you know, trying to hear them over the swelling fucking horn section.
Speaker 1:You know, I have a thing to say about that, though. So sound mixing has developed a lot as an art over the past 25 years, where they're actually doing remixes of scores for home viewing, where they change the mix from the theater, and I don't know if it was super common at this time. And so I think this movie suffered for it.
Speaker 2:I'm sure there's a special edition that we could have checked out. But um, the thick kings who listen to this? Um, they're watching hulu with commercials. All right, we can't.
Speaker 1:Uh, all right, we do what we can so um, they're, they're watching this, they're watching tombstone on to be on the Roku TV.
Speaker 2:So for, and then cinematography. I felt that a lot of times it had trouble finding its pacing. Random events led to dancing at Christmas, and so that, yeah, it was a little meandering, for sure. And then here comes the big boss, oh wait. And so that, yeah, it was a little meandering, for sure.
Speaker 2:And then here comes the big boss, oh wait he's just so for, uh, for cinematography and score, um, I give it a three. Um, the story, I feel, um, I, I did care about the characters, especially Doc Holiday. Um, I did enjoy, did enjoy, uh, watching them. Um, the story, it was enough there to like, all right, we got a beginning, middle end, uh, I, I'm here for the ride right on. Um, I give it a four. And then rewatch ability. Um, I, just I just tore this thing up rewatch ability. I give it a five. I mean, uh, it's a, it's a fun dumb ass movie. Um, I could pick at it and still enjoy it. I love watching val kilmer shine. I love kurt russell not destroy a chess computer because he's mad. You know, I was good to go Like let's pour one up and let's watch Tombstone. I'm down. So there you have it.
Speaker 1:I really am enjoying your guys' perspectives because I think I might have too much nostalgia in this movie. Potentially it's good. I think that's the crutch, yeah, I think that's the crutch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's the crutch of tombstone.
Speaker 1:But there are people with this opinion as important that that opinion is represented. Yeah, that's fair, so all right. So as far as my ratings go, so for acting, I 100 agree that there's a cut like a few characters that pretty much carry the fucking show. I think that Johnny Ringo, billy, the Kid Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday are the four characters who really are and maybe the actress who kind of like is flaunt like in the the rest of them could have all been shot at the okay corral and I would have been okay, yeah, I barely remember wyatt herb's brother's name, like that's how I'm like.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't see him. I know bill paxton was bill paxton was morgan and I remember them saying that name and I was like, okay, now I dislike just your fucking face enough that I'm going to remember your name.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have to say, but I genuinely think that Doc Holliday Val Kilmer's performance alone carries this movie so heavily for me. Like his quotes are things that I say in my everyday life, like I. Like his performance to me is like one of the best in film, like I, in all honesty great his cow like his cowboy role in that.
Speaker 1:That's my honest opinion. I gave it a four. I think val kilmer carries it that heavily, um, so I did lead acting a four, and not only for him, because I think there's other pieces of the puzzle that do fit well and it does mesh and it works like as a as a cowboy movie in a western you don't have to show me the math on that.
Speaker 1:I yeah, I feel, I feel, yeah so cinematography I think, very good for its time. I think it, you know it's a 1993 movie, so came out in 1993, being produced early, early 90s. So I think like they do a very good job with what they have it's nothing revolutionary, though it's not going to be groundbreaking.
Speaker 1:It's like you're not like that. Oh, wow, that camera angle, it's just standard western shit. So I give it a three right in the middle for for me, um, on the cinema, the cinematography, the story is honestly not as good as I. I. I agree with you guys in parts. There's just parts that don't seem to fit for the movie and you're just kind of like okay, like yeah, sounds good, like just like scenes where they just don't fit into the puzzle and you're just like I. It leaves you very confused sometimes, but overall I think they save it because it does, like ryan said, at a beginning, middle and end. You do get that like, you do understand like that. There is that besides the three climaxes which you know I only want that on a friday night not not when I'm watching Tombstone, though Not when I'm watching.
Speaker 2:Tombstone.
Speaker 1:Without a doubt, without a doubt, but the story it gets a three for me. Yeah, it's more like I would probably rate it closer to like a 3.6 if I had to rate it. But I don't know it doesn't deserve a four. Can't do decimals.
Speaker 2:This is why we're. That's what I said, but it doesn't deserve a four, so I'm gonna give it.
Speaker 1:I understand if we did decimals, we might as well do a rating to 10. Fair enough, you are right, you are right. So then ten decimals out to the third. Well, you can't wait, it's better to rate on stars, but yeah, and then re-watchability. Um, I give it a five too. I don't. I, I'm sorry. I for me this movie. I could watch it so much fun once a month and I would be happy. I'm not exaggerating. I love this movie. It might, it might be the nostalgia, it might be, but I do think, as far as a western goes and I talk about this with my dad who loves, loves westerns he even like, gives it high praise as a western. He's like like tombstone is one of the up there with any western out there. So I've got to say it's for me, it's a five, it's one I'm going to put on, I'm going to show my, my nephews and nieces, everyone. I will show as many people Tombstone as I possibly can and spread it across, across across the land.
Speaker 1:All of your relatives are like do we have to watch Tombstone again of your relatives?
Speaker 2:are like do we have to watch tombstone again? Like the, the younger girls like, look, he's getting old.
Speaker 1:Okay, we only have to do this a few more years I literally I convinced them it's a christmas movie, just because the very end of the very end like it's a christmas movie. If there's christmas, I don't know what to tell you you motherfuckers want to watch Die Hard.
Speaker 1:Tombstone is the real Christmas movie. So yeah, it's a five for me. So overall, I mean I you know it gets a pretty solid score. I don't think it's. I do I'm not a moron I get it. It's not. It's not perfect. It has its flaws, For I'm not a moron, I get it. It's not perfect. It has its flaws For Val Kilmer alone.
Speaker 2:I'm putting it on every year.
Speaker 1:at least I'm getting a tombstone watching.
Speaker 2:I like it. What does that bring? Our total two. What does High and Dry give?
Speaker 1:Tombstone For three what did james have for his? Because I had put them in the calculator.
Speaker 2:James did three on acting, four on cinematography, three on story and one on rewatchability. Damn james listen.
Speaker 1:I don't like westerns, but I do. I do want to say. Something I didn't mention during my review was that I loved the costumery. I thought the costumes was amazing. The costumes really were good.
Speaker 1:There are some movies that do shit costumes and I thought the costumes were pretty great for this one yeah, there was a lot of pageantry in this movie there was a lot of scene, entrances of all characters, you know where, where, yeah, where, where the camera would be pulled out and you'd see them walk into a room and there was a lot of scene entrances of all characters Fucking film thing yeah where the camera would be pulled out and you'd see them walk into a room and everyone would turn their head and it'd be like a display of their you know whether they were this slim, you know kind of daunting cowboy, you know like a predator or like a woman and dancing with her plumes and shit it was so much pageantry in this movie.
Speaker 1:When I did my um cowboy cosplay, I based it on some of the tombstone outfits because I just liked that yeah, you killed it.
Speaker 2:You killed it for sure yeah they're.
Speaker 1:They're like uppity kind of like wearing like nice dress clothes with like the cowboy attire, like I think that just is such a clean look I and I did get it from and I agree the way they dress them and and everything is very well done. Um, but the the total rating it averages out to a three out of five that I enjoyed For Tombstone which in life. It's not bad for the time, and don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2:I think it's fair too. I think it's fair.
Speaker 1:I do. If it got like a four or five, it's like you guys are lying to yourselves.
Speaker 2:There's no way. Like I said, I feel it speaks to the, uh, the veracity of our method here.
Speaker 1:Um, I think I'm not.
Speaker 2:I wasn't out to get this movie no I just it didn't resonate with me in ways that it did, and luke's rating system took that into account and still gave this bitch a three.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which, and I in all honesty I'm happy with, and that's coming from someone who's gonna watch this every year for the rest of his life. So I I'm happy with the three. That's good for a genre film, a genre film for, with three different people who have different kind of tastes and stuff, for a genre film, that's a great score. And a western from 1993 could be rough in general, honestly, that can get very.
Speaker 2:To move along to the second part, I could do that. It's time to get onto the golden path and discuss the inner workings of this film, what it truly means. In order to do that, though, it's time to line them up one final time. Line up your shots, your hits. Here we go. This is the last one of the episode. If you're, uh, listening to this on the way to work, go ahead, pull over.
Speaker 1:We're responsible hit, get out your flask and you're not ask and or ball. Yeah, we don't do the like inside the pocket of the suit, like people don don't do that anymore. Now it's like a special underwear that has, like the like in between the lining is a pouch.
Speaker 2:And yeah, I love some good dick whiskey, some good dick whiskey. Here's the dick whiskey.
Speaker 1:Cheers, the taste of the old West Mmm, the taste of the old West.
Speaker 2:Hmm, I got to say heaven Hill still super smooth even on my fifth ounce.
Speaker 1:Now go slower. We still have a lot of podcasts to do four and a half, awesome, all right.
Speaker 2:So it's time to get into our second portion here. Um, acting like I can't control my fifth ounce. It's time to get on the golden path. So your deep inner thoughts what this movie meant, how does it affect our culture bring us there. Uh, james, you want to kick it up ah, sure.
Speaker 1:So I really liked this, the opening tone of the movie, uh, with sam elliott's narration, and I loved that they said it. Like essentially what they were telling us was that, uh, you know, capitalists were making little fortresses and and the problem was that there were a bunch of robbers and crime and, like the, problem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it was like bandits, yeah Right, but. But essentially it was like an indictment of like, uh, uh, it was like. It was like essentially calling the wild west a feudalist kind of system where the rich, oh I, have like titles of nobility by creating their own little towns where everybody has to like live under whatever conditions are dictated, and I thought that that was really interesting and did set a tone for the film that I enjoyed. It made me wonder why the fuck wyderp was moving there if he wanted to retire. I don't think that that was necessarily well thought out.
Speaker 2:He, right away, is like yeah, I'll rent that place out.
Speaker 1:Yep, yes please, one rent, please. Yes, sir, I would like. Meanwhile now they have to check your credit, get six paychecks, everything, and then you got to pay $400 to apply to live here. Yeah, meanwhile, why everyone walks into town. He's like one rent, please. Thank you very much I'll even throw in the cleaning he didn't even have to go into an office to find it. He came to him and was like hey, how about a place to live there, like what I wish?
Speaker 2:that that would be. Yeah, that would be something, but I still hate the fact that he had a rent.
Speaker 1:But anyway, that is crazy. He'll always be ruled by his landlord, um but and then he started then, and then he's like retiring to this town. He's like I just want quiet. You know it's, it's that. It's like it's like a paradoxical character was yes, yes and I think, I think that this is emblematic of a lot of westerns. They have this paradoxical character and I think that a lot of american dads, uh, love westerns and love, yeah, movies like this. Because of this character, the protagonist, oh sorry go ahead.
Speaker 2:Ryan, did you have something to say? Well, just on that point. My first two notes is peaceful life. With my gun, it always works and then um, it was, uh god, I hate violence. I'm just so damn good at it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, and I made some notes like that too. He's empathetic but stern and righteous but practical and regretful but resolute, and striving for peace but capable of brutality. It's like the film is making a really big effort to say that the hero isn't perfect and it's not in a way that's just like you know, everybody's not perfect. It's trying, it's.
Speaker 1:It's in a way that's like this guy's bad, his imperfect parts are what make him perfect, and it's really I think it's kind of a gross thing to say, and I think that a lot of american dads love it, because they're pieces of shit and essentially it's like, and it's like, uh, you know, you remember when, uh, wyatt erp was a piece of shit but he was right.
Speaker 1:He was right and and you know he's also got these other sides to him he danced with the lady. It's similar to, you know, the character Dexter, where he's literally a serial killer, but they made it. He's killing bad people. So you like him and I have to say I watch it and I'm like when he's getting caught, I'm like, fuck man, dexter's getting caught. I hate this now and it's like I shouldn't be rooting for him technically, you really shouldn't.
Speaker 1:It's the same concept they make, like this guy who's like, yes, he is a murderer and he is kind of just laying justice his way, but he also is a nice guy.
Speaker 2:The dude rolls into town, enforces himself on the take of a fucking gambling hall, and then what? We're just supposed to do it because, well, well, he used righteousness, seniority, on billy bob thornton, who honestly looked like they were the same age. Um right, yeah and uh. So just, he did it with such gusto that uh no it was the right thing to do.
Speaker 1:It was the right thing to do just put this man out of his job, just walked into town, was like mine, now get fucked okay, yeah, but I think I think I think the biggest problem of that for me was that men who have all the flaws can can, can be like well, his flaws are like mine and he had a big redemptive moment, and so they can always.
Speaker 1:They're like able to be like it doesn't matter if I'm a piece of shit all the time, I can have a redemptive moment. My moment just hasn't come yet and they like hide in this shadow that's been built for them on the mythos of the american man and like I think that's why I just generally don't like westerns. It's because I had a piece of shit parent like that, yeah, and I was like damn, I see a lot of this motherfucker in this character. He's like oh no, it's fine to cheat on your wife, I can. I love her now though. It's cool, don't worry about it, because love is true yeah, my wife she's dealing with a fucking addiction.
Speaker 2:Who wants that? Yeah?
Speaker 1:yeah, that was my big, that was my big note for this movie and it kind of like, uh, very early on that came up and even billy zane was. Billy zane had a line where he's like, is he predator, is he prey? And I was like, yeah, that's right. You're right, billy, he's kind of. He's kind of a fucking predator, isn't he, I, I will say about fucking.
Speaker 2:So my note here is billy fucking zane. Um, until we re-watched it I forgot he was there.
Speaker 1:And then he comes in like they might as well have had pyrotechnics as he came off that fucking carriage like a fog machine something um, and you know you're right we failed to mention billy zane in the beginning, like when we were a lot, when we were allotting the actors, he was doing something he was doing something, fucking nailed it I agree, because he had a presence. He like he walked off of that stage coach and you were like, oh, okay, someone's okay, yeah, you have a presence about him and then when he started talking up um fucking wyatt erp like that, I put the note here.
Speaker 2:It's like I wish I had a dude to talk me up whenever a woman looks at me and then I said every woman needs a gay bff firmly in my corner, because he didn't damn Wyatt Earp at all, no, he just made him intriguing.
Speaker 1:She literally says at the end of the interaction I want one.
Speaker 2:If he was a good friend he would have been like hey, uh, no, uh, he ain't good for you. I I literally just watched him take over a gambling parlor. Uh, his wife is dealing with addiction in the corner over there um don't do it, don't do it, that's a nowadays picture the same exact thing.
Speaker 1:So your wife's like you're not dating that guy, like you know, because it's got a cool mustache and a cowboy hat.
Speaker 2:You're like it's kind of hot and my gay bff just talked him up like really like if I don't do it. Billy zane will.
Speaker 1:And he said yeah, billy zane had said happy hunting because he was also gonna be trying to get like good luck bitch yeah, all right, happy hunting, we'll be all easy.
Speaker 1:And he gets that one. I wrote, I wrote here that that fucking that turnaround where he was like pumping up that guy so much he turns around and does a death wish, he fucking, he goes off and fucking he hunts down people and like takes glee and like ambushing them and murdering them and he's like, yeah, you should totally fuck on this guy. He's a good dude, good dude from whatever.
Speaker 2:No, all us pieces of shit could use a billy zane. Uh, just fucking in our corner talking to well, uh, so luke. How about you? What are your?
Speaker 1:uh, your golden path thoughts in all honesty, I, I, I think it's a little bit of a a to people who can't get out of certain lives. It doesn't matter. Once you get into a violent, a dark path, it is difficult to get off of it.
Speaker 2:Like a godfather.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, if you are bad, bad shit's going to happen, no matter where you go. So he thought change of scenery, I can now be just a gambler. I'm just a. I'm a pharaoh owner. I'm nothing. I'm not a bad man. But no, like let's. Wyatt Earp, you want to kill you went out, you like, let's not like leaving Colorado didn't change the fact that you like being the lawman. You like to be able to lay that, like you said, james, at one point. He's standing over a guy, pauses, looks him in the eye and just fucking shoots him in the foot. Like that's dark. You can't say you're not enjoying that, like that's a hit.
Speaker 2:I thought that was a really good shot I thought like that at one point in the cinematography.
Speaker 1:I was like yeah really good way to show he's like fucking unhinged. Yeah, so I think that I really do think that, uh, it's kind of it really does paint a picture and honestly all of them like now camera kilmer's life catches up to him. You know his dog holiday, just like the drinking, like he. He never really tries to escape to life. He honestly doesn't, he's. He kind of just goes balls to the wall till the end.
Speaker 2:But yeah, that's why I respect him. I respect him in that film, not once did he try to be good?
Speaker 1:not once, not once.
Speaker 2:And even and he did not trick a good kind of good you know woman into entering into an extramarital affair. He's like, no, I'm garbage. Uh, let's get this garbage woman who's willing to rob places with me.
Speaker 1:We'll be garbage together uh, you know, did you guys remember that that doc holiday was a robber?
Speaker 2:and murderer.
Speaker 1:He was a horrible yeah. Hardy's not a good person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he died alone of tuberculosis. Yeah, makes sense. He didn't go dancing under the snow, he died in a bed, even the theme that James said, where it's like painting a picture of these heroes.
Speaker 1:Even Doc Hardy, he's as bad as they get, murdering people, just like rob rob the casino, blah, blah, blah. Even at the end you're, it paints a picture that he's like kind of a hero, like he saves the day. He was a fucking knife killer he fucking stabbed that guy when he was for sure cheating yeah like the guy's just like you're cheating. He's like pussy. No, I wasn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like cool well, so there's, uh, there's an actual interview with doc holiday. Um and I was looking into this for this film um, where doc holiday the man himself stated that when they asked like how do you feel about having taken these lives in the past? And he said I coughed up my conscious with my lungs years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so just nothing. It doesn't get cold, it's just a real piece of shit. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I also think we venerate him because of Val Kilmer.
Speaker 1:You know this movie portrays as him just doing it. I don't know for the we're not even sure why he's doing it. Love of the game, love of the game. Yeah, he, love of the game. Yeah, he's doing it because his friend needs help. These bad men have done him and that's kind of what he does it for. I don't believe that for a second. Almost certainly. If you, if you think about the reality of that situation, wyatt erp was probably like you can keep and sell whatever we, you know a portion of what we take off of these guys and that was his motivation in real, but in the movie they're portraying like no, just a guy that's helping his friend just now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's just a roguish jack sparrow type before jack sparrow.
Speaker 1:In reality he's yanking the boots off each of these people that he shot in the head yeah no, he wasn't great.
Speaker 2:Uh, he wasn't great. And yeah, this. Well, I would just say that this ability for the united states to create its folk heroes like that and turn it into something, and I think that's why our culture these days is able to create such a political dichotomy off of um. Do you venerate the past or do you look at it for what it was? Um, like, are these, are your heroes? Are you with us and thinking that you're, they're heroes, or are you fucking woke pieces of shit? Um.
Speaker 1:I mean you, just I kind of watch it. I respect you, know. I know that they're pieces of shit. I'm not going to, I don't want to be Wyatt Earp. I watch it because I'm like this is a Western I love it's just, it's entertaining. That's exactly Just entertaining, I feel like that's how like everyone should look at it, because that's what it is it was just a film of that time and for that time it was whatever appropriate. That's how you should take it like it's just a piece of almost artwork from the past.
Speaker 2:Like you know, one of the biggest themes of high and dry, since we've been doing this new thing where we're tearing apart films, is that, uh, um, are humans, uh, responsible enough to consume this media? And you know, it's weird because we are millions of years of evolution mixed up with. Who made fun of us in high school? And then, all of a sudden, here comes Doc Holliday, wyatt Earp, who's my heroes. I love Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp because all the negative things about me they make okay. So you know, there you have it.
Speaker 1:And I also think the darkness also affects the people around you is a theme as well. So I think Wyatt Earp brings darkness and I don't know if he was with his brothers already, but he definitely. When he joined with his brothers he definitely killed those men. I loved the end. I like I busted out laughing like at the end when Sam Elliott does, like the where they are now and he was like so and so died and all, and we're all fucking dead.
Speaker 1:His wife had to go to Arizona, andzona, and prostitute herself. She's dead and it's like. It's like a freeze frame on kurt russell, like fucking dancing with his new girl.
Speaker 2:I laughed so fucking hard yeah, he took us for chumps and he's a hero now. They're all smiling having a good time.
Speaker 1:I thought that was fucking hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 2:Well, with that being said, it's time to dive into our third portion of the show. It's time for our what ifs. All right, we're going to. There's really no need to insert drugs in, or alcohol. They were in it, they were in it, they were in it, but let's insert ourselves. So the cast of High and Dry has come to Tombstone. How does this film change? Luke, you want to start this one off?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have to say I'm definitely going to be one of I think I would be like a cowboy, but not an important one One of the background guys. It's like remember the character Ike in the movie, who's just like a piece of shit throughout it. Like I would be behind him, like yeah, pussy, yeah, yeah, I'd be back there, just like, yeah, you want to fucking go.
Speaker 1:No no no, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want to actually fight, just casually walking away from fights and shit, like I'm not actually trying to fight these men with guns. These are pistols. Guys Like these are actual, like we're not actually. You guys are playing for blood. As Doc Holliday said, not interested, I am not interested in playing for blood. So I think if I was in the movie I would be a cowboy. I'd be sick, cool mustache, all of it. I'd be, but a coward probably, and just the guy that's a hype man in the background, probably more cowboy-ish. But yeah, go get them boys, let's go. You know, that's probably more.
Speaker 2:And then I got to get home.
Speaker 1:actually, oh, about that, that I have a pot pie at home, gonna go smash that.
Speaker 2:Enjoy this, have fun yeah unlike wyatt, I'm actually happy um, so I'm gonna go yeah, I have a wife and two kids, a beautiful family.
Speaker 1:It's amazing like I really enjoy living in tombstone. I'm just gonna get at you. I, I was just, I got excited.
Speaker 2:It just came over here I got wrapped up in the. I got wrapped up in the pageantry. So, yeah, uh, that's that. That'd be my character in tombstone he gets wrapped up in the pageantry, but then he goes home and lives his fucking life I just play cowboy.
Speaker 1:That's why, just like here, I streamed as a cowboy. I'm not gonna actually I'm not going out to ride fucking horses tonight, though, that's for sure uh, james, what about you?
Speaker 2:how would it change?
Speaker 1:how to change, um uh, well, first the character that I think I would have to insert myself for. Uh, is why I would be the main character and I do everything exactly the same, because obviously the only one who got, who nothing bad happened to, he got out of it totally fucking scot-free and then he was even able to ditch his wife without any sort of any repercussions, anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'd just be dancing at the end of the christmas tree. I'd be loving it. More likely I would be. Uh, I would supply his wife with laudanum and while he was gone, for months on his revenge quest.
Speaker 2:we'd be fucking all the time Hell yeah, I'd be fucking his wife on laudanum. Give me some of that, don't take it off.
Speaker 1:We'd have a great time. Well you, you wouldn't be a piece of shit. You give her the opposite. You'd actually give her attention. That's all she wanted that's all I legitimately think if wyner just spent two date nights a week, she wouldn't have been until addicted to drugs.
Speaker 1:It's his fault that she's addicted to drugs, that he's like a drug when, when they when they stood in front of the glass and and and I think it was uh, sam elliott's wife said wow, we could be sisters. You know, it's like these guys, it's like they were saying that the wife was essentially just a token for wyatt or to represent some kind of american dream.
Speaker 2:I think yeah, yeah, they were all blonde. Yeah, they were all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was it was uh, yeah, that was just very odd. Honestly, that thing was like okay, whatever, yeah, I would have lived in his house, ate all his salted pork and shit and uh all of his wrapped candies sounds kind of awesome, honestly yeah, no, no, no, it's a solid insert.
Speaker 1:It's a solid insert he doesn't care, he doesn't care at all. He's like oh, thank God he took her off my hands, holy shit, yeah, for real. I was going to have to deal with that. That's how he got away was James was sleeping with his wife.
Speaker 2:That's why she didn't even notice, had no idea. Every everyone was just finally happy yeah, no and like why would it at one point come up to you and be like hey, I like what you're doing, keep it up um, you're letting me you're letting me do my thing without consequence um and that's what I'm. And that's what I'm all about.
Speaker 1:He's going to slip a $5 bill in James' pocket Just pat it into his chest. You guys are going to get some more of that stuff.
Speaker 2:Go out for some wrapped candies tonight. He's like solid mustache, mustache, by the way. Uh. So for me, um, like, um, I, I think I would, I would wind up um as doc holiday, but yeah, we all knew you were gonna say that, you fucking the difference would be um like so in the movie theater, when why it's looking across the way and he's like I'm a fuck that. Um, and doc holly leans in and says something like poetic I'd lean in and say like you're.
Speaker 2:No, hey, man, you know we're monsters, right like you're, like you're aware of that, right. And then I'm like, um, yeah, we are going to hell, you and I, you are aware of that, correct?
Speaker 1:I just want to make sure that you're on the same page because, yeah, I'm cool with it. I'm cool with doing it, brother, I'm cool here we are. Here we are. Yeah, like my, my die is cast. All right, I gotculosis.
Speaker 2:I have no one to bury me.
Speaker 1:It is what it is.
Speaker 2:But just so you're aware you're a piece of shit, right, you get that.
Speaker 1:I just want to make sure you understand If you don't know anything about the real Wyatt Earp. He never got that, he never understood that he was a piece of shit. He abandoned two different wives to go with to go with this third lady and they ended up staying together, supposedly until her death.
Speaker 2:uh, and uh on and off.
Speaker 1:Again, he was not faithful. He tried several business ventures. He tried to get himself portrayed in hollywood, because these times were actually synonymous of film and cowboys. They were both during the same time and then he ended up having yeah, he ended up having a very sensational uh book written about him that led to his legend.
Speaker 2:Otherwise he would have been totally unknown as someone wrote a very flattering book about him yeah, no, and my brooding edgelord ass, mixed with the the combat training I've had in my life, would turn into this. This movie would have wyatt doing all of his shit, me beside him is doc holiday doing my shit, and then, uh, I would just like, instead of the poetic shit it'd be, I would just like pan into screen like behind his shoulder we fucking suck dude like you get that right, you understand, on his shoulder.
Speaker 2:I'm like you're a real piece of shit. You're aware, right? Okay, all right, cool, just making sure you know. You're just making sure you know, all right, let's kill these guys. And that one scene that you guys were talking about, where he like gets his eyes and he's meeting them after the gunshot, where it just like zooms in on kurt russell's eyes my head would come over his shoulder and go dude, that was fucked up real dark real dark dude real dark.
Speaker 1:I don't think morgan would have wanted this like do you think you're the best thing for her?
Speaker 2:really at this time, really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think, morgan, the person you're avenging would be frightened of what you did. Yeah, what you've become um, you just went on a 10-man murder spree and you showed no room, dragon dudes with fucking rope behind horses like yeah, yeah, that's, that's dark, that is dark, and then I'd have a coughing fit men will do anything besides go to therapy, and I would be there constantly telling him that dude, you need fucking therapy.
Speaker 2:Uh, I'm aware I'm a piece of shit, but I'm gonna die alone in a bed. You don't deserve everything you're about to have get help, get help, I'll be your huckleberry um yeah, and that that's how it would change. There would just be a guy saying dude, get help, you're fucked up, we all are, but you really need help.
Speaker 1:I want to see the movie with those three characters in it now. We need to make this happen somehow.
Speaker 2:We need to make this film.
Speaker 1:We need to make the exact same film. We'll get them all back, bill and Jane, everybody, the whole cast.
Speaker 2:Bill Paxton is going to have some trouble with that.
Speaker 1:The rest of the crew. I don't know if Val Kilmer could probably do the role either anymore, but you know he doesn't have to.
Speaker 2:He'll come on as a consultant and he'll work with me we'll get where we need to go, and you know we'll make it happen for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I, I like that. I, uh, I will say that I think the huckleberry quote was uh, doc, holiday like val kimmer, it's supposed to be hucklebearer.
Speaker 2:Like you're bearing, it's like the well, I'm glad you brought it up because I wanted to discuss this. So I, I, I, but I've heard both opinions, and hucklebearer makes sense to me and for some reason, val kilmer refuses to clarify. Um, so hucklebearer was the dude who carried your fucking coffin. Yeah, huckleberry is just this random reference potentially to huckleberry or that he was in. We don't know.
Speaker 1:He's apparent. I mean, this is just I've looked it up cause I'm so like that's something that's always like haunted me. I genuinely I like, based on all the information I found, I think he messed up, I think he messed the lineup and they just kind of went with it.
Speaker 1:it, it didn't sound bad, rolled off the tongue and it was supposed to be huckleberry yes, he was supposed to say I could be a huckleberry and he just was like I said I could be a huckleberry and they were like yeah, fuck it. Yeah, fuck it, yeah, I, I, I would maybe. Like it's also 1993 film is probably more expensive. Like it's not as like readily like so, like roll with, it's not as like readily Like so, like, yeah, they're like you fuck up a lot and they're like dude, come on. Like well, do this.
Speaker 1:So I just did some research in this short short amount of time since you mentioned this and I looked up Hucklebearer and the only thing I'm getting is for tombstone.
Speaker 2:Ah, so that might be a myth in and of itself.
Speaker 1:There's literally nothing else other than about tombstone. There's no like, so there's no possible way that that's the what it's. I find it very weird.
Speaker 2:I find it very weird that there's literally no, just like falcon we love the old definition and it's just a definition of huckleberry it's at all of.
Speaker 1:It has to do with tombstone yes, I actually I just did the same. I google search it. So I find that I find that very interesting.
Speaker 2:I do trust Snopes to an extent, but I found the Snopes here. The myth is actor Val Kilmer, while portraying Doc Holliday in 1993, tombstone repeated the catchphrase I'm your huckle bearer, not I'm your huckle excuse me huckle berry, as is commonly thought. False. Actor Val Kilmer so iconically embodied 19th century gunslinger doc holiday in the movie tombstone that when he said yeah, yeah, um, but the popularity of the phrase had some wondering. Did they misremember the exact words spoken? Let's see here.
Speaker 1:And so, but val kilmer does say on a tweet I both say I'm your Huckleberry and I say I'll be your Huckleberry oh yeah, oh, look at that yeah, so that's probably. I would say that's great. I mean that's Val Kilmer, I mean that's a pretty good source yeah, so yeah, he said so.
Speaker 2:Val Kilmer himself said I say both I'm your, I'm your Huckleberry and I'll be your Huckleberry. I say it twice in the film okay, so there you go, yep there you go, alright, that's why. Huckleberry is just a berry yeah, so it's gotta be some reference to. I bet it's a reference to.
Speaker 1:Huckleberry Finn. So Mark Twain was a popular author at the time.
Speaker 2:So it would make sense. I'll be your.
Speaker 1:Val Kilmer. Yeah, oh, so just a character out of a book that a lot of people would have known, kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, yeah, because Huckleberry famously followed Tom Sawyer.
Speaker 1:Okay, and he had his own. He had his own thing too, where he went on a journey and like I wonder, like I wonder if it has something to do with that. Like, if that's what you want, I'll take you on your journey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense, that doesn't make sense. I kind of like that. I like that.
Speaker 1:And it makes like Honestly, because it's very clear this day he says Huckleberry in the movie, in the film like it's not. Non-disputable about that. So.
Speaker 2:And that's why the thick kings at home Listen to an hour of this nonsense To finally get to the bottom Of Huckleberry or Hucklebearer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what this was all about.
Speaker 2:That's what this was all about. The film was a ruse. It was all a ruse. We have solved one of hollywood's greatest mysteries. It is huckleberry. I'm your host. Ryan baron north, uh, with me, as always.
Speaker 1:James crossland, luke, uh, guys, thank you so much I don't get to say all my, all my notes quick, you're right. Let's do the quick quips, let's do this shit. I don't have any this time.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to give some Doc Holiday quotes. So, doc Holiday, at one point he's coming out of the bar what's his name? I can't remember the guy's name, whatever the character, he says you're so, oh, the drunk piano player. You're so drunk, you're probably seeing two and he pulls out a knife, not call it. He says, well, I got two, I got one for you, one for the each of them, and I did one of the best lines.
Speaker 1:Also, when johnny tyler's coming around the corner he's like johnny tyler, mad cat shotgun and I just, oh, that line is just too cold. And then the coldest line and honestly one of my favorite cowboy lines of all time is when, uh, he does meet johnny ringo out in the woods the final, like pretty much climax of the movie and he ends up like, um, he comes up to johnny ringo, says, what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here. And he's like, uh, play for blood, remember. And he gets Johnny Ringo's as, as kidding. He's like I wasn't just one of those lines. It's that I'm loving these reads. Yeah, I, I'm sorry. I have this movie, especially those big quotes, like I said, especially those big quotes, like I said, a lot of nostalgia for me, but those are like.
Speaker 1:Those are the lines that, for me, I'll watch it over and over again because it gives me goosebumps.
Speaker 2:To this day, when I watch some of those lines I'm just like, specifically from val kilmer val kilmer was able to do this role and he, like you'd think it would be kurt russell to bring the one-liners.
Speaker 1:But no, val kilmer brought, like he had a hand of him like and he just kept fucking dealing them out every time you're like there's no like, and then he's sitting there, sitting there with he's like. I have an idea let's have a spelling contest. Like just all of his different like. He takes the scene every time he's on screen. All of his lines are iconic in almost every scene he's in.
Speaker 1:I just I have to give the tribute to Val Kilmer and a few of my favorite quotes from him. One of my favorite scenes from the movie was when they're watching the play, and I loved the scene as someone who watches movies of someone else watching a piece of art and making commentary on the interaction of those people, because it's essentially like a director or screenwriter giving us a window into how they're viewing things. And Val Kilmer, doc Holliday, has a line that I like there, where they're watching this and they're talking about these people, and he says but who's the devil? Where they're watching this and they're talking about these people, and he says but who's the devil? And I don't think that that was an accident, that they cast her as that. They cast her as the devil in this, that it was a more layered thing, that he wasn't just speaking directly about her yeah, she's like a temptress, like like, uh, yeah, like, but not even that.
Speaker 1:But them like watching these people who are making mistakes about life and saying, but who's the devil is? Is, I thought, was I thought something that was hidden in there, that was higher up and not directly related to the play, you know.
Speaker 2:Um, uh, let's see From that same scene. I thought that roof is fucked Um this. This, this movie was the perfect film in support of gun control.
Speaker 1:They literally were like all right, we're doing gun control now, let's settle down, guys, you guys just blew six fucking holes in my roof. That's like that's days and days of like work and like resources that have to be used to repair it, because next time it rains this fucking place will rot Dude my dudes, this can't happen every Friday night.
Speaker 1:No more shooting holes in the roof guys. Come on, I know you get excited, we'll get you guys. Cap guns you guys still do it. Just not the real bullets, come on, jesus. But but talking about the bullets, the number of times that people just gathered around in a circle around people firing guns was insane. Like misfire, like they're like these. These are all ace Because, I'm sorry, I guarantee Real Wild West. If two guys went in a face-off and everyone got in a circle, people would get killed all the time.
Speaker 2:There's no way to kill that dude. You're getting shot.
Speaker 1:You're getting shot. Yeah, Like come on.
Speaker 2:You got this dude who's just standing right behind one of them going nah, this dude's an ace.
Speaker 1:He behind one of them going nah, this dude's an ace, he'll be fine. Yeah, take, let's take the kids to the standoff today. It's gonna be fucking awesome, like it's gonna be so cool and get fucking shot.
Speaker 2:I, I, I am betting you that it was terrifying. Um, hey, those people who run our society are firing death slugs at each other again. All right, uh.
Speaker 1:So do you guys remember the scene where before, before they take morgan out for his first time killing a man, uh that he gives him that talk about how you know it's, it's not like it's gonna, it's not like you think it's gonna be. You know killing's not so easy and shit, yeah, yeah. And then they come back and and morgan says you're right, it's nothing like like I thought I almost wish, and then, and then you know, he cuts him off. I I hate when they do this in movies, because my first thought is to try to finish what they were gonna say you're right, it's nothing like I thought.
Speaker 1:I almost wish I got a chance to fuck their skulls before their bodies got all the way. I know me too.
Speaker 2:It's the same for all of us. And that would be that moment where I slide in the frame going. You guys realize you're all monsters, right you? Deserve to die If this bar lit on fire, we should burn in this. If this bar lit on fire, we should burn in this.
Speaker 1:Obviously he was going to say something like I wish that didn't happen, I wish I didn't kill that man. It's like, yeah, but his, I know me too. I don't think he was thinking the same thing.
Speaker 2:I too wish I could have fucked that guy I'm just a piece of shit.
Speaker 1:Um, let's see, I think his brother was kind of like oh my god, you're a monster like I am not okay I did not enjoy that today.
Speaker 1:You are fine, though that's weird, yeah uh, I like the touch of, uh, I like the touch of riding the horse into the building because, uh, you know it's kind of like, uh, it's kind of like a cowboy story. Right, it's not practical, it's impractical, it's a little stupid, uh, uh. But. Or riding a horse into like a gunfight of standing people, very dumb, but it's like a pulp story, you know, it's like an old cow, it's like it's like a fantastical story without the horse it's just guys weirdly running in a field shooting guns at each other.
Speaker 2:You know, it's definitely not as cool. Well, fellas, I, I am, we are, though we're at an hour 15, it's time to slice this bad boy off. Um, no one's gonna finish this fucking bitch, but anyway, so I uh. Thank you all for listening. I'm your host, ryan baron north, with me, as always, james crossland lube. Uh, guys, thank you so much. Um, yeah, uh, yeah, look at you, fucking, look at yourselves, look at your heroes. All right, god damn, we all deserve to die in a fire. All right, this is I, and dry everybody bye.
