Episode 65. Unattended Crystal Balls & High Priest Imhotep vs. Joel Miller (Feat. Luke)

High n' Dry Podcast has returned!  This week, the philosophers discover the Honeycomb Monster's crystal ball, and they get to ask for a single truth about themselves, their lives, or their futures.  After that, High Priest Imhotep of Mummy fame takes a crack at bringing down HBO's Last of Us murder machine--Joel Miller!  

Transcript

00:00.00
Ryan
All right now that we got that figured out good God All right? Okay, it's huge huge. It's a huge pain in the s and then one program decides you know what we're gonna use this microphone and it doesn't even tell you and you know.

00:03.24
Luke
Audio issues would were my downfall when I streamed that's that literally almost every single time.

00:18.64
Ryan
I Think that's what happened a recording ago was that I was recording from my laptop while talking into my expensive microphone. So that's cool. That's cool.

00:23.51
Luke
Ah I usually just disable every other microphone besides the one that I want to use so that way that no application can mess it up.

00:25.55
James
On essay.

00:35.77
Ryan
Yeah, that's what I got though I should do that So anyway, ah does ah does anyone get a bead on emoteps first name.

00:41.88
Luke
Oh.

00:42.47
James
That I think that was his name.

00:46.82
Luke
Um, it's high presimo tip. Yeah.

00:46.98
Ryan
He's like he's got a share thing going on high priest himmateep right? and a Joel also a share thing.

00:54.60
Luke
Um, just it's just Joe to let's fine. Yeah Bill Miller

00:55.98
James
I think Joel I think it's just Joel I don't think he ever oh Miller. Yes.

01:01.12
Ryan
She says Joel.

01:07.65
Ryan
Joel Miller Joel Miller okay there you go all right? Well so for those of you who are already with us. That's what he's goingnna be today high priestess I mean high priest high priest and withep versus Joel Miller

01:12.61
Luke
Joel and Tammy Miller

01:21.45
Luke
Ah.

01:25.50
Ryan
Here's your fight for you all right guys everyone welcome to high and dry podcast. The only podcast where we do all your our own stunts I'm Ryan baron north your host as always James Crosslin joining me James was going on man. How's he been.

01:39.35
James
Been good been good. It's been ah, it's been really floody out here in California I don't know if it's made national news but California keeps keeps getting flooded art. Yeah.

01:48.27
Ryan
For real I Yeah I had no idea. So.

01:53.52
James
Yeah California keeps getting flooded. We keep getting these things that I'd never heard of called atmospheric rivers where it just keeps dumping rain and there's like mudslides and people have drowned in shit. It's ah it's crazy.

02:04.36
Ryan
Um, ah wow.

02:07.73
Luke
It's kind of crazy that it hasn't made national news. That's that's crazy.

02:12.16
Ryan
Maybe maybe we're just looking at different types of news. You know I yeah yeah, yeah, oh well well ah and ah so joining us also returning guest Luke luke man what's going on how you been.

02:12.82
James
Well I live in this state now. So it makes sense.

02:26.70
Luke
Been good man I've been I've been busy, busy busy at work. But I've gotten a different role so I took over as the IT admin for my company. Yeah, pretty well for the for the us region.

02:28.44
Ryan
Now.

02:36.60
Ryan
Castle set.

02:36.16
James
They.

02:41.55
Ryan
Awesome! yeah.

02:41.93
Luke
But yeah, pretty excited new career path so learning a bunch of new things which has been good for my my brain I was a little stagnant at work and bored and wasn't enjoying it.

02:50.32
Ryan
That's good. That's nice. That's nice none I see you I see all your golfing posts. You're getting big onto the golfing scene.

02:57.13
Luke
I Love golfing right now too I'm I'm kind of obsessed if I'm honest with you I watch videos on golfing and and doesn't make me any better. But I like I'll just sit there watch videos constantly and then I try to play like once a week now I'm I'm real into it I know I don't know what got the itch in me but think it's cause that everyone.

03:02.91
Ryan
Wow Yeah, damn that's awesome. Yeah.

03:16.67
Luke
Gotten a lot more popular recently golf in general. No I don't honestly no don't so don't support.

03:17.42
James
To you? why.

03:19.40
Ryan
Do you drink Arnold Palmly reels and palmers now now the beverage made by the seventh. Best golfer arguably.

03:30.10
Luke
Yeah, but he knows how to make a fucking drink he might he might only be the seventh as golfer but you know he knows how to make a drink now I don't I'm ah I actually don't even drink on the course either I only I I've not a big want to get drunk out there just because it's fucking hot in Florida it's too hot.

03:31.27
Ryan
But.

03:45.84
Ryan
Yeah I guess so but.

03:45.92
James
He's there for the athleticism man. It's not further.

03:47.53
Luke
I'm here to I'm here to I'm here to shoot scoot low all right? and then I still don't and I'm mad about it and I'm not like why am I not a pro with this um because you only do it once a week you're not you're not a you're not a pro

03:58.12
Ryan
Where I oh sorry James.

04:00.27
James
Do you? Ah do you go with your dad and and skunk bear.

04:02.76
Luke
Oh no I wait my dad my dad won't go. He won't go with me. Yeah, know he's.

04:07.47
Ryan
The last time I was golfing. We're like we we're like 8 holes in and like I was the you know this is all right? you know and then this golf cart pulls up with his dude just selling alcohol out the back and like no one stopped him and we bought some alcohol and.

04:21.28
James
Yeah.

04:22.28
Luke
Yeah, yeah I mean I I sometimes drink on the course. But honestly I not not often I'm I'm mostly ah I'll bring a pin out there and I like the relaxing time. Quiet Nice I.

04:25.12
Ryan
Turned into a great time. Yeah.

04:37.10
Luke
Yeah, but depending who you're with you know you get the right crowd around it. It can be pretty rowdy out on the core flipping carts and kind of stuff. Yeah, just yeah, never yeah.

04:40.59
Ryan
Yeah, yeah for sure flipping cards to hitting the balls into the water. Well speaking of all this booze and drinking what makes high and dry so special. For those of you who have never listened to us before.

04:45.61
James
Real Jackass shit.

04:57.59
Luke
If this is.

04:57.98
James
It's Ryan keep the.

04:58.40
Ryan
Um, yeah is me, but also we get really drunk and we get really high first half of our episode. We talk about a little philosophical conundrum a debate a little fun question and then it breaks down to a fist bite fist fight. But first it's time to get a little drunk its time to get a little high James.

05:15.95
Luke
Um, you.

05:16.95
Ryan
What are you smoking this week

05:19.33
James
Um, this week I have a flower version of one of my favorite oils that I've used in the past called mimosa you know, but Momosa is one of my favorites about its this like this really uplifting.

05:28.66
Ryan
Oh I do recall I do recall. Yeah.

05:37.20
James
And it gets your brain Really excited. It's ah it's like it's It's like the drink you know it's like a brunch. It's like brunch like get do it? yeah.

05:42.91
Ryan
Okay, hell yeah, all right? all right? and Luke what are you bringing to the table.

05:42.98
Luke
Like send me mos on a Sunday I get that.

05:52.32
Luke
I Have actually a dab pin today. It's ah and it's a loha Express is the strain. It's supposed to be. It's a sativa strain. So and I don't know if I've ever had this strain before I've had Pineapple Express but not not a loha express. So.

05:58.58
Ryan
Oh.

06:10.13
Ryan
Lovely, okay, all right and I will be joining you this week with now. So no one at home is ever going to see this but you gentlemen there's my new bar cart fully stocked. Yes there? yeah.

06:10.27
Luke
But well yeah, these are these are lovely. So I'm excited.

06:24.21
Luke
Ooh and nice I like it.

06:26.92
Ryan
And today I have made a selection offer there in my decanter I only drink.

06:29.99
Luke
Are who.

06:31.29
James
He just weep he wheels it to his desk and but.

06:38.28
Ryan
Ah, ah, I'm never too far from my booze. But today I'm going to be bringing for to Lisa Blaca Tequila Blanco tequila sorry I've recently I've found a ah love for tequila's and I don't know. What? that's about. But I'm riding with it seeing what's happening.

06:57.38
Luke
I don't if you get I'm not ah I was never a tequila drinker until 1 time someone was like you're just drinking bad tequila and I did try this this other bottle. It's 100% of gave like true Blanco Tequila and it honestly like went I took a shot of it.

07:07.48
Ryan
Um, yeah.

07:14.37
Luke
And I had a lineme in my hand I was like okay but I but and I yeah I took that I was like I like whoa that that was that didn't have a bite at all that was kind of lovely. Yeah, it surprises he I get what you mean Not I've always gone my life. Everyone's like I like to kill I'm like no that's disgusting but tried a good one and now.

07:14.50
Ryan
You don't need it. You don't need it. Oh okay, very nice. Yeah, it was very nice.

07:32.15
Ryan
Yeah, yeah, no, this one was he was close to a hundred bucks and yeah for sure. So well, let's take them down first toaster day this one goes out to share carl urban and our guest returning 1 of our favorites Luke.

07:33.25
Luke
My mind's of my mind's a little changed.

07:48.24
Luke
Of course.

07:49.16
Ryan
Thanks man.

07:51.98
Ryan
I As good.

08:03.52
Ryan
Oh my. Oh So how was it everyone feeling good. It just blows your shit out.

08:07.38
James
Yeah.

08:07.39
Luke
Always mute for the real hard cough because you know it's gonna hurt people's ears. Yeah yeah, literally everyone would their ears would hurt if I fucking if I ripped it on the hard cos is good though.

08:21.56
Ryan
Ah, ah, good good I'm glad I'm glad all right? So now our second toast this one is going to go out to our newest listeners now I was very interested to see that our last episode has not stopped.

08:37.36
James
Yeah I know I saw those numbers and I was like what the heck.

08:37.91
Ryan
Being listened to yeah so, it's still going strong. We've had listeners every day all month and our newest listeners of our last episode from last season. They are from looks like Beckley West Virginia and well wait never mind fuck beckley we've got a listener from Nigeria and the United Arab emirates some.

08:59.86
James
I.

09:04.47
Luke
Um, whos I I think it should go out to Beckley and Nigeria.

09:07.49
James
Um, hell yeah I I yeah.

09:13.80
Ryan
Fuck back. You're right here's to them both pour him up light em up to Backley to Nigeria. Cheers.

09:24.18
James
Cheers. I can't I can't imagine. There's anyone out there who like who listens to our podcast and also enjoys where they live or like has any kind of loyalty to where they live people got to be okay with us being like fuck where you live I don't know. And never I So I slept to make my hit sorry.

09:41.28
Ryan
Um, I Well I feel like ah if if that offend you're not getting the humor of this you know I think that's you know who.

09:54.59
Luke
No single place is that awesome. You can't be that you know it's yeah.

09:57.97
Ryan
Yeah, yeah, you got to got to roll with it all right now. Fine fuck San Diego

10:03.10
James
Sandy goes pretty cool but you can you could you could say fuck San Diego to me I have you point well bear mine I'm wrong. You tested me immediately I got to leave.

10:04.40
Luke
Fuck San Diego he well my guys.

10:14.21
Ryan
Ah, ah you called my bluff all right. Our final shot final hit this one is going and this is one's guest toast I don't have to think about this shit Luke what's it to.

10:25.87
Luke
It's to you guys man I'm I'm glad we're always able to get together and do you know whether it's a podcast or just reaching out to each other and checking in and shit like that. But I appreciate you guys that I want this one to go to the hosts of high and dry.

10:42.18
Ryan
Hell yeah to the hosts of hind dry fuck the host Ira. Cheers.

10:44.63
Luke
But Cheers guys.

10:45.49
James
That's me yeah, fuck fuck them.

10:50.15
James
You know I'm a motherfu piece of shit you know Chris ran is so funny in that movie Ryan and I were just talking about pop star easily one of the best movies in the last Decade pop star is such a killer movement.

11:04.93
Ryan
Easily easily.

11:06.84
Luke
Which movie did you say.

11:09.18
James
Easily pop star never stop. Never stopping by Andy Samberg in The Lonely Island Crew you know you know what? oh sorry good.

11:15.53
Luke
Is this this is it.

11:19.99
Ryan
You're when in the no I'm just saying went in the limo when the dudes pressed his dick against the window fucking Hilarious fucking hilarious.

11:28.90
James
It is and and you know they're they're always so they've got such quick clean Jabs and their props department is like always so good with the lonely island productions I think they I think they've really mastered writing like a super tight script.

11:45.60
Ryan
Yeah.

11:47.70
James
And with with really great jokes and like really in-depth Hidden gems and I think they make just the movies at the end of it. Do what do? what? a movie should do they make you want more but also feel fulfilled they're they're like this is awesome I Loved this.

11:52.53
Ryan
Um, per.

12:00.86
Ryan
Yeah. Yeah, Well I mean it's like going out man you got to end the party while people still want to be there before it's gone on too long and yeah.

12:05.79
James
That was a great ending great where everything's wrapped up I Want kind of want to watch it again.

12:16.25
James
Right? They're really good at it.

12:19.19
Luke
That's a good That's a really good way to put it. Yeah, really good way to way to put it.

12:23.77
Ryan
Yeah, oh yeah, for sure, it's like when the karaoke bar we've been there. It's better to be there for 2 hours when we're like I can still do journey instead of 3 hours when it's like I guess we'll do Neil Diamond and that's what they've mastered so anyway producers are telling me to to fucking tighten it up here.

12:35.26
Luke
Um, if it's she.

12:41.92
Ryan
Um, it's time to get start the show.

12:42.96
Luke
Um, we got to move on. Go go go. So.

12:43.52
James
Um, Andy Sandberg can listen.

12:47.45
Ryan
So it's time for our first part of this show. We're gonna do a question I have a question for you guys. Let's see how you feel about it. So the premise here is that you know he's popped up a few times, especially Luke I think you've been around a few times where. God um, also the 90 s Honeycomb Monster ah ah you know, leaps out of Bushes and shit um in this particular scenario. We have stumbled upon the honeycomb monsters like den and we find his crystal ball and this crystal ball.

13:09.00
Luke
Is it. So.

13:26.80
Ryan
You can look into it and it'll tell you a truth about yourself your life or your future and you get to ask it one we have 1 question each before the honeycomb monster comes back and murders all of us what question.

13:40.60
Luke
Okay.

13:44.73
Ryan
Ah, that to this crystal ball that'll answer you a truth of your life as it is now the future. What are you going to ask guests first Luke.

13:54.51
Luke
Yeah I know I'm um, that's a hard question to answer I would say that.

14:01.64
Ryan
Yeah, that.

14:09.63
Luke
I would ask a question about my life now. Because I think no in the future can sometimes damage living now you know in the moment. So I don't the future question doesn't really interest me all too much and the question I would ask I think is.

14:16.95
Ryan
Um, yeah, yeah.

14:27.62
Luke
What is my actual calling. What is it like what? what can you tell? what is my purpose on this earth. What do you? What will fulfill me to my my life's you know my my happiest life. Basically so I think that's the question I would ask because.

14:29.40
Ryan
Oh.

14:44.90
Ryan
Um, yeah.

14:47.44
Luke
So often people waste time you know trying to figure out what they want to do. They're calling and um if I could get to that point and sooner. Why not kind of thing like I feel like that might not actually you know it could damage the future or you know it it just all it does is it. It makes me a little happier a little longer.

15:07.12
Ryan
Yeah.

15:07.19
Luke
But I do think no in the future would be have longer long term damages um whereas that question I feel like wouldn't have too bad of implications. Yeah, but odd man I Really are you positive man I really.

15:16.22
Ryan
Um, the ball is just like security at best Buy you sure I don't know.

15:24.18
James
Um, ah, sewage sewage maintenance.

15:26.35
Luke
Ah, yeah, doesn't sound like I'm I'm really, but you know I spent years fighting the fact that he told me this no I'm no not and it can't be that finally I succumb I go I go.

15:39.62
Ryan
Put on the Yellow polo.

15:42.40
Luke
The application I put on I put it the application I get the job and I'm like holy shit I'm fucking happy. Oh a bastard was right? This is fantastic.

15:52.90
Ryan
Son of a bitch I solid solid. Well James what what do you think? what are you going to ask this crystal ball.

16:02.24
James
Go with something really easy. The lottery numbers for tomorrow and then and then and then I can go find out what my colleague is free of any kind of financial.

16:06.66
Ryan
No so.

16:15.25
Ryan
The ball can only answer questions about you.

16:18.34
James
And what? what? how do what numbers do I put down when I went in the powerball tomorrow.

16:24.80
Ryan
For me to win the ah, ah you see question like that will alert the Honeycomb Monster immediately. Yeah and we just hear is like.

16:29.32
Luke
Um.

16:30.63
Luke
Yeah.

16:33.22
James
Let me.

16:39.52
Luke
He'll be aware. He's too keen on things like this. Um.

16:43.25
Ryan
Of his feet running up the driveway. But for fuck. Yeah.

16:47.76
Luke
I.

16:52.90
James
Ah, let's see the truth about.

16:53.58
Ryan
Ah, because he had those 10 shoes. You know you could hear them.

16:54.40
Luke
Oh 100% and he he doesn't he's not quiet. Look at him look no.

16:58.10
Ryan
No no and he looks like he's suspended by strings like fucking Kermit the frog. Yeah, we'd hear him coming. Yeah all right? so.

17:06.71
James
What what was the question hold on. No no, no. Okay so so I know the crystal ball. No a thing. What were the things again.

17:14.78
Ryan
The truth about yourself your life your future.

17:21.73
James
I don't know I'm too indecisive it really sucks that that's the that's the yeah, what would be the best question to ask this crystal wall.

17:25.10
Ryan
You get what question should I ask.

17:37.39
Ryan
Ah, and I right? you got it now move over Assle.

17:41.52
Luke
Ah, this is what you should ask all right move along next next to this.

17:41.68
James
Um.

17:42.69
Ryan
Next customer.

17:46.34
James
Yeah I don't know that's so tough. I don't know if there's anything I'd want to know more about myself or my life or my future I kind of just want to do it. You know I'd I'd I'd love to be unencumbered in some way but this doesn't provide you know knowledge is supposedly power but there's other things that influence your power in the world and I don't know if there's anything I'd like to know and just like to figure it out.

18:08.32
Ryan
Yeah.

18:15.26
Ryan
Yeah.

18:17.63
James
It's ah I feel like what's What's what's the phrase like oh from come Fu Panda oftentimes when avoiding destiny where we're hush shit I forgot quote but it's like by avoiding your destiny. You end up fulfilling it right? Oh okay, yeah.

18:29.20
Luke
Um, if you.

18:29.76
Ryan
Um, that that was actually pop star. Yeah yeah, that's a good. Yeah I mean that's I mean solid point. And I think for me I would ask the the crystal ball. If.

18:46.79
Ryan
Like am I a good person you know I would ask am I a good person and just to see like yeah because I you know everyone has main character syndrome and everyone sort of falls into their habits and yeah. I Would just ask this crystal ball like is what I'm doing good or do I need to readjust myself you know leave whichever way the ball answers. You know I know like all right I'm on the right path or I know okay I need to I need to take some effort and correct myself a little bit here.

19:21.97
James
Yeah, yeah.

19:25.28
Ryan
So it wouldn't give me anything like specific. You know like Luke working at best by now. Ah, you know yeah on his pursuit of happiness. Yeah, they pay $9 an hour.

19:28.23
Luke
He Yeah I'm going into debt just because this is better. Go It's my calling though.

19:32.18
James
Um.

19:44.15
Ryan
Yeah, but it's my college I've never been happier. You know? yeah I don't have to pay off those credit cards I've already faked my death 3 times. And but yeah for me though, just, just the ball going like yeah man, you're doing all right? or maybe you should clean it up a little bit. I think that.

19:46.31
Luke
If if if ah.

19:49.48
James
Yeah, if there her.

20:03.93
Ryan
Is what? ah what? what would do me the best you know just for just for me because I've you know I've done things in my past that I regret and regret is like sort of a a daily part of my life exactly? So yeah, so knowing.

20:14.30
Luke
And yeah, and you're like have I adjusted enough at this point. Yeah hey am I done making myself better or should I.

20:18.53
James
Um, can I can I stop trying? um.

20:27.60
Ryan
Her what's up man. What's up this is exhausting this is fucking exhausting. So yeah, there's that, all right? Well so ah Luke.

20:31.87
Luke
I.

20:36.96
James
But can I stop.

20:43.87
Ryan
Back to you final thoughts. You're looking into that crystal ball. What do you think? Yeah, well then? okay.

20:47.48
Luke
I stick with my answer I felt confident that when I picked it and I think I still do want to know and I think I'm also gonna take James Iss because he doesn't want it and then I also want to just know the entirety of one piece. What's happened it like like I've watched it but I haven't you know what? I mean.

21:02.49
James
Okay, get to be.

21:02.81
Ryan
Okay, but you don't have to? yeah yeah, yeah.

21:06.95
Luke
Yeah I like I but I know and I can and I can talk about it. Enjoy it like the people who have watched it they enjoy I can tell they have passion but fuck is it a thousand episodes my god this is a lot of my life I'm given up and if if I can.

21:10.30
Ryan
Yeah, but you didn't put that effort in that's nice.

21:15.86
James
He you just said, just ask chat Gbt Man you don't need a crystal ball just is just ask a I to summers it for you. Oh that's smart.

21:23.77
Ryan
Yeah, man chat she beat. That's all we should. That's what I'm gonna do man I'm gonna ask Chap Gp am I doing all right? okay.

21:23.90
Luke
Yeah, tried bad. They could do it. They could do it? Yeah right. Or you can ask jaie to to Jack chat g p t what task the crystal ball and it as if.

21:40.72
Ryan
Holy shit. That's perfect. Alright, we figured it out guys. We we figured this shit out. Um, it just so happens I have it open? Um, yeah I have it open so.

21:49.14
Luke
Okay, oddly enough I.

21:58.19
Ryan
All right? So what should I ask a crystal ball that will tell me anything any truth about my life. My.

22:11.22
Luke
At Present I'd say my life at present or the future. He.

22:11.25
James
I Already got my answer. How can I deepen my relationships with others.

22:19.63
Ryan
Okay, all right there you go all right? It's a chat g p t coming in helping James out. You know he's throwing it up so he could scottie pipping it down all right. That's the other way around. He's chat g p t is Scottie Pippin and

22:25.29
Luke
The.

22:26.30
James
But.

22:31.30
Luke
With effort.

22:36.10
James
Yeah, yeah.

22:37.23
Luke
Growing and throwing up the dung Ford.

22:39.42
Ryan
Yeah, throwing up the dunk for you for James yeah, okay, all right there we go we figured that shit out.

22:43.38
James
The the number the number one answer it gave me was what is my purpose in life. What am I meant to do.

22:48.52
Luke
Well I swear I look it up. Oh Ja chat oh my God I can't fucking say chat gpp.

22:50.69
Ryan
Um, okay, all right?

22:56.73
Ryan
Right? So I just asked chat gp t what should Luke do to find true happiness. He says identify and pursue your passions build meaningful relationships cultivate a positive mindset practice gratitude and take care of your physical health. So there you go Luke there. You go all right? so.

23:11.51
Luke
Okay I make sense no specific with.

23:16.62
Ryan
Honeycomb monsters out of a fucking job.

23:16.96
James
Yeah god god god really died when Jed J G V to

23:21.92
Luke
I think.

23:25.42
Ryan
Ah, God's Dead Welcome Chad Gp T I Feel that's how we should end it up. It's time now to move into the second part of this podcast. So everyone next up we have a fist fight for you?

23:30.67
James
Ah.

23:42.95
Ryan
High and dry podcast now has spent 2 seasons two and a half seasons well no this is gonna be the first episode of season 3 so high and dry podcast has spent 2 seasons bringing you the guaranteed method to determine who would win in a fist fight between your nerd shit all right fuck battle. Arena or whatever that fuck that other place is they don't know what they're taught here hero fight battled k arenas cage some shit like that everyone else they're just imitators all right? Best? Yeah yeah, yeah.

24:01.96
James
Hero fight.

24:10.16
James
Yeah, we came we came last but also are they yeah best. Yeah, we're the only one that matters where we're like the Wu Ta clan but better.

24:20.57
Luke
Um, ah, instead of regret.

24:20.69
Ryan
Became last but we came best all right now.

24:27.59
James
But as soon as I said it.

24:30.96
Ryan
Ah, all right? So this week. We have high priest emotep versus Joel Miller of the last of us emotep. You know the former being of the mummy franchise featuring everyone's favorite Brendan Fraser um and how we do. This is a 3 round method guaranteed to get you results. Round 1 these 2 characters step into a legally distinct fight club basement located at a not legally distinct applebees. There. They just punch each other to death pound for pound punch for punch we see who's standing in the end round 2 these characters Zoom out into a city view where they have 24 hours to use anything that they'd find in a city or in their universe to defeat the other one and then finally round 3 is the same thing as round 2 except this time they get to bring a friend.